Him & I
by Adonisia
Summary: She was nothing, a nobody. A paper ninja that barely passed the practicals, stuck in the hospital with no change in sight. All she ever wanted was a chance to be something more. Along came an Uchiha to do just that. [Non-mass] [ItaSakuShi]
1. Chapter 1

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-x-

"For fucks sake, Forehead," Ino seethed. " _Go talk to him._ " With a sharp nudge to Sakura's side, the drink in her hand went careening to the ground and shattered beautifully, capturing the attention of everyone within a ten-foot radius. Including the man in question.

Her face _burned_. Sakura turned, "I hate you so goddamn much." But the blonde just shrugged, turning around to sip her sake, and flirt with the bartender.

Another bartender came around and helped clean up the mess, brushing off Sakura's pleas of apology for how clumsy she was. She didn't need to look up to know that _he_ was looking at her still. She winced as a sharp piece of glass slit open her finger.

She ducked out to the bathroom, running it under cold water and bracing herself against the sink. She was right. Her face was cherry-red. She moaned, head hanging in defeat.

"Ino, why the fuck do you think I can just 'go up and talk' to Itachi Uchiha, of ALL people?" She dried her hands off, muttering angrily to herself. "He's a fucking god, and I'm just some paper ninja that barely passed the practicals."

She threw open the door and ran straight into the Uchiha God.

"Fuck me," she breathed, looking up at him. He raised an eyebrow and her words caught up with her head. "I-I mean, uh… s-sorry," she slipped past him.

"You're… Sakura Haruno, right?" He asked, leaning against the door-frame. She turned around reluctantly, and grimaced. "My brother mentions you sometimes."

She laughed awkwardly, winging her hands together. "P-probably bad things, right? He thinks I'm kinda useless."

Itachi cocked his head to the side, a confused look on his face. "Didn't you punch straight through a mountain on a mission in Kiri?"

She couldn't stop the blush that crept up her neck. "A-ah, yeah. I did." _Oh Gods, now he's going to tell me how unattractive that is in a woman. Great going, Sakura._

Instead, he laughed. A soft kind that melted her heart. "That's pretty amazing, Haruno-san." His gaze flittered from her face to something behind her. "Sorry, I have to get going." He moved, but stopped at her side, leaning to whisper in her ear. "Since your friend has been pushing you to talk to me for the last couple weeks, maybe this will give her something to talk about."

He walked away and Sakura shivered violently.

"Bye, Haruno-san." She heard him call out leaving behind one (1) weak-kneed pink-haired kunoichi and one (1) smirking and amused blonde.

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A/N: I'm having some serious writers block on my other stories, so I'm going to publish a bunch of one-shot drabbles of Itachi and Sakura I have lingering in my documents.


	2. Chapter 2

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She left the Hokage's office with a limp that not even her _vastly_ superior medical ninjutsu could heal. It was just some of those things that would heal with time, but gods was it a bitch. Her body felt like it had been put through a grinder and spit out broken and bruised. Her mission did not go as she had planned and if she were a less determined person, she would have actually died. Because who the fuck thinks a B-Rank mission would ever turn into an S-Rank?

Sakura slowly limped her way through the darkening streets of Konoha. Her mind cycling through her plan once she stepped through her apartment doors. _Hot shower, food, coma, reports._ She felt tears in her eyes thinking about how soft her bed would be…

"Hey, Sakura-chan!"

 _Oh please god no._

"Sa-ku-ra-a-chan!" Naruto called again, and yep, no running away from him this time. She turned with all the reluctance in the world to see the radiant blonde waving happily and rushing over to her. Damn it, she was so close to home! "Wow, you're looking a little rough around the edges, you know what would fix that?"

She grimaced. "Please don't say- "

"Ramen! C'mon, Sasuke-teme's already inside. C'mon, c'mon!" She couldn't even fight him as he all but threw her into the ramen shop and plopped her down on a seat on the other side of Sasuke. The younger Uchiha looked up and gave her a once-over with a sneer.

"You look like shit, Sakura," he scoffed. "Didn't realize that B-Rank missions were so _hard_ for you."

She didn't have enough energy nor will to fight with him today. She hummed in response and receiving a fresh bowl of ramen gratefully. Naruto kept chattering about his latest mission but Sakura's sole focus was this food and keeping back the blackness creeping in on the corners of her eyes.

 _Fuck, don't pass out in the noodles._

"Sasuke?"

Team Seven turned to see the Uchiha heir enter the shop with a soft smile. "I was going to tell you that okaa-san wasn't making dinner tonight, but I suppose you're already eating." Itachi Uchiha nodded politely to his younger brother's teammates.

Sasuke, in all his angsty attitude, just raised an eyebrow and turned around back to eat. Naruto began to chide him for being so rude while Sakura tried to shrink herself smaller in the seat. She did not want him to see her like this. She could only imagine what a horror-show her hair was. Her skin was still covered in flaking dirt and blood, and her poor qipao was nearly ripped to shreds.

 _Please don't notice me, please don't notice me, please don-_

"Haruno-san, I heard about the mission. Congratulations."

Life hated her.

Sasuke's attention snapped to his older brother leaning against the free seat on Sakura's side with narrowed eyes. "Why are you congratulating her for a B-Rank?"

Itachi did that head-tilt thing with a small lift of his lips, looking down at the crouched kunoichi. "You didn't tell them that your B-Rank got bumped up to an S-Rank?"

 _Damn it, Uchiha-san._

"WHAT?" Naruto yelled, all but jumping out of his seat. "You did a SOLO S-Rank?! But you're still a _chūnin_."

Sakura wanted to die and Itachi looked way too pleased with himself. "It's been the talk of the upper ranks all day," he said, a hint of pride in his voice. "Considering her _very_ successful completion, there's a pile of recommendations for her to attend the jōnin exams in the spring on the Hokage's desk."

Sasuke's glare felt like an itch along her skin. "Your mission was just to spy on an abandoned base they thought to be Orochimaru's."

She nodded, pushing the half-eaten bowl of ramen away from her. "It was, until an Akatsuki found me digging around in the old files."

"An Akatsuki?" Naruto and Sasuke echoed.

Flashbacks of blood-red hair, and puppet parts flying at her nearly made her stomach turn. "Sasori of the Red Sand. He was using the base to build his puppets." She paused, "assholes, if you're wondering. His poison is a bitch to heal."

Sasuke's glare turned colder and she hated the way he looked at her. " _You_ killed an Akatsuki. By _yourself_?"

She was getting irritated. She slapped some coins on the counter and got up. "I did. If you don't believe me, I'm sure Tsunade-shishou would be willing to show you his head I brought back with me." She turned away from him, sliding past Itachi who watched with amused eyes. " _Great_ catching up. See you later, Naruto."

"Ah, are you leaving? I'll walk with you." Itachi offered, offering his arm as a crutch and she unconsciously took it, still boiling over Sasuke.

 _Stupid fucking boy._

 _Of course, I killed an Akatsuki, almost fucking died from his poison, but yeah. I killed him._

 _Why would I even lie about that? Can't take me fucking seriously, can he? Who does he-?_

A sharp poke to her forehead had her snapping out of her inner monologue into the warm, dark eyes of Itachi. She paused, looking down at her hand wrapped around his bicep and _wow, his skin is so nice._ "If you think that hard, you'll get winkles."

A wry laugh, and they continued down the street. He was polite enough to adapt to her limp. _If it was Naruto, he would be three streets over before he realized I wasn't with him._

"I apologize for Sasuke." Itachi started, looking down at her with a small tilt. "He's so desperate to follow in my footsteps that when he sees someone accomplishing more than what he has, he gets a little…"

"Asshole-ish?" She supplied with a soft grin, and he laughed.

 _He has a really nice laugh._

 _God, keep it together Sakura._

"Yeah."

The apartment building came into sight and Sakura let go of his arm. "This is me. Thanks for um, walking me home?"

He was slow to let her go, that analyzing gaze on her again that made her squirm. "You should be really proud of yourself, Haruno-san," he said when she had one hand on the handle. "You're an exceptional kunoichi to take down an Akatsuki." He paused, then smiled, "you've done something that not even ANBU has accomplished yet."

She felt the blush creeping up her neck. "Don't tease me, Uchiha-san." She mumbled before slipping into the doors and up the stairs.

"Goodnight, Haruno-san."


	3. Chapter 3

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She scowled at the looming Konoha gates as she approached, hitching her backpack higher up on her shoulders. Not even two weeks after she returned with the head of the Akatsuki member, Sasori of the Red Sand, she was being sent back out _again_ to gather more information. Because apparently only _she_ could know what kind of documents the Hokage was looking for. And she was the only one who could _sorta_ make sense of all the medical lingo.

"Well, well, _we-e-ll,_ " a voice drawled from the gate. "If it isn't Konaha's own Shortcake Powerhouse." Kotetsu, one half of the Gate Twins, grinned from his spot against the gate wall.

Sakura narrowed her eyes at the nickname, and opened her mouth to protest but instead, Izumo, the other half, cut in. "It's what the upper ranks have dubbed you, little pink." The long-haired shinobi smirked.

 _Honestly, these nicknames were ridiculous._

"So, Shortcake, heading out again to fight those _big, bad Akatsuki_ and keep us safe?" Kotetsu teased, reaching out to ruffle her hair.

She ducked out of the way with a glare and a clenched fist. "I'm not short!"

Instead, the Twins grinned mischievously. Izumo sized her up. "You're what.. five-one? Five-two?"

"Five- _three_ thank you _very much_." Her glare didn't do much other than make their grins grow wider. _Shortcake Powerhouse, my fucking ass. I'll punch a damn hole through this gate with my pinkie._

"All jokes aside, little pink," Izumo sobered. "All the upper ranks are seriously impressed, and you've lit the fire under some of the lazier members asses. Heard through the grape-vine that ANBU has your file for consideration."

Sakura frowned. _ANBU? There was no way Morino Ibiki would want a paper-ninja._ "Ever seen a pink-haired ANBU?" She asked.

The Twins shrugged.

"Exactly," she sighed. "I don't exactly scream ' _assassination and infiltration kunoichi_ ', do I?"

Before the Twins could get a word in, a masked and cloaked ANBU dropped down beside her with a short bow. Kotetsu whistled. "Wo-o-ow, ANBU escort. Moving up in the world, little pink."

She promptly ignored the resulting laughter and took the scroll from the ANBU's outstretched hand and gave it a quick read over. Another bunker, this time near Iwagakure. _What was Orochimaru doing in Earth Country?_ The scroll burned to ashes in her hand and she gave a farewell wave to the Gate Twins.

"So, Cat-san, do you speak?"

A resulting head tilt told her that no, Cat did not speak. And yes, the two-week round trip was bound to be absolutely _enthralling_.

"Fantastic." She grumbled and set off.

* * *

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* * *

The depot was deserted, as she suspected it would be. The entrance was buried beneath rock and mud from a landslide. Sakura had to use a few chakra-filled punches to clear away the debris so she and Cat could get in. Papers were scattered to the floors, and with her ever present shadow, she scanned them all, tossing them into 'keep' and 'burn' piles. She found most of the information was about his experiments. She only saw the skeleton of one of his test subjects once, and it was grotesque. She couldn't eat for days. "What is he trying to achieve?" She mumbled to herself, picking up the 'keep' pile and tucked it into her backpack. Most were half-completed sketches of a serpentine skeleton, with chakra pathways and body chemical levels.

 _Was he trying to create a giant snake or…?_

Lost in her head, Sakura turned into the hallway, and threw open another door only to step in something soft. Her eyes snapped to the floor. A pale purple sticky substance covered the floor of the dimmed lab filled with cracked open glass capsules. Some of the skeletons still had rotting flesh on their bones. The smell hit her first, and the sound of something clicking in the distance second. She barely had time to duck before a hundred kunai were released at her. Belated, she realized she had now pressed most of her body into the substance and now there was no running. She tugged on her arm, and found it didn't even budge. _Of fucking course this would happen_.

The kunai ended up colliding off the wall and falling to the ground. In the distance, she saw the mechanism reload, this time aiming more kunai directly at her crouched form. _Damn, can't dodge that!_ She tugged harder at her stuck skin and closed her eyes, awaiting the impact of kunai that never came. Peaking an eye open, a flash of Cat's black cloak skipped over the sticky floor and deflected the weapons. She heard his soft grunt as the mechanism was smashed to bits.

When he turned, three kunai trailed from his hip to his shoulder and she sighed.

 _Shit._

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* * *

"Rookie mistake," she mumbled, helping the ANBU take off their cloak and outer shirt so she could get to his bare skin.

Blood was still oozing slowly out of the three puncture marks and she could smell the bittersweet scent of poison. "Fuck," she swore, all but pouring her canteen of water out on the ground and using it to begin taking the poison out. "Everyone couldn't stop telling me how _proud_ they were that I killed an Akatsuki member. How _impressed_ ," she sneered. "I lived out of pure spite to everyone who told me I would be nothing more than a paper-ninja, nothing more than just the female part of Team Seven." She blinked back hot tears of frustration, focusing on pulling more poison out. "Maybe I should just find a man to marry me and quit being a ninja. That's what shinobi want, right? A submissive wife? I suck at being a damn kunoichi, so I should just quit while I still can."

The silence stretched and the only sound was Cat's hitched breathing, and Sakura's sniffling. _Great, now you sound like a whining child. You really grew up, didn't you Sakura?_

"You're wrong, Haruno-san," the anbu said lowly, softly. "You're a good kunoichi."

She scoffed, taking out the last of the bright green poison, and set to work on stitching up his muscle and skin. "You know you're the second person that said that to me? I didn't believe him of course. Because there's no way an Uchiha prodigy like Itachi-san would ever think I'm a good ninja." She turned a bland gaze to the small holes in the mask and narrowed her eyes. "Wait, you're not Itachi-san, right?" Cat tilted his head and she scrutinized him. "Hm, no, you're not. He's shorter." Her eyes flickered up to his head. "And his hair is longer."

She chose to ignore Cat's soft laugh. "If Uchiha-san knew that I had cried my way through the entire battle, taken a poisoned sword to my stomach because I was distracted for just a half-second, and then nearly blacked out when Sasori choked the shit out of me, I think he would have something different to say."

Moving to the secondary puncture mark, she sighed. "Everyone says they're so impressed. But it took me hours to finish that battle. Hours. Sasori was playing with me near the end. Like a mouse and a cat. Uchiha-san would have finished it in seconds."

"That doesn't show resilience?"

She shook her head. " _Spite_. My own teammates would have finished a solo battle like that in minutes." After closing off the third scar, she helped him up and stretched her sore back and knees. There were no windows, or clocks in the bunker to tell them how much time had passed, but it was safe to assume it had been quite a few hours. Poison extraction always took longer.

"One day," Cat murmured, slipping his shirt back on, "you will be convinced of your own strength, Haruno-san." She could almost see Cat's smile by the small crinkle of his black eyes. "Then you'll be a force to be reckoned with, I'm sure." He handed over his own cloak to her, gesturing to the patches of her shirt, and pants that were missing, pink and irritated skin peaking through. Cut away from the sticky floor, Cat had to nearly burn her skin to get the substance to release her. She unfortunately had to sacrifice her brand-new forearm protections.

Sakura forced a blush down and hummed in response, tucking the cloak around her shoulders. "Let's get out of here before we take any more poisoned weapons to our bodies."

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-x

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"Speak."

The ANBU slipped his mask from his face, running a hand across his tired face. "Haruno-san completed her mission successfully."

Tsunade rolled her eyes and tossed her pen down. "As I am _very_ aware during her debrief minutes ago. That's not what I was asking of you."

He shifted from one foot to the other, attaching his mask to his hip. "Haruno Sakura-san lacks confidence in her own abilities due to being ignored for her more successful teammates and sensei. At this time, she does not hold the current capabilities to be within ANBU ranks."

The blonde sighed, leaning back in her chair. "Dismissed, Squad Leader."

The ANBU bowed low and stepped back to leave before turning around. "If I may, Hokage-sama?" A pointed look from the woman. "Haruno-san is strong. She has a lot of heart and resilience. I would be willing to volunteer my time to prepare her for the spring Jōnin exams. Given proper training, I would be proud to have her within ANBU ranks by this time next year."

Tsunade smiled softly. "Thank you, Shisui."

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-x-

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A/N: Thanks for the reviews, they make me smile.


	4. Chapter 4

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The beach was perfect. The sun was warm against her skin, the margarita in her hand cold and sweet, and the lapping of ocean waves against the shore musical. She sighed happily, nestling into the beach chair. She couldn't think of a better way to being rewarded for killing an Akatsuki member. All-paid expenses trip to the famous beaches of the Land of Tea? _Shishou, you're the best._

"SAKURA-CHAN!"

The kunoichi bolted up, grasping for a kunai only to come face to face with Golden Boy. "Naruto, what are you doing in Tea?"

The look he gave her was part-amused, part-confused. "Uh, Sakura-chan, you're still in Konoha?" Blinking, she looked and found that, yep, she was in her bedroom. It was a dream, a fucking good dream that Naruto had _ruined_.

She glared, "what are you doing here?"

Pulling her from her warm and comfy bed, Naruto grinned. "It's Sunday! It's Team Bonding day." It was more than safe to say that Sakura was _so_ not a morning person. "We're heading to the Uchiha compound! Miko-chan says we can join them all for Uchiha Founding day! There's gonna be a festival with lots of food and ninja games and _food_!"

Sakura frowned, turning around to pull off her tank top, and begin to wrap her chest. Having to spend numerous days and nights with boys, she was beyond being embarrassed about her body, or theirs. "If Sasuke hears you call his mother _Miko-chan_ , he'll use your tendons as a skip rope." Digging around in her closet, she pulled a mid-length white sundress out and a pair of spandex.

Naruto shrugged with a grin from his spot on her bed, legs swinging back and forth. "Miko-chan says it's fine." He paused, legs slowing. "So has Sasuke-teme…?"

Fingers tugging through the knots of her hair, she shook her head. "Nope. Not a word. Doesn't even _look_ at me." Ever since she returned from that successful mission a month and a half ago, Sasuke refused to speak to her. Going completely out of his way to avoid any sort of contact with her. All she really wanted to do was track him down and throttle him. She didn't ask for any of it, so acting like a jealous child was ridiculous and annoying.

They were eighteen for Kami sakes.

Tucking strands of her short hair behind her ear, she slipped on a pair of flat sandals. "Okay, let's go."

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* * *

It was a beautiful mid-summer day and the festival was in full swing. Sakura had to all but drag Naruto through the crowds saying it would be impolite not to greet the matriarch before getting lost in the festival.

"Ooh, Sakura-chan, they have dango! Oh-oh and look at that yakitori!" Sakura forced down a blush at the Uchiha's amused glances as they walked down the main street. "Sakura-chan! They have _ramen_!"

 _Don't kill your teammate. Don't kill your teammate. Don't kill your-_

"Good afternoon, Haruno-san." Itachi Uchiha smiled, stepping in front of her warpath. Her grip slackened momentarily, and Naruto took full advantage and within seconds, he disappeared into the crowds. Her sigh was audible and defeated. _Mission failure._

"Hello, Uchiha-san." She turned to him and smiled, drinking in the full view of the Uchiha heir in casual wear. A fitted black short-sleeve and faded jeans has never looked so good on anyone. His hair was tied off and thrown carelessly over his shoulder. His ANBU tattoo peaking through. Her stomach flip-flopped.

"Call me Itachi. I'm afraid you might confuse all my fellow clansmen."

Sakura laughed and nodded. "I suppose I would, Itachi-san." His name rolled off her tongue like honey. Multiple exposures to the Uchiha heir didn't leave her a shaking mess like the first time he talked to her, but still made her nervous and a little bit shy. An accomplished Shinobi like him was just a _little_ bit intimidating.

"Your injuries have healed?" He asked politely, tucking her hand into the crook of his elbow as they strolled down the street. His skin was still as warm and soft as she remembered. The muscle underneath taut. He was a bit old-fashioned but she wasn't complaining about the skin to skin contact.

A quick nod and a diverted gaze. "Y-yeah. Yeah, just one of those things that had to naturally heal. Sadly, being a med-nin doesn't make me a God."

His laugh was light as they approached the matriarch's home. The front sliding doors were open to let in the warm air and chattering from inside leaked out. "I'm glad it doesn't, Haruno-san. I'm afraid that would put you even more out of my league."

Having those mesmerizing black eyes fully trained and focused on her was an experience. Her brain was slow to absorb his words. _What does he mean that I'm out of his league?_

"S-s…" She stuttered and flushed. "Sakura. Call me Sakura."

His head bobbed. "Sakura-san," and dear god, her name sounded like a caress coming from his lips.

"Sakura-chan!" Naruto bounced from the inside the house to grab onto her arm. "Miko-chan made rice balls jus' for us! And says Sasuke-teme can't have any 'cause he's being an asshole to you."

A frown, and Sakura thumped Naruto on the side of the head "Language, Naruto! You're in her home." Letting the blonde pull her into the house, she paused. _How did he get here before us?_

Itachi gave her a secret smile and disappeared back outside into the crowds.

-x-

She was filled to the brim with food and sweets and a special sangria mix Mikoto said had been in her family for generations. The Uchiha Matriarch loved to spoil her and said many times that the pink-haired kunoichi was the daughter Mikoto never had.

Sakura was lounged on a love-seat swing in the courtyard gardens at the back of the house that was lit by candles and floating lanterns. Sasuke, _jerkface_ , was still ignoring her and chose to run off with Naruto to have a quick after-dinner spar before the final fireworks. Which suited her just fine.

If she were to try anything even remotely athletic right now, she would throw up.

And she would never live it down.

A figure plopped down beside her, lifting her feet up onto his lap and worked out the tightness in the soles of her feet. She sighed. "Shisui-chan, you're a God send."

The mischievous Uchiha grinned. "Careful, Sacchan, you might make me fall in love with you."

Her laugh filled the courtyard. She had never met anyone that was a bigger flirt than Uchiha Shisui. Normally a stoic and serious clan, Shisui was nothing like his clansmen. Which was one of the reasons she got along so well with him. He knew how to laugh freely.

"I also gave Sasuke-chan a good throttling. Just for you."

Ah, and that the other reason. There were only two people that Sasuke found himself at a disadvantage in a fight to. Itachi and Shisui. Both of which could beat him soundly without activating their sharingan.

The Demon Brothers.

"And this is why you're my favorite Uchiha now." The hands paused in their massage and he leaned over.

"Really?" Shisui whispered, eyes wide. "I'm your favorite? Not a certain… cousin of mine?"

Her kick hit him directly in his abdomen and he grunted from the impact.

"Shut it." Sakura ran a hand through her hair, pulling out loose strands. "How's the injuries? The after-effects of the poison didn't give you a hard time, right?"

She would have laughed if his face wasn't so innocently and completely astonished. "What? Did you _honestly_ think I didn't know that you were Cat-san?" She shook her head, pulling her feet from his lap and tugging on her sandals. "Give me more credit than that, Shisui-chan. I've had to run yearly checkups on all the shinobi in this village. I've seen your medical file."

She didn't have the pleasure to see Shisui embarrassed often since he was the embodiment of a cool cucumber, but she enjoyed it anyways.

"Sacchan. I wasn't just there to protect you." He stood up, shuffling awkwardly on his feet. With a roll of her eyes, she wrapped her arm around his and began their walk around the extensive gardens. Rows upon rows of flowers made the air sweet.

"You were there to evaluate me. To see if I was acceptable to join ANBU." He flinched at her bland words. "I failed, right?"

Shisui hated at how defeated and low her laugh was. He remembered the way her eyes were bright with tears when she was healing him and he couldn't tell if he was furious at all those people who made her feel that way, or mad at himself because he didn't have the right thing to say. He pulled them both to a stop, cradling her face in his hands, forcing her to look up at him.

"Let me train you." Her confusion was palpable, and he continued. "I know that you can easily just pass the Jōnin exams, but I want you to _demolish_ the exams."

His face was serious, and it made Sakura nervous. She had only seen him this serious one other time in the near decade that they've known each other. A serious Shisui meant _business_.

"Why?" She choked out.

"Because you don't deserve the shit my baby cousin puts you through. And because none of the Rookie Nine take you seriously." She pulled away, wrapping her arms around her body. She flinched when the sky exploded into a kaleidoscope of colors, and crowds outside the garden walls began oohing and aahing. "You have the talent to become an ANBU squad leader." Her frown creased the skin between her eyebrows, and he wanted to reach out and smooth it away.

"I….don't want to be an ANBU squad leader. I'm a… I'm a medic."

Another set of fireworks lit up the sky, painting his face red. "A medic that can punch through a mountain?"

The comment tugged a smile at the corners of her mouth. His hands cradled her face once more, forcing her to look up at him.

"Just give me the seven months until the exam, Sacchan," he pleaded and she belated thought about that Uchiha never pleaded. Those big puppy-dog eyes looked down at her and she felt her resolve chipping away with every stroke his thumb made across her cheek.

"Fuck. Fine." He lit up. " _Fine_. Seven months, Shisui-chan. But I'm _not_ joining ANBU."

He shrugged with a happy grin, pulling her against his chest to face another explosion of fireworks. "That's what you say now." His voice was in her ear, but she had some deep feeling that she just made a _huge_ mistake.

-x-

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A/N: I may or may not be on an inspiration streak?


	5. Excerpt I

Excerpt I

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* * *

-x-

He waved goodbye, watching the blonde whirlwind whisk his new protégé away from the Uchiha compound. Despite the various and insistent invitations from Mikoto about staying the night, Sacchan and Naruto insisted on heading back to the main village.

The slightest change in the air, Shisui clasped his newly appeared cousin on the shoulder as they watched the duo disappear.

"Do not even think about it," his best friend stated, voice tight.

Shisui laughed, squeezing his shoulder. "About what? She's my _student_ , Ita-chan." He let go and turned to stroll back into the house. "I won't take _your_ girl."

It wouldn't be until much later that night when Shisui sat up in his bed and looked down at his hands, the warmth and softness of her skin lingering and the feel of her body against his.

"Shit."

-x-

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:D


	6. Chapter 5

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* * *

"Shut up."

"…Ino."

"Oh my _GOD_."

"…it's not reall...-"

" _You billboard brow bitch._ "

Sakura groaned, burying her face in her hands, Hinata's hand rubbing soothing circles on her back. If the wall clock was correct, it had been exactly 37 minutes since Sakura told Ino that Shisui Uchiha had volunteered to train her for the upcoming Jōnin exams.

"No, _no_ , Hinata, don't comfort her!" Ino pointed a sharpened nail at Sakura. "You knew. You _knew_ I had the fucking hots for Shisui. I've wanted that man since I was eleven and now you've gone behind my back and _taken him from me._ "

Fed up and annoyed beyond belief, Sakura shot up, Hinata's hand fall to her side. "He's not a _possession_ , Pig. He's a human being and we're friends. You know we're just friends! He's literally just teaching me some new techniques for the Jōnin exams," Sakura threw her arms up in frustration. _What does she think we're doing? Fucking on the training field?_

Green and blue eyes stared each other down as the seconds ticked by. Hinata, unwillingly caught in the crossfire of her two best friends, nervously glanced between the two of them. A single spark would set the room on fire.

"…. you swear?"

Sakura scoffed, moving to rip a pale and slightly tattered red ribbon attached to her fireplace mantle and held it out before Ino. " _I swear._ "

Ino flickered between the ribbon and Sakura before she sunk back down to the living room table and lifted up her drink with a happy smile. "Good." Hinata let out an audible sigh of relief at the averted crisis and nursed her drink. Her best friends were as different as night and day and fought a lot over the most ridiculous things but this was the first time Hinata thought it might create irreparable damage to their friendship.

And it just _had_ to be over a boy.

"So why are you taking the Jōnin exams anyways? Literally none of the rookie nine are taking it." Ino asked, picking up her forgotten nail polish and starting on the nail she left off on.

Sakura sat down on the floor, stretching out her legs with her back against the couch where Hinata was curled up. The Hyuuga heiress fingers began to comb through Sakura's knots and tangles in her hair. She felt her stress melt away. "Tsunade-shishou said that four Jōnin and two ANBU put through recommendations for me to attend the exam." With her eyes sliding shut, she couldn't see Ino's raised eyebrow. "I think if they made me Jōnin, I can join the missions for Akatsuki hunting."

"That sounds dangerous, Sakura-san," Hinata murmured, beginning to plait a small section of the pink hair.

"Yeah, Forehead. You were a mess when you came back that one time. For all you know, Sasori could have been the weakest Akatsuki. You could die, Sakura."

Half-lidded green eyes peeked out. "We're _kunoichi_ , Ino. There's a chance we'll die on every mission we take." She could still feel the skeptical looks the two girls were giving her and she sighed loudly. "Look, I'm a _civilian's_ daughter. I don't automatically command respect like the renowned Hyuuga or Yamanaka clans. I must _work_ for their respect. The only thing I'm good at is chakra control and medical ninjutsu." She shrugged. "No one takes a pink-haired kunoichi seriously and I _want_ people to take me seriously."

Her voice dropped to a whisper. " _Shisui of the Body Flicker. Itachi of the Sharingan. Cold-Blooded Kakashi_. And what do I get? _Sakura the Shortcake Powerhouse_. That name doesn't stem from _respect_." Her laugh was wry and defeated and two sets of eyes softened. "I should be, shit I don't know, _Sakura of the Chakra Fist_ or _Sakura the Mountain Destroyer?_ "

The only sound left in the room was the ticking of the clock and soft breathing. Hinata and Ino knew they were advantaged, coming from clans with special abilities. It gave them an extra few steps forward that Sakura had to claw for. Plus being on a team with a Jinchuuriki and an Uchiha would make it hard to make it in a man's world anyways.

"Okay." The blonde whispered after a while. "Okay. You're right. Hinata and I will do whatever it takes to help you too."

The Hyuuga heiress nodded along. "You deserve recognition for your abilities too. You're not just _Tsunade number two_. You're _Sakura_."

A warmth spread through her chest at how supportive and loving her best friends were. Until...

"Besides, you're a cockroach since you're so damn hard to kill. Poison? Nope. Noxious gases? Definitely not. Sword to the stomach? Nada."

"... seriously, Ino?"

"Sakura, the Cockroach."

"Oh my god."

-x-

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A/N: Nearly 20 reviews in a day? I'm blown away. Thanks so much!

Also thank you for bringing ItaSakuShi to my attention. Because that's a ship I want to get on.

Maybe in this story or maybe in the next. Who knows?


	7. Chapter 6

-x-

* * *

"He's crashing! Get the paddles!"

"Charge to 200. Clear!"

"No response."

"Charge again to 200. Clear!"

"It's not working, Haruno-sama."

" _Shut up_. Charge to 300. Clear!"

"Nothing."

"Push one of epi and charge to 350!"

"But, Haruno-sama-…"

"SHUT UP. Charge! CLEAR!"

" _Enough! Please! He's my boy, my baby, please just let him go!_ "

Sakura's hands shook as she dumped the paddles back on to the cart, the steady flat-line filling the room with the mother's sobs. She licked her lips with a dry mouth and cleared her throat. "Time of death, 9:23 A.M." Turning on her heel, she fled the room and down the hall, ignoring the calling of her name by her nurses.

 _Seven year old boy presented with abnormal heart rhythms and S.O.B. Brought in by his mother after he took a softball to his chest. ECG concluded he had advanced stage congestive heart failure. Course of treatment, heart transplant while beginning palliative care. Survival rate: 15%._

Her fist connected with the stony concrete wall of the hospitals basement. With no chakra, she felt the bones of her knunckles grind together on impact, pain shooting up her wrists and forearm. And then she hit the wall again.

And again.

And again.

And _again_.

"Sakura-san?"

Her head shot up, meeting the concerned eyes of Itachi. Her bloodied and broken hand falling to the side. He was in full shinobi gear, dust on his shin guards. He held two coffees in his hand.

"Sakura-san, what are you doing?"

She wiped away the tears on her face with her good hand, leaning against the wall, beside her bloodied punching spot.

"What are you doing here, Itachi-san?" He took a step forward, setting down both coffees on a stray gurney pressed against the wall. He held his hands out, as if she were an abused dog and he wanted to get close. She laughed lowly. She probably looked it.

"I just got back into the village. Tsunade-sama said you were working a hospital shift today so I brought you some coffee."

His kindness made her stomach turn. She just lost her patient of two years and he was being so kind to her. She was a _failure_.

She shook her hair from her face. "Please leave, Itachi-san."

"You know I can't do that."

" _Leave_."

"Would you like to talk about it?"

Her fist connected with the wall again. The sound of her first metacarpals breaking echoed in the hallway. She commended him on not flinching. "Fight me."

His head tilted to the side and he crossed his arms. "Why?"

"Fight me, or leave so I can continue hitting this wall. Because a boy, a young boy, who has been my patient for two years died today. He was nine years old. Hasn't even started living his life yet. And he died. He died because I can't fix heart failure that advanced. He died because I couldn't fix him. He died because I am a failure as a medical nin." She raised her chin, fist dropping off the wall. "So, fight me Itachi because the pain I feel right _here_ ," she pressed her good hand to her chest, "is nothing compared to what _this_ ," she waved her broken hand in front of her, "feels like."

He sighed and nodded. "Okay. Come on." He held a hand out to her and she walked right past it. She couldn't bare to touch him like that. So familiar and intimate. She was a failure. Because this wasn't the first patient she lost. No, she was into the couple dozens now. Not because she couldn't diagnose and treat. No, it was because Tsunade always gave her hopeless cases. Cases that had less than 20% survival.

Maybe it was to toughen her up. Maybe it was to show her that life was short and weak. Or maybe it was to harden her that when war came and the dead began to pile up, she wouldn't agonize over a single nine year old boy on the field.

Sakura stood a few feet away from Itachi, tears burning in her eyes and yet he still looked so put together and collected and calm. He was waiting for her to make the first move.

And she moved.

The ground shattered and he jumped out of the way with her on his heels. She was at a disadvantage of only having one good hand, but she tucked away that pain and soreness away in the little box in the back of her head where she put the rest of the things that would ruin her if she dwelled on it.

He ran and she chased.

He dodged and she just kept striking.

It was a strange game of tag until time passed and she couldn't think straight. Had no more stamina, no more will. They stood chest to chest, her beating against his chest weakly with her good hand. Head against his shoulder and she cried. His arm came up and wrapped around her, stroking down her hair.

"It's not your fault."

She pulled back, stepping away but his grip on her shoulder prevented her from going too far. "What?"

His other hand came up and stroked away stray tears. "You did everything you could. There is a natural order to things and people die. You are the best medic this village has. The best medic of _any_ of the villages. You found a way to slow the blindness of the Sharingan. You can create an antidote to any poison that comes your way. You can perform surgeries on the field with nothing more than your hands and a bottle of water." He gripped her face and forced her to look at him. "Sakura, when will you see your own worth? Because I can spend every day telling you how good you are. I can spend every day being your punching bag when things get rough. But I want you to see you the way _I_ see you."

His eyes began to bleed to red, three tomoe spun wildly and the world dropped out beneath her.

* * *

-x-

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A/N: \o/


	8. Chapter 7

-x-

* * *

It was a woman's battle cry that caught his attention. There was something feral, something desperate about it that he had never heard before. It pricked at his ears, causing his fingers to twitch and his stomach clench. He had been in a lot of battles, fought many extraordinary shinobi. But none, not even one, ever sounded like _that_. A war god personified, ready to rip the world apart at the seams.

He just broke the treeline, balancing precariously on a thin branch, coming upon a canyon. Unnaturally made, jagged and shallow. The scent of wet, fresh dirt and blood stained the air. The remnants of what looked like an old building in shattered pieces against the rock face of Mount Rose. A bunker, he assumed, from the papers scattered across the dirt field.

The pink hair was unmistakable. And so was the glimmering of tears running down her face. A tantō stuck out of her body at an odd angle, bright red blood dripping off the sharpened tip to the ground. He traced the line of shattered body (puppet?) parts to the figure at the end of the field. The missing-nin's, (Sasori, his memory supplied) ripped Akatsuki cloak fluttered in the soft wind. Itachi's body jerked forward, instincts roaring for him to rush in there. Save the girl, kill the Missing-Nin, do his duty.

But it was the way she slowly pulled that tantō from her body without so much of a sob that held him in place. She wasn't ready to stop fighting yet, twisting the weapon around in her hand, crouching back into a defensive position. By the sweat dripping down her neck, he could tell this battle had been going on for some time already.

The few ANBU members that followed him all made movements to rush forward. Akatsuki were kill on sight. A med-nin like her had no chance at winning because she was just a med-nin, _just_ a kunoichi.

"She is the Hokage's apprentice," he snapped quietly. "Give her respect and just wait."

Sakura pressed her free hand to the wound, closing it off with a soft green glow. Itachi knew what she did was like putting a band-aid on a stab wound. Enough to hold off bleeding out for a few moments.

"My first test subject to my new strain of poison, you should be honored, woman." The Akatsuki called from across the field, pulling to bring his sword back. Sakura held tight, slamming her foot down on the chain, and shattering it. "You will die swiftly or bleed to death. It matters not which." Sasori shrugged indifferently.

Then she moved. Faster than Itachi thought she could, she hit the enemy at all angles, trying to find an opening. Any kind of opening. The minutes were ticking by, and she was receiving more hits back than she was giving. Her pace was slowing, and Itachi knew the poison was slowly killing her. Her qipao was beginning to bloom dark red from the wound.

Sasori began to resurrect all those broken puppet pieces around the field, controlling five to ten every moment. Every time she shattered a puppet, two more would appear in its place. They overwhelmed her in sheer number and even Itachi knew it was a losing battle. His fingers kept twitching for his weapons, but something inside him kept saying to wait.

Sakura's eyes were flickering between all the puppets, and Itachi knew that she figured out about the core. He felt proud that she had realized Sasori's weakness. Then she closed her eyes. Even Sasori stopped what he was doing because no sane shinobi closed their eyes on a battle field. The diadem on her forehead bled black and traced down her face in swirls and curves. Stark against the pale of her skin.

The Creation Rebirth technique.

Her tactic changed. She moved even faster than before, almost rivaling Shisui's body flicker. The puppets were shattering to nothing but dust with her fists, unable to revert to form again. Sasori's growl of annoyance meant that she was winning. The battlefield had changed to Sakura's favor, and Itachi wondered just why his little brother thought so little of the kunoichi.

Had Sasuke never seen her fight? Or rather fight like this?

Sasori wasn't done yet. Pulling a scroll from a compartment in his leg, he summoned four more puppets. Bigger and stronger than the ones before. They towered over Sakura, her hits doing nothing but rattling their joints.

Sakura flew back after a hit, moving to land on her feet, and Itachi watched with a turned stomach at the way her ankle seemed to buckle underneath her, the sharp snap of the ligaments tearing. She cried out and the ANBU beside him jerked forward.

" _Wait_."

They grabbed her, and held her down like a sacrifice, while she struggled and fought. Successfully shattering the hand of at least two of them. Sasori strolled forward, an air of superiority. "You fought hard, but not hard enough. I will consider your dea-…" His eyes went wide, his hand clutching at his chest before he whipped around.

Hidden in the far tree line was another puppet that held his core, a clone of Sakura shoving the tantō through it's chest.

"How did y-…" The four puppets fell to the ground like piles of wood, and Sasori fell to one knee. There was a rattling in his chest as he breathed. Sakura got up, limping across the field, favoring her right leg and pulling a second tantō from her hip. She didn't say a thing when she chopped off Sasori's head from his puppet body. Simply held his head in front of her face, watching the life drain from him.

Her clone dissipated and Sakura turned.

She was filthy and bruised, tears still wet on her cheeks. The diadem had faded back into the pale purple mark in the middle of her forehead. Her hair was matted and hung limply around her. Her new wounds were bleeding sluggishly, as she tucked her weapon back into her hip holster. She began her slow limping walk back to Konoha, stopping just long enough to grab a backpack propped up against a tree.

He signaled for his team members to move on without him, and he would catch up. It took them all a moment to move, still in awe of the battle they witnessed. Akatsuki had high bounties on their heads, not just because they fled their village, but because they each held powerful and dangerous techniques. Battles have been fought with the Akatsuki for years. Decades, nearly. And the first person to successfully take one down was a kunoichi from Team Seven.

The infamous Team Seven.

She had a fought a hard battle and came out victorious. And with that single battle, it had completed changed his view of her. He once thought she was just a pretty, nervous girl in a bar that couldn't meet his eyes. But now?

Itachi thought he had never seen such a fine shinobi. Even looking like that, she still looked beautiful and fearsome. And he felt guilty, that for a moment, he had doubted her. Believed his brother's words that she was 'just a girl with no business on a battlefield'. Believed his teammates comments that she was just a med-nin. Believed the way the village seemed to cast her aside for her more successful teammates.

So he burned that scene in his mind.

With the setting sun at her back, a petite kunoichi covered in blood and dirt. A decapitated head gripped tightly by the hair in one hand, backpack on her shoulders, and tantō swinging on her hip. Pale skin peaked through the tattered remains of her qipao, the slow shuffling walk of a favored right ankle. Pride and victory rolling off her in waves.

She was his war god.

-x-

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A/N: Pick an excuse and it'll probably be why I haven't updated this story in a while.

Sorry for the wait.

Thank you for the love.


	9. Chapter 8

-x-

* * *

Blackness was creeping into the corner of her eyes, her vision blurring. Her lungs felt like they were on fire, her chest wheezing with every breath. Her quivering thighs refused to hold her up, and her right knee went careening straight into shale rock and dirt.

"Get up." Shisui commanded, standing feet away with his arms crossed. His eyes were dark and cold as they glared down at her. She opened her mouth to plead with him that she couldn't do it anymore, only a groaning wheeze came out and the Uchiha tch'd.

"I said _get up_." His voice was even colder than before, cutting through the haze. She stood up on her shaking thighs like a new-born deer, gripping her tantō tightly in her right hand, assuming her defensive position. Then he attacked. She realized that it wasn't a joke when he was named Shisui of the Body Flicker. He appeared and disappeared instantly all around her, her weapon catching nothing but air when she was sure there would have been a person. 80% of each hit he gave connecting with her skin, causing her to grit her teeth. Even if he was using the dull side of the blade, it still hurt to get tagged.

"Is this it? The extent of your abilities?" He sneered, backing off a few feet to glare down at her. While she was soaked in sweat, dirt and a little bit of blood from a stray elbow to her face, Shisui looked pristine and clean and immensely annoyed.

Her reserves were getting low, and the blackness was creeping in again.

 _Less than thirty seconds before I pass out._

Shisui must have seen the change in her body stance, as he came at her again. Using a last flare of strength, she connected her tantō to the side of his abdomen with rotation assisted force, but his weapon struck her firmly on the back of the neck and her world faded out.

* * *

-x-

* * *

She awoke to the sound of the soft breeze rustling the leaves of the trees, and the sound of kunai connecting. She groaned, lifting a jelly-weak arm to rub at her eyes. "Welcome back, Sacchan," Shisui's warm voice murmured. Her head was nestled comfortably in his lap, his fingers weaving out knots in her short hair. She greedily accepted the canteen of cold, cold water he held out of her. She chugged it down so fast, it slipped from the corners of her mouth, down her cheeks and neck.

Shisui was relaxed against a tall, shady oak tree. Tilting her head back, Sakura noticed another figure to Shisui's other side.

"...Naruto?"

Bathed in the setting sun light, the boy grinned brightly before it morphed into a pout. "Sakura-cha-a-a-n! It's Team Bonding day. Why're you spending it with Sasuke-teme's cousin instead?"

Sakura laughed, stopping to cough and sit up. Shisui's hand was warm against her back as he held her up. Taking another drink of the water, she playfully glared at Shisui. "Because my _sensei_ is a sadist that wants me to fight till the bitter end every day." She looked out at the training field and frowned. "Why is Sasuke fighting Itachi-san?"

Naruto jumped up, waving his hand. "Oh-oh! It's 'cause Sasuke-teme found out about you gettin' special training from Shisui and got super jealous and went up to Itachi and was like 'give me special training! I fought an Akatsuki too!'"

Sakura's twinkling laugh echoed throughout the field, Itachi's gaze flicking from his little brother to her. "We..." Sakura giggled. "We were twelve, and the best we did was throw a couple kunai at him." She tried to keep a straight face but broke down again. "I'm pretty sure I cried the entire time and you went off spouting that Sasuke was _our_ precious team member and Orochimaru couldn't have him."

The infamous third part of the Sannin had in fact interrupted the Chūnin exams, looking for Sasuke as a new test subject for medical practices. The Sharingan was a powerful tool, but there were only a few members within the clan that could bring out it's true potential. Sasuke being one of them, having awakened it at a young age. Orochimaru was disgustingly interested in the young boy and wanted nothing more than to tear him apart and find out how he worked.

Naruto grinned, rubbing at the back of his neck, a faint blush creeping up his neck. "Are you hungry, Sakura-chan?" He asked, deflecting off his attachment issues.

"Mikoto-sama invited us for dinner tonight, if you were interested," Shisui commented, tucking his canteen back to his pouch and standing up. Dressed in just a t-shirt and standard issue shinobi pants, his stomach peaked through when he stretched his arms above his head. Sakura swallowed down a blush and looked away.

"I'm not really dressed for an Uchiha dinner party right now." She cleared her throat, standing up slowly, using the tree as support. "I just want to go home, take a shower and sleep." She barely took a step forward when her leg buckled. An arm wrapped itself around her waist with a sigh.

"Shisui, was pushing her to the point where she can no longer stand by herself really necessary?" Itachi scolded, tightening his grip on her waist, her back flush against his chest. This time, she did blush, refusing to look at the Uchiha heir. Ever since that day three weeks ago when he let her into his memories, she hadn't been able to look at him in the face.

She thought she was alone that day. That when she cried and threw up against a tree on the way back home was just for her alone. But nope, he was there. Watching, and following her.

"A-ah," Shisui laughed sheepishly with a grin. "She's really good at fighting, and honestly she can get kinda scary sometimes. I forget we're just training." He lifted up the hem of his shirt, displaying a large black bruise extending from his ribs to across his stomach. "If it makes you feel better, she got me really good with that last hit."

Itachi leveled his cousin with a cool gaze. "It does."

"I-Itachi...-san... you can let me... go now..." Sakura said hesitantly, as his grip loosened and slipped from around her waist, his touch lingering. She straightened out the simple high neck tank top she wore, glancing down at her body. Besides being covered in the standard dirt, she also had criss-cross bruises marring her skin like lattice. Even if her body was screaming at her, she didn't want to heal it with her ninjutsu.

Sasuke made his way across the empty field to their little gathering, a quick glance at Sakura before ignoring her. _Ah, nothing ever changes._

 _"_ Let's go, dobe. I'm hungry," was his only comment before he turned his heel and left the field, a trailing blonde whirlwind rushing after him. Itachi's face darkened before he sighed.

Sakura held up a hand and shook her head. "Don't worry about it. He can ignore me if he wants, but that doesn't mean I'll go away." She grinned mischievously. "Plus, I heard he's trying out for the Jōnin exams. What's a little friendly competition?"

An arm slung itself over her shoulder. "I'm _way_ stronger than Ita-chan, and a better teacher. Obviously, you'll pass." Shisui guided her to start walking, looking back to stick out a tongue at his younger cousin. "Now I'm super duper hungry so let's _eat_!"

-x-

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A/N: Inspiration came back, so here you go. (:


	10. Chapter 9

-x-

* * *

Sakura stepped out of the bath, rubbing a big fluffy towel over her damp hair, skin flushed and pink. Every bit of soreness she had was whisked away and she couldn't remember the last time she felt so untroubled. She and the boys had barely passed through the front door of the Uchiha household, when Mikoto all but threw Sakura into the master bathroom, _insisting_ she relax and take her time to wash up before turning around to scold Shisui.

Master bath was an extreme understatement. It was nearly as big as her entire apartment. A private onsen with running hot water pulled deep from the ground, complete with aesthetic succulents, bamboo and polished rock. It took everything Sakura had to leave that bath.

 _I wonder if I can convince Mikoto-san to let me use it again?_

She scrutinized herself in the mirror after putting on a fresh yellow sundress Mikoto left out for her to wear while her clothes got washed. The straps were thin, the chest was a little tight, but the skirt billowed out nicely. Doing a little spin in the mirror, she grimaced at how completely covered her skin was in bruises. She really did look like a lattice fence. But knowing she got that solid hit on Shisui made it all worth it. It was only the second time she managed to catch him in the weeks of training they had done already.

Leaving the bathroom, she wandered down the halls of the expansive, traditional Japanese house following the voices, bare feet soft against the hardwood. Since it was a beautiful late summer day, Mikoto decided to hold the dinner in the garden. Sakura stepped through the porch doors, breathing in the sweet air of flowers, slipping on a pair of sandals left out for her. This garden really was her favorite place in the world. It was also backed by a forest, which made it feel more intimate, like a private world.

"Ah, Sakura-chan!" Mikoto called happily, setting down the dish of _unagi_. "You look refreshed. I'm so glad the dress fits you."

Sakura smiled shyly, noticing Shisui and Itachi stopped their movements of setting up the plates to gaze at her. "Thank you, Mikoto-san. I'll wash it and return it to you as soon as possible." All the boys had changed clothes too, opting to relax in yukata's instead of training gear. What surprised her most is that they managed to wrangle Naruto into one that was a dark grey.

 _Do they even make male yukata's in bright orange?_

The matriarch waved her comment away with a bright smile. "Keep it. It's been hanging in my closet for so long, I'm just happy it can see the light of day again." Gesturing to the six chairs set up around the large round table, she patted one. "Come, sit down. I made lots of food."

Sakura took her seat, eyeing the buffet of dishes. Most of them were traditional summer food, light and cold, easy to eat. Along with many desert plates of watermelon and dango. "Enough to feed an _army_ , Mikoto-san." She smothered her laugh with a hand.

Naruto bounded in, snagging the free spot to her right, dango stick sticking out of his mouth. "That's 'cause Sakura-chan is'a one-man wrecking team all herself!"

"Naruto!" Sakura scolded, pulling the stick out. "You're going to spoil your appetite."

He shrugged, pointing to the youngest Uchiha balancing a tray of green tea to bring to the table. "Sasuke-teme already had like _four_."

An uncomfortable silence followed, and Sakura cleared her throat, taking a cup of tea off the tray Sasuke brought around. The atmosphere changed when Mikoto finally got everyone sitting around the table and raised her teacup.

"Thank you all for indulging this old widow's wishes of having a large family dinner again. Nothing makes me happier."

Sakura swallowed down the tears burning at her eyes. She was there the day, four years ago, when Fugaku Uchiha was announced KIA. Normally the Uchiha head had no business attending missions, but a rumor that there was a man that wasn't Uchiha blood that wielded the Sharingan had caught his attention. A protective and proud leader, Fugaku took the matters of his clan's dōjutsu kekkai genkai seriously.

It ended with a false rumor, made to lure an Uchiha from their den. Four Jōnin level shinobi were slaughtered, and Fugaku was found with his eyes slashed, self-inflicted. The reports say that they were over-whelmed. Fugaku was the only Sharingan user in the group but could not hold his own against the 30-odd hunter-nin Orochimaru had paid to take the Uchiha clan head down.

It still ended with Orochimaru's loss.

"Sacchan?"

Her head snapped up, noticing five pairs of eyes on her, ranging from curious to concerned. "Sorry, I was, uh... daydreaming."

Shisui snickered, setting down his chopsticks. "Mikoto-sama asked how work at the hospital was going."

Heat flushed up her neck, into her cheeks. Taking a sip of her tea to hide her embarrassment, she replied. "It's good. My days are really full of hospital work from sunrise to late-afternoon, then training with Shisui-chan. Tsunade-shishou has been trying to ease my workload as a Chief Medic, so I mainly do paperwork and conduct Jōnin and ANBU check-ups."

"Ah!" Mikoto clapped her hands. "Sasuke said he was taking the Jōnin exams too. I'll have to prepare a big meal to congratulate you two for passing!" Sakura tried not to flinch. She wasn't sure if Mikoto knew about the tension between her and Sasuke. It had been going on for a couple months now, and it wasn't like they were always close. But she noticed the way Mikoto's eyes seemed to sharpened as she glanced over at her youngest son. It was times like this Sakura completely forgot that Mikoto was once was a renowned Jōnin in her youth.

" _E-e-eh-h-h!_ You're so confident that Sasuke-teme is gonna to pass, Miko-chan!" Naruto said, swinging his legs back and forth, pushing around cold noodles on his plate. Sakura bit down a grin every time Naruto said 'Miko-chan', watching Sasuke's eye twitch.

The matriarch cocked her head to the side, but it was Sasuke that spoke instead.

"We'll pass." His dark eyes locked on Sakura, and she couldn't decode the look he was giving her. It didn't make her skin itch, or her stomach drop. She frowned. She had become familiar with small tells in his body language. Since he never used his words, she had to learn his language. "Afterwards, Sakura and I will have a match."

The empty teacup in her hand clattered back down to the table. " _Eh?!_ "

"Ita-chan and I thought it would be the best way to blow off the steam between you two." Shisui mentioned with a toothy grin, looking entirely too pleased with himself. "I put _a-a-all_ my money on you, Sacchan!" He leaned in close, whispering so only she could hear. "Ita-chan did too, but don't tell Sasuke-chan that."

This time her stomach did drop, looking into the clearly competitive eyes of Sasuke Uchiha, child prodigy. She could see it now, her body splayed out on the training field like a sacrifice. Beaten within minutes of the start, and his stupid cocky grin as he looked down at her, mocking her. ' _Useless as always, Sakura._ '

Her eyes slid from Sasuke to his older brother, who nodded minutely at her. Then she remembered.

 _"Everything I showed you in that memory is true." Itachi slowly loosened his grip around her shoulders, as her head spun. Only a few moments had passed in the real world, but it had been many hours in the memory. It was disorientating. "The Sharingan cannot lie and I believe that you can become greater than your team." His smile was warm, and rushed right through her, making her skin prickle with goosebumps. "So train hard, and fight harder. I'll be waiting at the finish line."_

Sakura straightened her back, staring Sasuke down across the table with a trademark Shisui smirk. "Better prepare to have your ass kicked, _Sasuke-chan._ "

Naruto inhaled sharply. "Sakura-chan! _Language_!"

-x-

* * *

A/N: When I first started this, I didn't think it would become this popular. My highest subscribed story with highest review count. You make me all so happy, thank you for your support!


	11. Chapter 10

-x-

* * *

The bar went up in a cheer the moment she stepped through the sliding doors an hour later than the planned meet time. It was rare for the entire Konoha 12 to see each other. Which is why a decision was made to plan meet-ups every few months, coordinating in-between missions. They had all grown up together, and worked numerous missions, including the infamous _Gennō_ incident. It also helped that six of them were the young heirs of the Konoha clans, which made keeping relations and connections strong very important.

 _"Cockroach!"_

Sakura held down a shudder of anger. Knowing good and well that Ino told the entire group about the ridiculous nickname.

"Ino, I am going to _murder_ you," she seethed, approaching the extended low-rise table and taking her seat between the blonde and Hinata, adjusting the dark-grey patterned romper around her thighs, the cushion soft against her skin. The table was piled high in empty glasses, half-eaten food and menu's buried underneath napkins and plates.

"No-o-o!" Ino slurred, leaning into her side and fluttering her eyelashes innocently. A thing Ino did when she knew she did something bad. "E'ryone _loves_ it, they think it's so perfect for you!" The scent of tequila on her breath was strong, and by the looks of it, the entire table had dipped into more than a few shots.

"It's the best name I've heard for you, Sakura." Tenten grinned across the table, pushing shot glasses over, the clear liquid slipping from the sides. "These are the rounds you missed. Drink up."

Sakura's nose winkled immediately, a protest on her lips before a building chant of _'Shot! Shot! Shot_!' started. _Peer pressure_ , Sakura thought bitterly, quickly taking down the four shots so she didn't have to taste it. But it still burned all the way down. She slammed the last one down to a full-table cheer. A distant roar of ' _Little Pink_ ' was the only warning she had before a mass of black flew at her, pulling her off her cushion and into warm arms, a scruffy chin rubbing against her cheek. "Missed ya, pink." Kiba's chest rumbled in the semblance of a purr, as he situated himself on her seat, tucking her neatly between his legs.

She had brought Akamaru back from the threshold of death after a mission gone wrong a few years ago. The ninken had taken it upon himself to protect Kiba from a deadly attack, using his body to take the blunt of the poisoned weapons especially designed to take out animals. It was the hardest poison she ever had to create an antidote for. But ever since then, Kiba had inducted her into his pack. A high honor that only a handful of non-clan members had in the history of Inuzuka.

But being pack also meant having to deal with pack laws. _Specifically_ having to deal with a drunk and affectionate Kiba scent-marking her every time they were apart for weeks or months.

She locked eyes with Shikamaru a few seats down from her, pleading for him to help her. Yet all he did was give a subtle shrug and go back to his drink and conversation with Naruto. _Not my problem_ , he was saying.

Her eyes narrowed. His yearly examination was coming up, and she decided that coincidentally, all his shots needed updating. All fifteen of them.

 _Dick._

"But like can you even _imagine_ Sakura being a Jōnin?" Ino's giggling and comment bringing focus to her, the tables new main conversation.

"Why would you go for the Jōnin exams?" Shikamaru drawled, fingers slowly ripping apart the label on his beer bottle. "Do you know how much work you have to do to prepare for them?" He glanced over at Neji. "He had been training for _years_ to take that exam."

Sakura couldn't help but bristle at the low-key insult, Kiba whining in her ear at the change of her body language. "Yeah, I understand that I've only been training a few months now, but that doesn't mean I'm not serious about this. I _want_ to do this. If I fail, fine but at least I tried."

"Sakura, he was the _only one_ out of thirty _experienced_ Chūnin that passed, many of which had already taken the exam before. The exam _itself_ has a 10% rate of successful completion." Shikamaru stressed, pushing aside the beer bottle, his hands clasped in front of him, staring her down. She felt her face begin to burn in... shame? Embarrassment?

Her fists were squeezed tight, pressed against her thighs under the table. "I _get it_ , Shikamaru. But how the hell am I supposed to get better if I don't push myself? If I don't put myself in situations that force me to go beyond my limits?"

She looked around the table, trying to meet a single pair of eyes that didn't look at her in pity. She counted four. Sasuke, quiet as ever at the end of the table, was more determination to beat her since she was beginning to prove she was a threat. Chōji, who was way too busy stuffing down chicken wings. Rock Lee, in a rare moment of drunken stupor, has barely put together that she was even there. And surprisingly, the last was Neji. If she was reading it right, she saw approval in his eyes.

All she wanted to do was stand up and yell that she was a shinobi too. That she was _good_ at what she did. She was a good healer. She was a good fighter. She took down a fucking _Akatsuki_. But even that couldn't win over their respect. She wanted to scream that she was worthy.

Naruto, either oblivious or in a rare moment of awareness, managed to move the conversation away from the Jōnin exams, pulling the focus away from her. She relaxed her hands, her body melting back into Kiba's chest like a string that had been cut. The only semblance of comfort she got was Hinata's hand softly on hers with a squeeze. _It's alright_ , it said. _You can do it._

* * *

-x-

* * *

An hour later, she managed to extract herself from Kiba's iron-hard grip to take a step outside, the cooler air like heaven compared to Kiba's higher than average body heat. Her head was fuzzy from the alcohol, the sweetest buzz underneath her skin.

"I can help you prepare," Neji commented, stepping out and leaning against the outside wall, hands crossed in front of his body in a more casual manner than she'd ever seen him. Clearly having Shikamaru as a best friend was rubbing off on him.

Sakura raised an eyebrow, and let out a breath. "Didn't peg you as the one to offer help to anyone."

A furrow appeared between his brow, and she could tell he was caught between a snappy response and a truthful answer. It had taken a while, but the uptight Neji of their youth that only crowed about destiny and fate from birth had finally disappeared, leaving a mature, serious and more aware adult in his place.

"I appreciate drive and resilience. Out of everyone else, you are the only one pushing yourself."

She shrugged, leaning against the wall beside him. "Sasuke's taking the exams. I'm pretty sure Naruto is going to take them too just because Sasuke is."

Her comment didn't seem to concern him. "Being clan heirs has put them in a sense of complacency. They know they will lead their clans when the time comes. So they don't feel the need to push themselves, and take the Jōnin exams or work harder than they need to. Konoha is in a peaceful era, but when that changes, it's only going to be shinobi like you or I that will be the last ones standing." She noticed the way his gaze seemed to run from her sandal-clad feet to the top of her messy-bun hair. "I will be honest with you, Sakura-san. You were the last one I expected to take the exams."

Sakura's laugh was sardonic and bitter. "Yeah, that's what everyone says. Kind of pisses me off, actually." She turned to lean her shoulder against the wall to face him. "I was kind of... pushed into taking the exams. I had thought about taking it after the Sasori incident, but my sensei was the one who made me realize that taking the exam is the only way I can break free of my birdcage."

"Which ANBU member do you have training you?"

She frowned, crossing her arms. "How did you know it's an ANBU training me?"

His laugh was quick, and short, like it slipped out. "You carry yourself differently now. I can see that you are more aware."

Her head cocked to the side, trying to think back to her training. She didn't feel any different, and figured her training was just a way for Shisui to beat her body into submission before building her back up. "Have you been watching me, Neji-san?"

Pale eyes slid from the crowd to her, sharp and analyzing that made her stomach clench. "Only the ones worth my attention." He cleared his throat, pulling off the wall, placing a hand lightly on her forearm. "I have been meaning to speak to you about something… sensitive. But I have never found the right moment to do it." His voice dropped, leaning in closer. His breath was sweet from the wine he drank, and his skin was burning hot where he touched her. The look he gave her made her nervous, cutting through her buzz. "Procreation is… important to my family… and the Hyūga clan only looks for the strongest women to bind themselves to."

 _Oh please god, don't say what I think you're saying._

"I am getting older, and my family has been pushing me to secure my future."

 _Don't say it!_

"Sakura, I would like to formally ask you to consider being my-"

"Sakura-san?"

 _Thank the **fucking** gods._

Sakura turned to smile at the two approaching figures. "Itachi-san, Shisui-chan! What are you two doing here?"

Both pair of dark eyes flickered from Neji's hand still on Sakura's arm to her face. No doubt they could see the strained notes in her face, and the overly forced bright smile. Itachi's eyebrows flickered in the ghost of a frown.

"Hope we're not interrupting anything."

Neji was slow to get her go, pulling himself up as tall as he could to look down at them. Which was hard since they both had at least two inches on him.

"Uchiha." His voice was terse and clipped.

"Evenin', Hyūga." Shisui grinned, basking in Neji's hostility. It was fairly common knowledge that Hyūga and Uchiha never got along. Both having superior Dōjutsu kekkai genaki. It was hard to figure out where one excelled more than the other, which led to a lot of rivalry. "We are just in the area. Having a night out?"

Sakura narrowed her eyes, analyzing their still dusty training pants, to the faint scent of sweat on their skin. The only training field around here was at least a half hour walk, less if they ran. Since this was a dive bar, it was situated in the outskirts of Konoha, near the slums. Hardly any shinobi just ' _passed by_ '.

Quick eyes analyzed the crowd, before landing on a single black crow nestled on top of the bar over-hang. It disappeared quickly in a cloud of smoke.

"Yes, it's the Konoha 12 gathering," Sakura replied, taking as subtle step away from Neji as she could. When Itachi's eyes snapped to her, she cursed herself for not being more stealthy. She cleared her throat. "I was actually just about to head back inside. Care to join us for a drink? Unless you're busy."

Neji began to protest, but it was silenced by Shisui's enthusiastic yes, wrapping a protective arm around her shoulders, making sure that at least one of the two Uchiha stayed between her and the Hyūga.

The party was still in full swing by the time they got back inside, the roar of laughter overtaking any other sound in the bar. Lucky for them, it was only a few regulars who were used to their loud gatherings and didn't mind. Sakura easily slid back into her spot, the two Uchiha sandwiching her on either side. With everyone as drunk as they were, it was easy to make room.

Even Ino didn't realize her six-year-long crush was pressed up against her.

"The _fuck_ are you doing here."

Until Sasuke's scathing comment brought conversation to a halt, all pairs of eyes landing on them.

Ino, half tequila, turned a blurry gaze to the new arrival. "S-shish... Ussha?"

He grinned. "Close enough, what's up Yamanaka."

Hinata, formal even when four wine glasses deep, gave a short bow. "Good evening. Has training with Sakura-san been going well?"

"WHAT?!" Kiba's scandalized yell cut in before either Uchiha could answer. "They're the ones training you?!" He shot up, wobbling slightly and began to stumbling around the low table to her. Sakura, taking a rolled up ball of ripped up beer bottle label, flicked it hard at him. It was a perfect shot to the middle of his forehead.

"Sit down."

"But!"

" _Sit!_ " She snapped. Kiba whined, slouching back down in between Shikamaru and Shino, both who looked thoroughly annoyed at having to babysit the drunk dog.

He pouted, reaching out an arm across the table that barely reached her. "I woulda trained ya if you asked, yer my pack, little pink." He wiggled his fingers pathetically, like a child wanting a treat. She rolled her eyes.

Shisui's snickered, sliding a shot glass from the middle of the table to him. "How long have you been an Inuzuka, Sacchan? You didn't bother to tell your beloved sensei you got married?" He nudged her with a pointed gaze to Itachi. "Look, poor Ita-chan is beside himself in agony."

Her fist found his arm in a not so gentle hit and she closed her eyes and prayed to the Gods for strength. Between Kiba's incessant whining, Neji's burning gaze, Sasuke's seething grumblings, Shisui's teasing and Itachi's subtle warning glances at both the Hyūga and Inuzuka, she was caught in the crossfire and it was _not_ looking good for her.

Unfortunately for her, she made the mistake of looking to Tenten who winked at her with a wicked grin, mouthing the word 'harem'.

 _That's it, s_ he thought. _All you fuckers are getting your shots updated._

* * *

-x-

* * *

It was nearly midnight when she tapped out, convincing Shisui to take Ino home. Even after cutting her off two hours ago, and feeding her nothing but water and bread, the poor girl was still more drunk than Sakura had ever seen her. With a promise to repay him in breakfast, Sakura watched Shisui carry the blonde on his back through the darkened streets.

Itachi's hand was soft on her elbow, bringing her attention back to him. "I'll walk you home." She smiled in thanks, wrapping her arm around his. They walked slow through the winding streets, the moon the only source of light in between the sporadic street lights. It was like their own little world, with the abandoned streets and almost eerily quiet atmosphere.

"You never did tell me you were part of the Inuzuka pack," Itachi said casually, dark eyes flickering from the street to her. She flushed under his gaze, unconsciously tightening her grip on his arm.

Clearing her throat, she laughed. "Not in the way you think, Itachi-san. I saved Akamaru a long time ago, and Kiba found it the only way to repay me. He's even offered me one of the pups from their litter. I don't know how to raise a ninken, but Kiba said the offer is always open if I ever change my mind."

Silence followed, and Sakura wondered if Itachi was upset about it. All night Kiba kept trying to get his hands on her, cuddle into her like pack does. "It's um, not romantic," she said quietly. "The cuddling, and attention, I mean. Kiba looks at me like a pack-mate. There's no romantic love between us."

Her face began to burn as she realized she was beginning to ramble.

"And... the Hyūga. Is there any love there?"

Feet stuttering, she pulled them both to a sharp stop. "No." She looked up at him, the alcohol in her veins making her brave. She stared him down, her grip tight on his arm. "He was going to ask me to join his clan, and be his wife. I never got a chance to answer, but my answer is no."

His jaw clenched, before he let out a breath of air. "It wouldn't be a bad decision, to consider being the wife of a Hyūga. They are a respectable clan. He is also not in line to be a clan head, the responsibilities of being his wife would be less arduous than if he was."

She knew what he was saying. Being the wife of a clan head came with a plethora of responsibilities and duties. A clan head wife must always be presentable, kind, courteous, well-versed, political and strong. Must give up her position as a shinobi to take care of her husband, bare his children, care for his clan. But being the wife of a branch member would give her more freedom to pursue her goals, her career and duty.

 _If you were to ever marry me, you would have to sacrifice everything you are._

"... is that what you think I should do, Itachi-san?" She slowly let go of his arm, already missing the warmth of his skin. She felt the burn of tears in her eyes, a furrow appearing between his eyebrows. The alcohol was making her more emotional than usual. "Whoever I decide to marry, clan head or not, will _never_ ask me to give up who I am. We would make sacrifices together, but he would never cage me into being the submissive housewife." She took a step back, raising her chin. "I thought you, of all people, would understand that." She sniffed, clearing her throat. "Good night, Uchiha-san."

She turned her heel and left. Her heart aching every step she took away from him, especially when she didn't hear him follow her. She couldn't even bring herself to look back.

But if she did, she would see him still standing there, long after she left the area. Jaw terse, eyes hard, fists clenched so tight blood dripped to the dirt, an apology on his lips.

* * *

A/N: And I'm back. Y'all. College takes up most of my time these days, so thank you for the patience and the love.

ALSO thank you so much for the reviews. I read every single one, and they make me feel good. Each and every one of you is so amazing!

Drop a review on the way out!

Also just gonna say. No one's perfect. Not even the Shinobi GOD, Itachi Uchiha.

We're all mortal, we all got faults.


	12. Excerpt II

-x-

* * *

Shisui swore, in a rare moment of seriousness that Itachi had only seen a few times in their friendship. "Why would you say something like that?" The older cousin paced the living room of the small home, one hand rubbing down his face with a sigh. It was late, nearing two in the morning. Shisui had come home to find his younger cousin dipping into his sake. "You know she likes you. You like her. So why the _fuck_ would you suggest she _marry_ a fucking _Hyūga_?"

Itachi twirled the pale colored alcohol in his ceramic cup before taking it down in a gulp and putting it back down on the living room table. "I don't know, I didn't think."

"You didn't think?" Shisui said incredulously, stopping to gawk at him. "You, child prodigy and future clan leader didn't _think_? The fuck is wrong with you, Itachi?"

" _Enough_ , Shisui."

"No. Because you don't get it." Shisui collapsed into the couch, resting his forearms on his legs, staring his younger cousin down with sharpened eyes. Growing anger building up under his skin. "She _likes_ you. Genuinely and truly likes _you_. She's not after your position, or your abilities. She likes you as a person, a human being. And _you_ ," he pointed with a finger. "you went and told her that you would make her sacrifice everything she's clawed for, just so she could pop out your kids. You suggested that if she were to accept the Hyūga's advances, it would be the only way she could keep doing what she loves and still have a good husband and a good family."

Itachi leaned back, running a hand down his face. "I didn't mean it like that. I was… jealous. I see the way the clan heirs look at her. She's a beautiful woman. She has so much potential and ability with the Hokage's blessing and…"

"They're actively going out and pursuing her, instead of sitting here moping about it."

Itachi glared, eyes threatening to bleed to red. "Watch it, Shisui."

"Why are you doing this?"

"I saw how much my mother, an accomplished and respected Jōnin in her prime, had to sacrifice. Being my father's wife. She was top of her class, immediately sought after in ANBU after her Jōnin graduation. And my father convinced her to give all that up to be a housewife." He let out the breath he was holding, pouring himself and Shisui another glass of sake. "I can't ask Sakura-san to do that for me."

Shisui cocked his head, taking the cup in his hands. "But you wouldn't ask her to do that. You would bend the rules of the clan so that she could still be Jōnin, and ANBU team leader, and still be your wife."

Itachi kept swirling the sake around, many different answers on the tip of his tongue. "I am unsure if it is even possible. I would rather not risk her bright future for an unsure one."

"Un-…unsure?" Shisui tossed the empty cup down with force, causing it to crack, and gathered up his jacket, slipping on his shoes. "Fuck, Itachi. You're an idiot. You haven't even talked to her about it. You're deciding for her. You're going to be the Clan Head, you _make_ the rules." He paused with one hand on the door, looking back at his younger cousin in contempt. "If you don't want her, then I'll take her for myself."

* * *

A/N: uh... ya. This happened.

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You're welcome.


	13. Chapter 11

-x-

* * *

"Sasuke, _duck_!"

The boy dropped to the floor, kunai flying over his head to embed themselves into the wood before he let loose his own, dropping down the offender. Sakura's fist drove into the ground, cracking it open, and swallowing up a hunter-nin.

It was mid-autumn when Team Seven was contracted to escort the Fire Daimyo's family from the main civilian village near the border of the Land of Storms to Ta Island, just north of the Land of Tea. A two-week adventure. The Daimyo's family vacationed often in the south to escape the cold winter. This was the second time they've had to escort them, and it always proved to be a fight.

Somehow word always got out about the Daimyo's family being moved, despite date changes and false information leaked. Bandits, hunter-nin's and missing-nins often came around looking for a quick and easy way at a very expensive ransom they could rack up with the wife and three kids.

But this time… the bandits came _prepared_. An entourage of at least twenty high-rank contracted missing-nins ready to take Team Seven down.

Naruto had his hands full with his shadow-clones keeping them from Sakura's back. Sasuke was in front, sharingan spinning wildly as shuriken and kunai found their marks in their bodies. It was Sakura's responsibility to stay with the family, keeping herself in front of them at all times. She was restricted and found she couldn't let loose her full abilities, especially her newly learned techniques, with civilians in her care.

Four bandits broke through the defense and came straight for Sakura. She grinned, crouching down and ready to take them down and _finally_ get some action until another body flew in and within seconds, they were dead.

She blinked, looking around, watching the bandits and hunter-nin drop like flies under the extraordinary abilities of the stranger. A woman, Sakura deduced, from the voluptuous curves that she was never blessed with.

"What the f-…" Sasuke swore when his targets were dead before he could deal the killing blow, narrowing his eyes before they widened. He tch'd. "What the fuck are you doing here, Izumi."

The figure finally stopped, pulling down her hood. Thick waves of shiny dark brown hair spilled out around the high-collared purple shirt. The Uchiha clan marking on her back bright, prominent and proud. Various weapon pouches attached to her thighs. "Sasuke-kun!" She exclaimed, voice airy and light, wrapping her arms around him and squeezing him. He grunted in surprise.

Naruto came to stand beside Sakura and they both shared a look. _Fangirl?_ It wouldn't the first time they had to deal with one. Ever since the Chūnin exams, there was whispers about a group of girls chasing after the stoic prodigy. Throughout the years, they had to fend off more than a few fanatics that were convinced Sasuke was their one-true-love.

" _Let go!_ "

Pulling away, Izumi Uchiha pouted, plump lips pale pink. "But I've been gone for _years_! I missed you so much." She said with a laugh, reaching out to ruffle his hair. "You grew up so big, otouto!"

Sakura slowly released her tense position, tucking her weapons back into her pouches. Naruto flickered in closer, confused glances between the new-comer and Sasuke. "Oi, who's this?"

The girl grinned in a way that reminded Sakura so much of Shisui, before she bowed. "Hello, I am Izumi Uchiha. You must be Sasuke-kun's teammates. Naruto Uzumaki and," she turned to look around the field, before landing on the only other girl. "Sakura Haruno?"

Naruto, happy to be recognized bounced up and down. "Eh? Eh? You know who I am?" Sakura rolled her eyes. Naruto was literally the epitome of a dog. Any attention was good attention.

Her smile was beautiful, Sakura thought. Her teeth bright white and straight, tiny dimples appearing in the corners of her mouth. Just by looking at her, Sakura was beginning to feel self-conscious. Even after taking down a half-dozen hunter-nins, not a single hair was out of place. Meanwhile Sakura could fight a single missing-nin and look like she was thrown through a grinder. "Of course, I do! Ita-kun writes me often and tells me lots about my adorable otouto."

"Stop _calling_ me that." Sasuke snapped, crossing his arms and looking thoroughly irritated.

"But we grew up together. I was one of the first people to hold you!"

"And I hated every minute of it."

Sakura watched the two of them bicker like siblings in a way that reminded her of Naruto and Sasuke. She returned her weapons back to her pouches, tugging her gloves back to proper place. She took her time checking in with the Daimyo's family, assuring them that everything was under control and that they were safe. She set them up with water and some food, before going out to the bodies to take back the weapons.

"Wow! You're Sakura, hey?" Sakura looked up to find the Uchiha beauty inches away from her face. It was only due to years of training that Sakura didn't fall over in surprise. But she flushed, looking down at her feet. "You're honestly… _so pretty._ " Izumi breathed, reaching out to touch a piece of short pink hair. "I _wish_ I could cut my hair like this. It looks so cute." The Uchiha's face morphed into a pout, and Sakura belated noticed a small mole just under her right eye. "But I can't. Because the guy I love told me he likes long hair." She finished with a delicate shrug.

Sakura was hit with flashbacks of her childhood, of being told the exact same thing about the boy she liked.

"That… guy wouldn't happen to be… S-Sasuke… right?"

Izumi's eyes widened comically before she burst out laughing. "Gods, no! Sasuke-kun's my otouto-"

" _Stop telling people that!_ "

Ignoring Sasuke's indignant cry, she continued. "But it is someone close to him I've been after for a while." She blushed prettily. "That guy is actually the reason I came back."

There were only two, excluding Naruto, men that were close to Sasuke. Itachi and Shisui. Sakura bit her lip. Should she ask her which one? Would that be rude? But how would she explain asking?

"Ah, it's getting late. I'll see you guys back at the village!" Izumi called, gathering up her dropped backpack. "Sakura-chan! When you get back, let's have a lunch date, okay? I super duper want to be friends with you!"

She left as quick as she came, and Sakura had a sinking feeling that things were about to get a little complicated.

* * *

-x-

* * *

The knocking on her door was loud and insistent, pulling her from the black coma of her sleep. She lifted her head from where she buried it in the pillow, squinting around. The person at the door was refusing to go away. Groaning, she rolled out of bed, tugging down her rolled up tank-top and shorts. The fading light outside the window told her she had completely slept the day away.

Stumbling to the front door, she threw it open to see Shisui Uchiha standing there, bright-eyed and bushy tailed, wrapped up in a dark-colored yukata.

"Good evening, Sacchan!" He said, pushing a box into her hands. "Here, put that on." He stepped around her, wandering off into her kitchen with her belatedly following him. Still half-asleep, she slouched down into her island chairs.

"What are you doing here, Shisui-chan?" Sakura yawned.

In the midst of riffling through her cupboards, he put some hot water on to boil. "I've come to pick you up for the Lantern Festival." Shisui cocked his head to the side with a pout. Sometimes with how much Shisui pouted and acted like a child, she forgot he was a twenty-six year old man. "I'm _positive_ I told you about this."

She raised an eyebrow, lifting the lid of the box. Nestled inside was a light patterned yukata with geta on top, before frowning and shutting the lid firmly. "It's my day off."

Rolling his eyes, he pulled out some tea, setting up two cups for both of them. "It's the _Lantern Festival._ "

" _And. It's. My. Day. Off._ " She uttered slowly with gritted teeth. Her plans of sleeping for a full day were slowly fading away the more Shisui was irritating her to wakefulness.

He waved away her comment. "You can sleep when you're dead, Sacchan. Now go put that on."

Green eyes met black eyes in a stare off of wills. The sound of water boiling and the ticking of her kitchen clock the only other sounds before Sakura groaned loudly. "I _hate_ you." Slipping off the chair, she grabbed the box and went back to her bedroom to freshen up.

* * *

-x-

* * *

Bobby-pins in her mouth, she was trying to wrangle her short hair up into a bun but the stubborn short pieces refused to stay. Maybe she _should_ have left her hair long, like Izumi's, who was proof you could be drop-dead gorgeous and still be the deadliest in battle.

"Shi-shee," she called around the pins, taking the last one out to shove into her hair. "Come tie my obi!" Finally getting the last pin in place, she wrapped the yukata tight around her body, holding it closed with one hand, she admire herself in the mirror.

It was a beautiful yukata. Mostly white, accented with a golden array of leaves, branches and a single deer patterned along the bottom. There was no crest on her back, which made her feel relieved. If anyone saw her, which anyone from the Konoha 12 would, it would be the first thing they would ask about.

Shisui slipped into her bedroom, grabbing the shimmering orange obi from the bed and began to tie it around her body with expert hands that left her mouth gaping. Watching him in the mirror, his face was serious, with a small furrow of concentration between his eyebrows.

"You're so good at this, Shisui-chan." She whispered into the darkened bedroom, lit by only a small bed-side table lamp. His laugh was soft and humble, while he finished off the bow with a pat to her hip.

He stared at her for moments that felt too long. She willed herself not to blush under his gaze, but it was getting harder the longer he looked at her. She couldn't figure out what the look in his eyes meant. A strange mixture of longing, sadness and joy. "You look beautiful, Sacchan."

Clearing her throat, she gave him a quick one-armed hug and slipped around him. "Thanks!"

His hand shot out to grab onto her forearm, thumb rubbing against the inside of her wrist. He opened his mouth as if to say something, but shook his head and smiled instead.

When he left the room, she stood there, trying to remember how to breathe. Her heart was racing, and it felt like her skin was burning where he touched her. She looked down at her wrist, nothing looked different, but something caught her eye.

Stitched into the very edge of her yukata sleeve was the Uchiha clan symbol. It was small, something no one would notice if they weren't looking for it. Beside it, there were two crescent moons, facing away from each other. A clan symbol Sakura didn't recognize.

 _Whose yukata is this?_

* * *

-x-

* * *

The village center streets were bustling with people and large floats with ornate lantern designs that made Sakura a little star struck. Night had fully fallen, and the area was lit entirely by the lanterns. The atmosphere felt romantic, and beautiful. The sounds of drums and flutes echoed through the streets from various performances. Even the sky was filled with floating ones marked with clan symbols.

The last time she attended this festival was when she was a child, before her graduation. Ever since then, she was always out of the village on long-term missions. If she was being truthful, she was glad that Shisui had dragged her out to see this.

Sakura's hand unconsciously found Shisui's sleeve to hold onto after being bumped around by the thick crowds. It wasn't until he took her hand in his, entwining their fingers together that she realized what she had done.

"S-sorry, the crowds are-.."

He shook his head, and Sakura couldn't help but realize how handsome Shisui really was. She had become desensitized after the years of knowing him, and seeing him on a daily basis. But with lanterns at his back, his hair wavy and messy, not a single shinobi gear in sight… he was handsome. And it made her nervous. He was a man. A young, attractive, successful _man_.

"Don't worry about it." He lifted their joined hands with a grin. "I can't lose you when we're like this."

She couldn't help the guilty feeling that rose up in her chest. It hadn't even been a few weeks since her falling out with Itachi, which left a bad taste in her mouth. She was torn between confronting him and talking it out or leaving him to do whatever he wanted. Her and Itachi were just friends… and it wasn't like they were dating. Maybe she mis-read all the signals he was giving her and didn't like her the way that she liked him. Maybe that was his way of letting her down easy.

And yet she still had feelings for him. She still _really_ liked him. She liked his laugh, his smile, the way he brought her coffee at the hospital, helped her back to her apartment after a grueling session with Shisui. How his touch lingered on her skin, a warmth that made her giddy.

Goddamn it, did she fall in love with him?

" _Sa-a-a-c-cha-a-n-n,_ " Shisui sang, bumping his shoulder with hers, forcing her to look up at him. "What are you thinking about?"

Shaking her head, she smiled up at him. "Nothing, sorry." She pointed over to a food shack. "Do you want some _kakigori_?"

She pulled out a little pouch of money from the inside of her obi, but Shisui stopped her with his other hand. "My treat, for letting me drag you out here." He grinned. "Find us a place to sit, and I'll be right back."

She watched him melt into the crowds easily, then turned around to find a place to sit down. Already the geta were beginning to irritated her feet, the skin between her toes turning red. She couldn't help but laugh. She survived a battle to the death with an Akatsuki and his poison, but it would be a pair of shoes to take her down.

Finding a bench in a quieter part of the festival, near the water canals, she slipped them off her feet, rubbing the abused skin.

"Sakura-chan!"

A _goddess_ came rushing towards her, with a bright smile.

"Izumi-san." Sakura blinked, wondering how a girl could be that beautiful. Her yukata was dark in color, with a similar array of orange, yellow and red autumn leaves falling beautifully, her obi bright red. The color of the Uchiha, no doubt she had the clan marking on her back. Her hair was piled up on top of her head in curls, a bira-bira kanzashi tucked neatly into the bun, the long metal pieces fluttering as she moved, creating a lovely twinkling sound.

The natural curves of her eyes were lined with black eyeliner, cheeks dusted pink, with soft gloss on her lips.

Sakura felt her heart skip a beat.

"You look amazing," she said, slipping her geta back on to greet the older girl with a short bow.

But it was Izumi instead that began to gush. "Me? Look at _you_! I have never seen such a beautiful kimono. The art-work is done so well, and it really suits you." Izumi grabbed Sakura's hand, squeezing it between hers. "I'm _so happy_ I got to see you again."

"M-me too," Sakura stuttered, eyes flickering up to the bira-bira.

Izumi, noticing the wandering gaze, reached up with her other hand to lightly touch the light silver piece. "Isn't this cute? I just bought one and-.. oh! I completely forgot!" The Uchiha let go of Sakura to riffle around in her Obi, pulling out a coin purse, and a fan before finding what she was looking for.

In her hand was a bira-bira, exactly the same as the one in Izumi's hair, but in a dark-silver color. Izumi took the piece, and slipped it into Sakura's bun. "I thought of you when I saw these." She took a step back and admired it on Sakura. "It's perfect. I knew it would suit you."

"You're so nice," Sakura whispered, embarrassed by how much attention Izumi was giving her. They had barely spoke a few sentences to each other, and yet Izumi was treating her like they were old friends. Sakura was almost ashamed to admit that not even Ino treated her this nice.

The dark-haired girl cocked her head to the side with a grin. "Us girls should really support each other. It's hard to be a kunoichi in this world. Plus, I never had many female friends growing up. I always hung out with boys, and it made the other girls dislike me."

"Zuzu-chan?" Shisui called, holding a red-colored shaved ice in his hands.

Izumi took a sharp breath in before launching herself at him. "Shu-tan!" Shisui barely had time to hold the treat out of the way when Izumi wrapped her arms around him with a laugh. "Where have you been hiding?!"

"Me?" He asked, incredulously. "When did you get back? I haven't seen you in the compound." His hand resting softly on her elbow in a familiar gesture.

"I got back a week ago, but I've been staying in a hotel. I needed some time to decompress before having to deal with the clan," she said in a tone that Sakura couldn't figure out. _Must be an inside thing._

"Sacchan, do you know Zuzu-chan?" Shisui asked, coming over to stand beside her. Izumi's eyes darted between the two off them before a slow grin formed.

"Shu-tan…" she drawled suggestively, "you never told me Sakura-chan was your girlfriend."

Sakura choked, turning around to cough and hold a hand over her heated face. Shisui simply laughed. "I'm her sensei, temporarily at least. She's taking the Jōnin exams in the spring."

The brunette's smile brightened, "Really? Honestly, you'll never find a better teacher than Shu-tan. Except maybe, Ita-kun."

"Izumi," Itachi said softly, stepped out from the stream of crowds that passed by them. Sakura's stomach dropped, her mouth went dry and she couldn't look him in the face. The sight of him in a yukata combined with not seeing him for a few weeks and the feelings leftover from their fight was overwhelming.

"Ita-kun!" The girl exclaimed, reaching out to wrap her arm around his, leaning inside his side. "We were _just_ talking about you. You never told me that Sakura-chan was being taught by Shu-tan!"

Then Sakura knew.

It was him that Izumi loved.

She could see it in the way Izumi looked up at him adoringly, a soft blush on her cheeks, making her look even more beautiful. The way she easily melted into his side, how easily she touched him with so much familiarity.

 _An Uchiha would know how to be the Clan Head's wife._

"It must have slipped by mind," he replied, nodding to the two of them. "Good evening, Shisui, Sakura-san."

"Hello, Ita-… Uchiha-san." She cleared her throat, taking a step back to stand beside Shisui who didn't say anything, instead choosing to look at his cousin with a dark expression. Izumi noticed this and frowned.

"You okay, Shu-tan?" She paused for a moment before groaning. "Are you two fighting again? What is it about this time?" She let go of Itachi to grab onto Shisui's and pull him closer to his younger cousin. "What have I told you two about fighting? You're brothers! _Talk your shit out._ " She admonished.

Sakura blinked, watching the way Izumi took control of the situation in a way that reminded her so much of how she handled Naruto and Sasuke. These were the boys that Izumi said she grew up with, and Sakura definitely could see the reason why other girls disliked her for it. Having two of the most attractive and talented Uchiha boys as her close friends?

Sakura knew that feeling all too well.

"It's nothing, Izumi." Itachi met Sakura's eyes before looking away, expression unreadable. "Just a small disagreement. We need to get going, okaa-san is expecting us for dinner tonight."

Izumi didn't like the way both managed to deflect her demands, her arms crossed tight in front of her with a frown. "We're going to talk about this later." With finality in her voice, she came over to where Sakura stood at the edge of the conversation, unsure of her place. Izumi wrapped her up in a tight hug. "Are you busy tomorrow? Let's have that lunch date, okay?"

Sakura nodded mutely, with a forced smile, watching Izumi wrap herself around Itachi's arm again, and disappear into the crowds. It took her a moment to figure out how to move, how to breathe again. The shaved-ice was half-melted in the cup in her hand, the festival a distant buzz in her ears.

"Did you have It-.. Uchiha-san have a fight?"

He turned to look at her, his eyes dark and lifeless, with a bland smile. "Why are you calling him Uchiha-san, instead of Itachi-san?"

She flushed, looking down at the melted treat in her hands. "That's-… um. We had a… falling out. Kind of."

"Yeah. Us too."

* * *

-x-

* * *

A/N: I was really self-conscious about how to write Neji since he's a hard person to really pin down, so when people reviews that he was accurate and in character, it made me really happy. I've never written Neji before so I'm happy I got that right.


	14. Chapter 12

-x-

* * *

The rest of the festival after that felt forced, and awkward. Sakura was stuck in her head, replaying that moment over and over again. Izumi leaning into Itachi, looking up at him, talking familiar to him in a way that Sakura ached to. How easily Izumi had melted back into his life after years away, Sakura being replaced so easily.

It was bittersweet.

The way their relationship hinted at the start of something great, and beautiful and potentially historical, but it ended too quickly.

"Shit, Sakura? Are you okay?"

She looked up from the ground into the concerned eyes of Shisui, who looked mildly panicked. "F-fine" Her voice cracked, and she realized that she had been crying. Somewhere between quiet tears and full out sobs. Embarrassed, she turned around, rubbing off the tears with the sleeve of her yukata.

Thankfully Shisui had led the both through some deserted backstreets on his way to take her home. So, no one was there to witness her momentary weakness.

"Y-Yeah, I'm good." She let out a shuddering breath, before her face morphed into another held-back sob, and buried herself into her hands. "God damn it."

Shisui had one hand mid-reach for her but stopped short. Hesitating. "You like him."

It wasn't a question; it was a fact. A statement. Something he already knew, but _please say no, please, please._

"Yes," she whispered through clenched teeth, trying to hold back the dam of emotions. "I like him so much but it feels like the rift between us keeps growing and growing," she looked up and Shisui felt his heart squeeze at how broken she looked. "I just want things to go back to the way they were. I miss him. Not just because I like him, I miss him as a person. A friend. And Izumi-san is so beautiful, and has known him for years and can be so close to him and I can't do that."

She wiped away the tears from the corners of her eyes with a sniff, and looked up at the sky. "Sorry I'm so pathetic. I fell in love with the wrong Uchiha again. God, maybe I'm not cut out for love. I don't think I can-"

"Fall in love with me instead," he blurted out, hand reached out to grab hold of her forearm, pulling her closer to him. She stumbled from the geta, falling into his side. The words echoed in her head, refusing to register before she looked up. He was blushing, but his face was serious.

"W-what?"

"I like you, Sakura." His other hand came up to caress the side of her cheek, still wet with stray tears. "So... just look at _me_ , okay?" His hand slipped from her forearm to her waist, pulling her flush against his body and she blushed, her eyes falling to his chest, unable to keep his gaze. "Look at me," he breathed, pulling her face up with his hand on her chin.

Then he leaned down, his lips hovering over hers. "If you don't tell me to stop, I will kiss you."

She felt the softest brush against her lips, his breath on her face. It felt like her heart was going to jump out of her chest, it was beating so hard. _Oh god, he was going to kiss her. Has she even been kissed before? Fuck, is she having her first kiss with Shisui?!_ She knew she had to stop this, say no, say _something_ , so when a squeaking groan came out, it startled both of them enough to pause. "I-I-…Ino…"

He pulled back, a confused look on his face. "…the Yamanaka?"

"She loves you," Sakura couldn't help but intake large gulpfuls of air when Shisui put a little more space between the two of them. _This man is so dangerous._

He took a step back, his hands lingering on her body, lost in thought. She wondered if he was replaying all the moments they had ever interacted together.

"I-I shouldn't have said anything, she would _kill_ me if she knew I told you," she tried to subtle take a step away from him, but his damn hands were like iron cages. "But she's my best friend and she's loved you for years. And I-I can't…"

His laugh was soft, his hands yielding on her body, almost reluctant to let her go. "Sakura… I have barely spoken a handful of sentences to her. I don't know her, but I do know _you_." One hand reached up to brush a stray strand of hair from her face, before lingering to touch her heated cheeks. "I'm not saying you need to give me an answer right now. I just want you to think about this, and realize that my cousin isn't the only Uchiha in this village that wants your attention."

Leaning into the touch of his warm hand, she let out a shuddering breath. "I still like… him."

"I know you do." He pulled lightly on her arm, back into the comforting circle of his arms. "Even when you and he become friends again, I want you to consider me too."

She nodded against his chest, feeling herself melt and relax more into the touch. A comforting gesture that felt really, _really_ good. When was the last time she was hugged just for comfort sake?

"… can we put this conversation on hold, Shisui?" Her voice small, she looked up at him, the bira-bira in her hair jingling with the movement. "I don't want this to affect our training."

He shook his head. "Even if you come to hate me between now and Spring, I wouldn't stop our training." A corner of his mouth quirked up in the hint of a smile. "You're my favorite student, after all."

Sakura groaned, rolling her eyes. "I'm your only student, Shisui-chan." With his arm wrapped around her shoulders, he pressed a chaste kiss into her hair and began walking again. "Also… I have something I was thinking about for a while."

"Hm?"

"This yukata? Whose is it?"

He frowned, glancing down at her. "Why do you think it belongs to someone?"

Lifting up the sleeve of her right arm, she showed him the two stitched in symbols. "I recognize the Uchiha marking, but this crescent moon one is unfamiliar."

Sakura knew she said the wrong thing when his face fell slightly, a sadness in the crease between his eyebrows, the downturn of his lips. "That's… that's a long story, for another time, Sacchan."

She flinched with a grimace. "Shisui, I-I'm sorry, I didn't-"

He shook his head, squeezing her shoulders. "The yukata was my mothers, who then handed it down to my baby sister."

"You have a sister?"

"...had. Her name was Natsuki. She was a casualty during the Winter Uprising."

* * *

-x-


	15. Chapter 13

-x-

* * *

"Haruno-sama! Emergency!" A nurse rounded the corner at break-neck speed, shoes nearly slipping on the polished hospital floors. Sakura dropped the patient file in her hands, telling the desk nurse to take care of it.

She caught up with the nurse, both beginning the quick jog back to emergency. Breaking through the double swing rooms, the large room was in a full uproar. A small squadron of Jōnin, and ANBU were coming in, each injured and bloodied. _A mission gone wrong._ She was quick to analyze the situation, zoning in on the last incoming shinobi on a stretcher, bright red blood flowing from his wounds to the floor. A bird ANBU mask covering his face.

"Get some hands on that!" She snapped, looking around, cursing at how many of her interns were beginning to stutter in their steps. Some were brand-new and it was to be expected, but it irritated her that many of her senior interns were still hesitating. "MOVE!" She roared and they moved.

If there was one thing Sakura took very seriously in her life, it was her medical career. There was no time to coddle and play nice when you had lives in your hands. The shinboi community was small enough that a loss rippled through the ranks. And damn it all, if she would be the cause of that loss.

A petite nurse, a girl named Nana jumped on the stretcher immediately, putting her hands on the wounds. But the blood was flowing too quick for her to fully stop it. "Off," Sakura ran over, nearly pulled her off before jumping on herself to plunge her hands into the cavity. "Clear OR one!" She yelled out, focusing on assessing the rest of the damage. She could smell the sickly sweet smell of poison. A familiar scent that she knew exactly where it came from, or rather who created it.

Clamping down on the torn open vessels inside his body with her hand, Sakura used her other one to rip off the ANBU mask.

 _Michiya Saito, age twenty-nine. Jōnin veteran, ANBU. No known medical conditions or allergies, last check-up six months ago. Wound is jagged, looks to have been made by a razor-like weapon. The scent of poison is strong._

Within the medical room, Sakura immediately called her for her Second, an intern with the highest promise. "Yuna," she said, wrist deep in Michiya's chest. The tall-redhead girl with the serious face looked up from getting gowned. "Go to my office. In my bottom right drawer, at the very back is a vial. You need to bring it to me _immediately_. You run and you do _not stop_. Go."

The girl ran, and Sakura worked on getting the damage repaired. But it wouldn't amount to shit if she couldn't get that antidote. Even as she was healing the damage, she couldn't figure out why the enemy would poison a weapon as huge as this. A waste of a potent poison to cover this large a surface. Plus poisons were like signatures. It was impossible to recreate someone else's poison, someone _who is dead._

Unless...

"Check his body. I want to know about every cut on his body." She ordered, slipping off the bed to the floor, letting a nurse place a mask over her face, and pull her hair back.

"Jagged cut here, Haruno-sama."

She shook her head.

"Puncture wound on his lower leg, looks like senbon."

"No," Sakura said through gritted teeth. "Keep looking."

"Haruno-sama, he has a small cut on his palm here. It's tiny, but it's inflamed and bleeding a lot."

Sakura swore, anger quickly building up. _I knew it!_ "Where the fuck is Yuna with the antidote?!"

The red-head stumbled into the room quickly, passing it off to the technician to apply to the drip connected to Michiya's arm.

"Why are we looking at cuts, Haruno-sama?" A young intern asked, his name on the tip of Sakura's tongue. She glared at him with misplaced anger.

"Because the poison wasn't inflicted by an enemy."

* * *

-x-

* * *

She burst out of the OR an hour later, chakra reserves half-depleted. The antidote helped a little bit, but this poison was a modified strand. Sakura had to recreate an antidote on the fly while pulling as much as she could from his body. She placed him in a medically induced coma until his body could filter through the remaining poison.

Stalking down the halls, she ripped off her mask and gown, Yuna barely managing to catch them before Sakura stormed into the emergency room. She was still covered in now drying blood, the skin of her forearms covered. It was less hectic than before, the interns worked hard to sort everyone out and prioritize.

"Who the hell is Squad Captain?!" She looked around at the masked faces until one stood up. Staring down the Bear mask, she caught up with him and let loose. "How the fuck did you get your hands on Sasori's poison?! The antidote created for it wasn't even completed and yet you let your subordinate go out and use it?"

The waiting room went deadly silent, many nurses coming around the corners to watch a five-foot-three Chief Medic scold a five-foot-eight Squad Captain.

"The antidote I had was a prototype, barely even tested. When I gave that poison to Ibiki Morino to examine, it was _not for tactical use_ and not to _modify._ Because what kind of idiot goes into battle using a poison without a fully functioning antidote?!" She took a step back, taking a deep breath. "Bird may or may not wake up, and _that's on you_ , Squad _Captain_." She spit out, turning her heel and leaving.

* * *

-x-

* * *

An hour later, she was showered and clean, the ends of her short hair still dripping water from a lazy towel off. She had more than enough time to calm down in the shower, and breathe.

And unfortunately admit to herself that she _may_ have overreacted. But her feelings about that poison were strong. Even after she was infected with it, and slept for the night after coming home, she was kept up with night sweats, throwing up and body aches. She was incapacitated for days while trying to pull out enough to create an antidote.

Stepping into her office, she let out a breath, head full of different ways she could tackle this new strain.

"Haruno-san," ANBU Squad Captain, Bear, stood up from her guest chair. She stopped short, before a scowl appeared on her face.

"What? Back for round two, Captain?" She drawled, moving around him to plop down in her desk chair, leaning back.

He cocked his head to the side. "You're angry."

"Of course I'm angry!" She snapped, sitting up. "I'm angry that a Captain can be so careless with his subordinates. They're not just tools for you to throw away when you want. They're human beings."

"Haruno-san... Bird does not use poison in his tactics."

She narrowed her eyes. "The poison came from a small cut on his hand. Self-inflicted."

"Bird... does _not_ use poison. He is a weapons master."

She shot up, fists braced against her desk. "I may be Chief Medic, Captain, but I am also an _experienced_ shinobi. I have seen my fair share of battles and I am telling _you_ that the poison came from a mishandled kunai soaked in a modified poison strand descended from Sasori's." She spoke slow and low, staring him down. "A poison that no one had clearance to _use_." _And that's because I am also the resident poison expert!_

The Captain didn't say anything, simply stood there like a statue before he sat down. "What I am about to say to you, Haruno-san, is confidential. Something only the team is aware of."

She mirrored him, sliding down into her seat, leaning forward with narrowed eyes. A short lift of her chin for him to continue.

"We were intercepted by a group of rogue nin's, among which was an Akatsuki that handled puppets and poisons. He wore an armor he called Hiruko, that was equipped with a poison scorpion-tail."

Her heart clenched, her mouth went dry and she stuttered. "N-no. Sasori's dead. I killed him myself."

Bear let out a breath. "The Akatsuki called himself _Sasora_. He introduced himself as Sasori's successor." He paused to let her absorb the information, no doubt watching the surprise on her face. "It is within my own judgement that during that fight, Bird nicked himself on the tail while dodging but was unaware of the poison. Towards the end, Sasora realized he was outmatched and retreated. Bird was found against a tree with the wounds you saw."

She slumped back down, covering her face with her hands, feeling it burn with embarrassment and shame. She really _did_ overreact. "Captain, I am so sorry. Honestly, I am so-"

"It's alright, Haruno-san."

Standing up, she debating whether dogeza was enough of an apology. Should she go directly to Ibiki and offer her head? "No, I'm serious. I am SO sor-"

" _Sakura-san_ ," the Captain's hand was soft on her arm, before he slipped off his mask. The corners of Itachi's mouth twitched up in a smile. "It's alright. You reacted in a normal way, considering the amount of information you had at the time."

"Itachi-san," she breathed, caught up in his gaze.

This time he did smile, fully. "It's nice to see you, Sakura-san. It's been a while."

She nodded mutely, looking down at his hand still on her forearm. He removed it quickly. "It has. I haven't seen you around the village. Not since the festival three weeks ago."

Taking a step back, he attached his mask to his hip, and removed his gloves. "I have been away on a long-term mission." His tone switching to a more formal, distant one. "I was on my way back a week ago when I was intercepted by the team with word of an Akatsuki in the area."

"Ah."

The silence turned awkward and Sakura wasn't sure what else to say. _Hey, welcome back, are you gonna pretend I don't exist now? Have you completely given up on our friendship? You and Izumi together yet? When's the wedding?_

She winced at her own train of thought. She was getting bitter and dark _real_ fast.

Opening her mouth would be a bad idea, but when would be the next time that the two of them could talk like this? She doubted she would be able to just go up to the Uchiha compound and demand that their next Clan Head speak with her after weeks of ignoring each other.

"You've been ignoring me," the words tumbled out of her, and she wasn't sure if she was grateful for not having a filter, or embarrassed at how annoyed her tone sounded. Itachi looked appropriately ashamed.

"The last time we spoke, I said some words that were... unkind. But they were truthful." She watched him clear his throat and look away. "I did not wish to bother you."

She took a deep breath in. "You think you were being true when you suggested I marry a man I don't love, a man I _couldn't_ love?"

"It is a harsh truth, but _any other option_ ," he stressed with a pointed look, "won't work out."

 _Without sacrificing more than what it's worth_ went unsaid.

She scoffed, running a hand through her fluffy, dry hair. "We haven't even _started_ anything yet, Itachi-san. We haven't kissed, or hugged. You held my hand once, and that was barely for a second." The nervousness in her began to melt away, replaced by an ache and irritation. "How can you know that things won't work out for us if you haven't even give _us_ a chance? You deciding for me isn't how relationships work. Romantic or otherwise."

Ina rare moment of bravery, she stepped around her desk, reaching out to hold a hand to his arm. His skin was burning hot under hers. "I like you and I think you know that. You like me too and I know that because I saw the jealousy on your face that night."

She stepped closer, watching his jaw clench as her hand trailed higher up on his arm. "To be partnered with a Clan head-"

"Will _obviously_ come with a set of challenges and hurdles to overcome. Sacrifices happen, but I won't make more than I'm comfortable with. I'm a big girl, Itachi-san. When push comes to shove, you can see that I can handle my own. Whether against a Squad Captain or a group of old men. So stop running away, stop fighting with your cousin, and stop making decisions for me." Her hand ghosted across the top of his shoulder. "In the meantime, can we start with getting our friendship back and see where we go from there?"

He let out the breath he was holding, his eyes softening. "We can do that."

"Good," she beamed. "Also I do... kinda...have something to tell you about Shisui."

An unfortunate conversation she was _not_ looking forward to.

* * *

-x-

* * *

A/N: Ah. I was waiting for this chapter. We found reconciliation buuuut we still have Izumi and Shisui to deal with.


	16. Excerpt III

-x-

* * *

"My goodness. Sakura darling, is that you?" Mebuki Haruno exclaimed upon opening her front door. Sakura awkwardly shifted from one foot to the other, hands tucked into the pockets of her tight pants. The unseasonably warm mid-autumn day allowed her to wear a short sleeved t-shirt. While it never truly snowed in Konoha, due to it's more southern position in Fire Country, the temperature did drop enough in the winter for its residents to wear thicker jackets.

"Yeah, it's me," she said softly, ducking past her to slip into the house. She looked like a child that was about to be scolded for coming home too late. Which in all sense, wasn't all that wrong. Between missions, training, and the hospital, it had been a half year since she had come to see her mother.

"You look... different." Mebuki Haruno said slowly, following her daughter down the hallway to the kitchen. While running her gaze from the bottom of her daughters feet, up her toned calves, to her thinned waist, and along her more muscular arms, she realized Sakura didn't make a single sound when she walked. Even after graduating the academy, her only child had the bad habit of having a hard downward step that always signaled her arrival, or movements around the family home.

"Yeah, um, I've been training. I have some exams in the Spring." She said with a backwards glance before taking a seat.

"Oh?" Mebuki questioned, putting on a tea kettle and taking a peak at the miso soup. "What exams, Flower?"

With her back turned, she didn't see her daughter flinch at the very old pet name. One that had been stopped being used since she graduated the academy.

"Jōnin exams... and the ANBU trials."

The lid clattered back on the soup pot, Mebuki turned around quickly with wide eyes. "ANBU?" She whispered, praying she heard her daughter wrong.

But she didn't and the girl smiled proudly. "Yep. If I pass the Jōnin exams, I've been invited to take the Trials. I wasn't sure at first, but I realized that if I want to see how far I can go, I need to take every opportunity given to me." Sakura slid from the dining room chair to lean against the island counter. Mebuki couldn't stop her pounding heart, cold sweat running up her back. "I think," her daughter continued, "if dad was alive, he would be really proud of me."

" _NO_!" Mebuki screeched, visions of her husbands body brought back in pieces with a cracked and blooded Snake mask on top. She reached out a hand to claw onto Sakura's forearm."You are _not_ taking the exams. I _refuse_."

Sakura looked down at the hand before gently prying it from the iron grip. "I'm an adult now, mom. It's a _really_ high honor to take the Trials. You have to be vouched and recommended."

But Mebuki didn't hear her over the rush of blood in her ears, her head spinning. "That damn shinobi suicide squad is not taking my only daughter the way it took my husband from me!" She pulled herself up, glaring down at her daughter with all the anguish she had in her heart. "Sakura, if you take those exams, you will no longer be part of this family. I refuse to wait here until _you_ come home in a body bag."

Taking a step back, her daughter breathed, hands clenched tight by her sides. The color had drained from her face, and her eyes shimmered with un-shed tears. "Thank you for being my mom and thank you for taking care of me." She bowed low, before turning on her heel and fleeing the house. Mebuki Haruno slid to the floor of her kitchen, and cried.

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-x-

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A/N: Just a bit of background for y'all.


	17. Chapter 14

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* * *

Sakura flopped down into the large chairs set up before the Hokage's desk, reaching across to grab the full sake bottle and a spare ochoko ceramic cup, pouring herself one. She hissed as it slid down her throat before pouring herself another one and drinking that up too.

Tsunade walked in, arms filled, with a raised eyebrow and a soft laugh. "Rough day?"

Sakura gave her a _look_ before pouring herself a third. "You have _no_ idea."

Her shishou hummed, dropped a stack of papers and taking her seat. "I heard you yelled at an ANBU squad Captain yesterday and the entire hospital was there to witness," she said conversationally, pouring herself a drink as well.

She didn't even bother looking ashamed, and shrugged in response. "Are you mad?"

The blonde burst out laughing, pouring them both another drink. "Hell no. I gave that hospital to you while I deal with this... _Hokage_ business. Your hospital, your rules, Sakura." After setting them both up with their fifth, Tsunade sat back, fingertip running the edge of the cup. "It's unlike you to come hang out in my office, and drink yourself into a stupor. What's going on? Boy problems? Team problems? Family?"

It wasn't the first time Sakura had come to her shishou for advice, or to talk things out. Being on a team with all boys who thought feelings were something you ate, Tsunade pitied the poor girl who had become a near surrogate daughter during their time together.

Sakura scoffed a laugh with the cup on her lips. "All three." When Tsunade didn't respond, it forced Sakura to elaborate. "I'm in the middle of a love triangle, wait no. That's a lie. It's a love square. My teammate is being a class A douche bag and refuses to speak or acknowledge my existence until he beats my ass in a one-on-one after the Jōnin exams and my mother _just_ disowned me."

The office was quiet with the ticking of a clock before Tsunade let out a breath and opened a desk drawer, pulling out a second bottle. "I think we might need something a little stronger." After pouring both ochoko full, she leaned back, analyzing the dark circles under her protege's eyes."There is a lot to unpack here, Sakura. I don't even know where to begin."

She groaned, throwing a leg over the arm of the chair and lounging with her gaze to the ceiling. "Where's Shizune? She's a good assistant, she can solve all my problems, right?" With a sideways glance, the look on Tsunade's face told her no, this was something that not even Shizune could fix. Sakura huffed. "She solves _your_ problems."

"Okay. Just... start with your mother disowning you." Tsunade sighed, wondering when she came a therapist. But if it got her out of paperwork _and_ gave her an excuse to drink...

"I'm taking the ANBU Trials and joining the organization that got my father killed."

"Yeah, no, I'm not touching that one. What about your team?"

"Sasuke's been pissed I took down an Akatsuki months ago. He refuses to speak to me. But his older brother and cousin got it into his head that if we both pass the exams, we should do a combat test and see who's stronger." Sakura sighed, sipping on her sake. "But now he won't _stop_ looking at me, trying to figure out what it is that Shisui-chan is teaching me and how he can beat it."

Tsunade rubbed her face, taking another drink. "Fine, what's this about a love triangle."

"It's a square because I like two guys, and they both like me, and there's another girl that likes one of the guys that I like and she really, really wants to be my friend but we both like the same guy and how do I even _know_ if she's being a _genuine_ person and she's like disgustingly pretty. It makes me mad just to look at her." The words began to spill out of her as the sake coursed through her blood stream.

Her shishou pushed the still-full sake bottle to her and waved her away. "Leave and take that with you. You have a lot of shit to figure out, Sakura. I'm the..." the words became stilted and forced from her mouth, "... _Hokage_ and I don't have...time...to deal with your problems," she said with a disgusted look at her paperwork, wondering if this was the first time she had given up drinking and slacking off to do paperwork and actual Hokage work.

"But-"

"Go _away_ , Sakura. You're giving me a headache just looking at you." Her student grabbed the bottle with a pout and turned to leave. "Sakura. Give your mother time. Sasuke has always had a stick up his ass and that will never change. And you shouldn't have to fight for a boy to like you, they should fight for you to like them. As for the girl, I found that the best way to see into someone's heart is hand-to-hand combat."

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-x-

* * *

She woke up the next morning with a hangover and a lighter feeling in her chest. While her shishou wasn't a therapist Sakura would spend money on, she did manage to spit out some gems every now and again. Before she got too into the sake, Sakura invited Izumi out for a training session, just the two of them. They never did manage to get around to having their lunch date, but Izumi promised this was just as good.

Wrapping up her chest and putting on her favorite training tank-top, that had a high neck, paired with spandex capri's that molded with her body, she half-pulled her hair up into a ponytail. She did a light jog to training field number 19, the mid-morning sun just hinting at a hot day. The Uchiha hadn't arrived yet which gave Sakura time to do a few quick stretches and begin to wrap up her hands with semi-elastic cotton wraps.

Just finishing up her other hand, Izumi came running up, looking more casual than Sakura had ever seen her. Hair pulled up in a high pony-tail, not a trace of make-up on her skin, she wore a loose fitting t-shirt with shorts. "Good morning, Sakura-chan!" She called happily, stopping just short of her to wrap an arm around her in a hug. "I feel like we haven't seen each other in forever!"

Sakura smiled, passing off the extra set of hand-wraps to the girl. "Sorry I had to bail so often on that lunch date. Life is kind of hectic right now and I'm on-call a lot with the hospital."

Izumi waved her comment away and began to wrap up her hands. "I've been having to deal with my clan council and if there's one thing I really hate, it's a group of old men that keep trying make decisions for the next generation."

Giving her a look, Sakura stretched out her arms. "The Konoha council is the exact same. Thankfully Tsunade-shishou takes no bullshit from any man." With Izumi's hands wrapped, they faced off. "Rules?"

"No chakra, enhanced strength, weapons or sharingan. Strictly hand-to-hand combat. Yield is verbalized, or signaled by tapping the ground."

Agreeing to the terms, Sakura lowered her center of gravity, hands pulled close to her body. "Let's make it interesting, Izumi-san. Best of three?"

Then she saw it, a glint in Izumi's eye. Something... raw and natural. Like all pretenses had been stripped away. "You're on."

It was the caw of a bird that spurred them both to movement, Sakura throwing the first punch that was quicker than Izumi realized, judging by the wide-eyed look on her face. Sakura went on offensive first, driving Izumi backwards to avoid getting hit. Their forearms and legs connected in blocking techniques, and the rest of the world slowly faded away until it was just her and Izumi.

"I like him," Sakura breathed, ducking down to avoid a hit before throwing a few of her own. "Itachi, I mean." Izumi narrowed her eyes, baring her teeth.

The Uchiha tried sweeping the legs, but Sakura nimbly jumped out of the way. "You have Shisui," she replied lowly with an elbow.

Blocking it with her forearm, Sakura wrapped her arm around Izumi's neck, bringing them both down to the ground in a grapple. "I-I do," she ground out in the struggle. "But I fell in love with," she grunted from Izumi's elbow in her stomach, "I-Itachi first."

Sakura was blinking stars from where Izumi got her arm free and connected a sharp elbow to her face. She felt her upper cheek bone split open with a dribble of blood. Sakura barely had time to roll backwards and pop up when Izumi was on her again. "Then I feel _sorry_ for you, Sakura-san," the brunette growled on the offensive. "Because I have been groomed since birth to be his wife."

The shock of the statement caught Sakura, and Izumi threw a full punch, the younger girl falling to the ground. Izumi was straddling her, with a forearm pressed against her neck, legs wrapped around her body. It was hard to breathe, and Sakura _struggled_.

"Our families have an understanding," Izumi grunted, trying to keep Sakura down. "His father and my father were best friends, and have wanted to join our families since we were both born." Sakura's face began to turn an ugly red color from lack of oxygen as she gasped, pulling fruitlessly at the strong arms before she reached out and tapped the ground quickly.

Izumi was gone and Sakura lay on the ground gasping for air. "It is _understood_ that I will be the Clan Head's Wife," Izumi panted, adjusting the wraps on her hands, one already colored with Sakura's blood.

The medic stood up, and assumed her fighting stance once more. Their second fight proved to be even more truthful than their first. All pretenses and play niceties were gone, replaced by two strong-willed women learning about each other. About each other's truths.

"Just because it is understood doesn't mean it will happen," Sakura growled with round-house kick to make Izumi back off.

It made Sakura furious that she herself was sweating and bloodied while Izumi didn't have a hair out of place. How can one woman be so flawless? "Sakura." Izumi sighed. "You don't understand the amount of training I had to do in order to _become_ the wife. The amount of sacrifice I will have to make. The clan..."

Sakura pressed forward, putting Izumi on the defensive. She threw elbows and palms, blocking with her forearms and shins. Pulling as much as she could from her vague memories of training with Rock Lee all those years finally, _finally_ , she managed to catch Izumi's chin and get her down into a submissive stance, Sakura's body wrapped around hers. "I am _not interested_ in the clan. I am interested in the _man_ who you can't seem to see," Sakura pulled tighter when Izumi struggled. "Itachi is not just the Clan Head. He is a man. A _human being_."

With the girl underneath her struggling and struggling over the grapple Sakura had her in, it was only a few moments before she gritted out 'yield', and Sakura let go, backing off to wipe off the blood that leaked from her nose from a stray elbow. "Sakura... I left the village five years ago after I had made Jōnin. I traveled, and experienced the world." With her hands on her hips, sweat on her forehead and a bit of blood and dirt on her skin, Izumi sighed. "I had five years to live my life, and now I have come back because I am _ready_ to be a housewife. I am ready to give it all up to be his wife and bear his children, and be a mother to the clan." She shook her head, her pony-tail half falling out. "You don't come from a clan, you don't get it. Itachi turns twenty-five next year. It is expected that he takes his rightful place as Clan Head."

"I'm not here to convince you, Izumi, to give him to me. I told you as a courtesy. That between now and then, I won't hold back my feelings. Until the very last moment."

The two of them met again in the middle, fists clashing with body parts. Their last fight proved to be the most honest. Sakura swore she could see directly into Izumi's heart and saw that the girl really did love Itachi. Had loved him for so long that he was a part of her, stitched into her soul and nothing in this world would break her bond with him. "What about Shisui, then?" Izumi snapped. "You just going to keep stringing him along as a backup? You know he's like a brother to me, I won't let you fuck with him."

Sakura's fist found Izumi's abdomen, pushing her back. "I like him, too. Every day that passes, the line blurs, and it gets harder and harder to choose between the two of them. Sometimes I don't even want to." Sakura wiped away sweat with her shoulder. Since his confession, Shisui had taken it upon himself to find her each morning and walk her to the training field, sometimes bearing coffee or breakfast. If she went away on a spur of the moment mission, he would wait at the Gate for her with a smile. He found random reasons to touch her. A brush against her bare shoulders, a finger twirled in her short hair, a hand on her waist. She wasn't aware of him before, but now she was and it gave her butterflies in the exact same way that a touch from Itachi did.

Her friendship with Itachi had nearly healed, and he often visited her in the hospital bringing dinner when she worked too late, or just to sit and let her vent at him about the stupidity of her interns, or the exhaustion of her training sessions. He was solid as a wall for her to lean against and breathe. But now she felt her feelings were getting muddled.

Frowning, Izumi paused. "You know about the Twin Shadows?" Sakura's face told her no, she didn't know about it. "It's an ancient clan practice where a woman would take two men as her husbands. They were called Shadows."

She raised an eyebrow. "Polyandry? Wow, your clan is something else."

Izumi quirked a smile. "Tell me about it."

An hour passed, the movements between the two of them were beginning to slow, the sun starting to peak at the center of the sky, heating up the field. They were both reaching their limits, skin bruised and bloodied, hair unkempt. "I don't think..." Izumi panted, one leg threatening to give out. "I have ever been this open with another person before."

Sakura laughed, limping over to the Uchiha. "My shishou said this was the best way to get to know someone. Unfortunately for me, I have to go tell her she was right and blow up her ego even more."

With Sakura coming up on her, Izumi moved to stand up, but her leg gave out instead and she toppled over. "How can you still stand?"

Squatting, the medic grinned. "I've had demons for teammates, and sensei's. Can't stay alive if you can't keep up." Holding out a hand to help her up, Sakura cocked her head to the side. "Call this last one a tie?"

Izumi paused, looking between the hand and Sakura's face, searching for any deception. Shaking her head, Izumi clasped the hand, groaning as Sakura pulled her up. "Damn. Now I really want to be your friend, Sakura-chan."

"I thought we were friends?" Sakura questioned, beginning to unwrap her hands. "Just because we both like the same guy doesn't mean we have to sacrifice our friendship over it. I've had to deal with a love triangle with an Uchiha before and I lost my best friend for years. I would rather not do that again."

With that one comment, it led to an endless stream of questioning from Izumi about it, followed by a scandalized screech of: "It was SASUKE?!"

* * *

-x-

* * *

The two Uchiha men found the girls a couple hours later, sitting together in a coffee shop, giggling and sharing a slice of chocolate cake. Shisui raised an eyebrow at how they were both covered in bruises and remnants of dirt, a bit of an intimate aura around them.

Sakura turned to greet them both. "Hey!" Then she frowned with a cocked head. "Did... you two get into a fight?" Gesturing to their appearance. Shisui looked over to his younger cousin sporting a shining black eye, and a bloodied lip. Their training clothes had flakes of wood and mud.

"Could ask you two the same thing," he drawled, wincing as he pulled out a chair to sit down. His right leg throbbing where Itachi nearly snapped it in a grapple.

The two girls looked at each other before bursting out laughing. "Something like that." Izumi grinned, reaching over to pick a leaf from Itachi's ponytail.

Shisui narrowed his eyes, watching Sakura's expression which didn't change at all. The scene not bothering her. Shisui kicked his cousin from under the table. "Ita-chan here has something to say to you, Sacchan."

Itachi looked thoroughly uncomfortable before he got up, bowing at the waist, startling Sakura. "I said some things that were unkind. I apologize for suggesting that you marry a man you didn't love and making decisions for you."

The silence ebbed on, and Shisui kicked him again " _And_...?"

Holding back a groan, the Uchiha heir continued. "And I apologize for ignoring you."

Sakura made eye contact with Izumi, before the other girl leaned over to whisper. "Ita-kun has _never_ had to _apologize_ for _anything_ in his entire life. Savor this moment because I seriously doubt it'll _ever_ happen again."

Green eyes darted between Itachi and Izumi before she whispered back. "Should we make him grovel a bit more then?"

* * *

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A/N: Alright, who got those SUPER SUBTLE hints that I was laying down cause I finally made my decision about the love in the story? Since there was such an OVERWHELMING responce to my indicision about ItaSaku or ShiSaku or ItaSakuShi.

I love y'all. Like you have no idea.

Also I've noticed that my chapters are slowly starting to get longer. They used to be less than 1k, now I'm averaging at about 2.5k, as high as 4k words. Inspiration is the best thing ever.

Leave a review on your way out~


	18. Chapter 15

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Sakura had a major case of déjà vu when she opened her eyes one early winter morning to find a pair of sky blue ones staring back at her with a smile.

"Mornin', Sakura-chan!" Naruto chirped, jumping into her bed and laying down beside her, his head propped up on one arm. He was way too comfortable coming into a girl's room like this.

She groaned loudly, throwing an arm over her face. "Lemme guess," she yawned. "It's Team Bonding day."

"It's Team Bond-... oh." Naruto laughed. "I was kinda expecting you to ask me what I was doing here again."

Rubbing at her eye, she raised an eyebrow. "So what _big plans_ do you have for us today? Another festival? Training session?"

His grin grew wider, a touch of mischievousness at the corners. "Nah, it's somethin' a li' closer to home."

Frowning, she cocked her head to the side and noticed that her apartment was a little bit louder than it usually was. "Naruto..." She whispered. "Who the hell is in my apartment right now?" Belatedly, she hoped she had actually _cleaned_ her place recently. She got a little lazy sometimes when she only came home to bathe and sleep.

If Naruto was a person who could _look_ guilty, he would, rubbing the back of his neck with a laugh. "Uh. Just a few... people. You know. Sasuke-teme. Kakashi-sensei. Ino-chan, Hinata-chan. Itashizumiuchiha."

Sakura blinked. "Wha-...what was that last part?"

"Uh... well. Here's the thing," he said, sitting up and getting into his 'storytime' pose as Sakura called it. She bit down a smile, propping herself up like an attentive listener. "So, I went over and picked Sasuke-teme up and he was _super_ mad cause it was like _really_ early and he hates being up early. Anyways, his older brother heard him swearing and came to check. But Itachi-san was training with his cousin and that girl Izumi-san, and they were like _'what are you two up to today'_ and I told 'em about our Bonding Day and Shisui-san offered to cook us all breakfast but like we weren't _sure_ if you wanted to leave the apartment today since Shisui-san said it's your day off so I suggested we come over here and do it and _then_ we all ran into Kakashi-sensei wandering around the village and he invited himself _saying_ he missed seeing his favorite students and want to spend time with us, but he's _really_ here for the free food. _Then_ outside your apartment we saw Hinata-chan and Ino-chan and they wanted to do a breakfast with you too so we invited them up." He grinned and Sakura cocked her head to the side, wondering _does Naruto ever breathe?_ "Ya, we're all here."

Sakura pursed her lips, flicking through her mental list of _'how to kill Naruto without actually killing him'_. She let out a slow breath, throwing the covers off her body, smacking the blonde in the face. "Since you volunteered _my_ apartment, _you're_ the one that's going to do all the dishes."

He jumped up. "Yea'! I can do that!" He took a hesitant step forward, fingers wrapped around her upper arm. "So... you're... not mad... right?"

She hated it when he looked like a kicked dog. It made staying mad at him _really_ hard. "...I won't be mad if there's a steaming cup of black coffee waiting out there for me," she replied nonchalantly, turning around to dig through her closet for a pair of loose pants and a cleaner top.

He was out of her room before she turned around, finding what she was looking for. Slipping the clothes on, and giving her face a quick wash, she couldn't help but wonder how the hell he managed to convince Sasuke to come to _her_ apartment.

Stepping out into the hallway, the noise was amplified, sounds of laughter and dishes clattering led her straight into her kitchen that opened up to a large living room. The apartment was almost too much for her budget, but it was a higher rise that looked over the tops of the other buildings, with large windows to view the city lights. It was a two bedroom with an en-suite bathroom and walk-in closet.

A steal, if she was being honest.

"Good morning!" Various voices rang out when she walked into the room. Four Uchiha, one Hatake, one Hyūga, one Yamanaka and one Uzumaki were all milling about the room, picking off food from plates Shisui set down, sipping cups of coffee or tea, chatting. She swore she had never had this many people in her apartment before, it was a little overwhelming.

Like an offering, Naruto came forward with the biggest cup of coffee she had ever seen and presented it to her. She took it from him, and gave him a grateful look, reaching up to ruffle his hair. The boy had grown like a weed and now towered over her at five foot nine. Sasuke had finally hit his stride and got that belated growth spurt Mikoto said happened to Uchiha men.

She took a spot at her island counter, both hands wrapped around the warm cup, inhaling the scent of fresh coffee. _Oh happy days._ Another figure took a seat beside her and she nodded her head in greeting. "Sensei."

"Yo." He said, raising a hand. "I haven't been your sensei in years, Sakura-chan. Y'know you can just call me Kakashi, right?"

She shrugged. "There's only three of us in this entire village that _get_ to call you Kakashi-sensei, I think I might hold onto that privilege a little longer."

Dear old Kakashi-sensei never took on another set of students after them, swearing they had ruined teaching for him for the rest of his life. Sakura knew it was because he had grown attached to them, and couldn't imagine giving that kind of special attention to anyone else. The man was a suck.

Shisui, Head Chef, set down a fresh plate of bacon with a secret smile at her before turning back to the eggs. She reached out to grab a piece before Naruto got wind and it was all gone. "I heard you're taking the ANBU Trials." Kakashi commented innocently.

All conversation halted and Sakura wanted to beat her head against the counter. _Damn it, Kakashi-sensei!_ She had decided a few weeks ago, but never got around to mentioning it to anyone. She was going to tell everyone just before the Jōnin exams, but with her stupid sensei and his stupid big mouth... looks like the cat's out of the bag.

"Eh? You decided for sure, Sacchan?!" Shisui exclaimed, turning around, a spatula gripped in one hand.

Izumi squealed, coming over to hug her tightly. "I'm so happy for you! Shu-tan was right, you're going to be an amazing addition."

While Itachi didn't say anything, he nodded at her with a small lift of his lips and she tried not to flush at his approval. Things were finally back on track with the two of them.

Her two best friends looked at each other, but Sakura didn't have time to figure out what that look meant.

"You haven't even passed the Jōnin exams." Sasuke snapped, curled up on the couch. Sakura gave him a look that said he didn't look nearly as imposing as he thought he did, wrapped up in a blanket on her couch, propped up with pillows with sleep still in his eyes.

"I _know_ that, Sasuke. I'm taking them after I pass."

Kakashi, noticing that things were beginning to spark between his two former students, cleared his throat to bring attention back to him. "Sakura-chan, you're a good medic, why not just stick with that?"

Tearing her eyes off her childish teammate, resisting the urge to stick her tongue out at him, she inhaled her coffee and set it down. "Because I want to try something new."

Kakashi sighed, and she knew that sigh. It was his disapproving, _you're acting like an idiot_ sigh he gave Naruto every two minutes. "ANBU isn't something _new_ you just try. It's-"

Sakura narrowed her eyes, the temperature of the room dropping a few degrees. "Hard, _tough_ , not for the weak-minded, gory, demands sacrifice, a shinobi suicide squad, something a girl like me has _no business even thinking about_ ," she snapped, standing up. "I _know_ this. Every time someone finds out about the Jōnin exams or the ANBU trials, they always tell me the same _damn_ thing over and over again. I'm sick of it!"

"Ne... Sakura-chan..." Naruto hesitantly called, looking around the room to all the wide eyes staring at her outburst. "He _is_ right, it's dangerous for a girl like you."

Her lip curled into a disgusted sneer. "Girl like me? A girl that doesn't have a Dōjutsu kekkei genkai, or a powerful clan to pass along _hiden_ techniques? Why the _hell_ does blood matter if _I'm_ willing to make sacrifices for my village?" Sakura's heart began to squeeze when she didn't see a single face that was on her side, except for Itachi, Shisui and Izumi who were pointedly keeping out of this conversation. After all, this was a family dispute.

Poor Hinata looked almost ashamed, but knowing her as long as Sakura had, she still saw that small measure of disapproval in her smile. Apparently Jōnin had become sort of okay, but ANBU was definitely not. "We... we care about you, Sakura-chan. You could die," Hinata called out softly, wringing her hands together.

"I could die getting groceries, what does it matter?" She pointed to Sasuke on the couch. "If he told any of you that he was taking the ANBU trials, you probably would have thrown a party for him, clapped him on the back and congratulated him," her tone dripping with disdain and Sasuke had the gall to look appalled. "Why can't you do the same for me? I am a good medic nin, but I can be a great jonin, or an even greater ANBU."

Ino pipped up, "Honestly, you're a _way_ better medic than you are a combat nin."

"No, _shut up_." She pointed at Ino, and then turned the pointed finger back to her sensei. "I am doing this. I am taking the exams and I am taking the trials, and if anyone, _anyone"_ she turned around the room making sure Sasuke, Ino and Hinata saw how serious she was, "tells me one more time that it's dangerous and that I have no business taking them, I will cut them. I will cut them out of my life, you will cease to exist to me, you will be _dead to me_."

She grabbed her light winter jacket and slipped on a pair of shoes.

"I thought out of anyone in my life, my best friends, my teammates and my sensei would be the ones to support me, but I guess I was wrong."

The door slammed shut behind her.

* * *

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A/N:

 _You're in a graveyard, late at night, a crumpled piece of paper in your hands. The fog is beginning to settle in, and strange noises begin to freak you out. But you persevere, your need to find the author's grave is important. Because how dare they abandon their story for months. You're curious as to whether or not they're alive, if they'll ever continue the story._

 _It's there, the grave, hidden in the shadows, overgrown with weeds and vines._

 _Then you hear it, the sound of hands clawing at dirt. You jump back, just as a hand breaks free from the Earth. I claw my way further up, my head breaking through, gasping for air. "I live!" I choke out through mouthfuls of dirt, throwing a stack of papers at you. You pick it up, it's a new chapter to the story. You give me a dirty look, telling me not to take so long next time. You leave, and I'm left wondering how I'll pull the rest of my body out of the grave because my upper body is seriously weak.  
_

* * *

All joking aside, I am alive. I have come back from the dead. I haven't forgotten this story and I've read through the couple dozen of reviews I've received in my absence and I teared up a bit. Thank you for the support. Be sure to leave feedback on your way out of the graveyard. The crow will take the reviews.


	19. Chapter 16

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* * *

He found her.

Easily.

But she never doubted he wouldn't.

He was one of the best trackers out there that wasn't an Inuzuka.

"Sakura," he sighed and she stiffened against the snow-covered tree she leaned against.

"Don't."

" _Sakura,"_ he tried again, taking a step closer to her.

She turned to him, tears burning at the corners of her eyes. "Please..." she begged, "Itachi...just... _don't_."

But he was either indifferent to her pleas, or heartless. "They care about you."

Sakura scoffed, hands on her hips and staring up at the sunlight soaked morning sky. "Just say it, Itachi." She bit out. " _'Sakura, you're not good enough. Sakura, this is too dangerous. Sakura, I was wrong about you. Sakura, you're-'_ " His arms were around her, pulling her tight against him. He was warm, and she never realized how cold she had become. One hand secured her around her waist, the other stroking through her hair. Her chest tightened, all those emotions she had tried to keep locked down inside were threatening to spill out.

She was hurt. She was _angry_.

 _Why can't they support me? Why can't they see that I can do this? First my mother, now my team, my best friends._

All the people she had grown up with were gone. Her support network, her chosen family, the constant pillars in her life...had all chipped away. Fallen, left her scrambling for any kind of support she could find.

"They care about you, but I care about you too. I told you that I would support you in whatever you decided to do." His voice rumbled in his chest, vibrating against her ear. She felt all the earlier tension slip away as she melted into his embrace. "Sometimes..." he sighed, "sometimes people don't always agree with change very well. You are achieving things that they never thought possible for you, perhaps it scares them."

Her laugh was sardonic, and he pulled back to meet her face to face. "If they do truly care about you, they'll come around. They'll support you, and they'll come to love the Sakura that is Jōnin, and ANBU." His thumb stroked across her cheek, catching any stray tears that managed to sneak out. She leaned into his touch, breathing in. He was the solid shoreline in her tsunami life.

In four months, things had changed so much for the both of them. She started as a girl in the bar. A nervous, stuttering, self-deprecating mess of a human that was star-struck by an Uchiha God to _now_ , where she could physically touch the man she had put so high on a pedestal. Talk to him as a close friend, be _something_ in his life. Four months was not a lot in shinobi standards, but it was a lifetime in their relationship. She had found belonging in him.

She had found home.

"You'd make a great okaa-san, Ita-chan!" Shisui called out across the training field, arm in arm with Izumi, both wearing amused faces. Sakura flushed, taking a step back but restricted by Itachi's tightened grip on her waist.

Izumi slipped from Shisui's arm, coming to wrap her body around Sakura's back in a tight hug. The fresh scent of lavender surrounding them, calming her. "We love you, Flower."

Emotions flooded her chest. Izumi was the second person she had confided in about her mother's dis-ownership, and her father's death. The pair had gotten drunk off cheap wine, spilling all their secrets tucked into corners of a couch, with freshly painted toenails and drying face masks. The older girl understood, having had a difficult time with her own parents as well. Even if she was chosen as birth to be a Clan Wife, they didn't agree with her going out and becoming a kunoichi, Jōnin and ANBU. Izumi said they fought a lot, disowned her multiple times, until she made a promise that satisfied both of them. They would let her do whatever she wanted until she turned twenty-five. After that, she would put her kunoichi lifestyle away, and prepare to be the Clan Wife.

Their friendship has changed, taken on a deeper meaning. Her father's old nickname coming from Izumi didn't hurt. It made her feel warm, feel loved. Just like her father did.

The oldest Uchiha was the last to join the strange group huddle, trying but failing to wrap his arms around all three of them. Sakura began to laugh at how ridiculous they must look to outsiders, with her stuck in the middle being at least four inches shorter. "If you ever feel down again Sacchan," Shisui said from somewhere above her. "Remember that you have your very own Uchiha cuddle puddle ready and waiting for you."

Tears began to slip from her eyes and she couldn't tell if its from laughing so hard, or being loved like this. "Plea-...please don't ever say that again," she choked out between giggles, Izumi nuzzling the top of Sakura's head.

"Sakura-chan?"

She stiffened, peaking out through the tangle of arms to see a flash of blonde coming towards them. The Uchiha's began to fall away, except for Itachi's constant presence at her waist.

"Naruto." Sakura breathed, watching his gaze flicker from her face to Itachi's then back.

"Can we talk?" His tone was more serious than she had ever heard come from him before. It was undeniable how nervous it made her. Nodding quickly, she pulled away from Itachi with a pat on his chest. _I'll be okay._

The rest of the self-proclaimed Uchiha cuddle puddle drifted away to the tree line, while she tucked her hands into her jacket pocket. She shuffled, her toe digging into the thick layer of snow on the group. "Nar-"

"You're right."

Her head snapped up, startled. His face was smoothed into a serious expression, his eyes hard, fists clenched at his sides. He looked so much older than what he was. He looked so much like his father.

"I-... what?"

Taking a step forward, he reached out, his hand curling around her forearm, tugging until her hand popped out of her pocket. His long fingers wrapped around hers. She never realized how much darker his skin was to hers. "I was wrong, Sakura-chan. To ever deny you the support you needed. As your teammate, I should have been the first one to be there." Sakura had to nearly crane her neck back to keep eye contact with him. His tone was low, rumbling, echoing with ghosts. "You were the very first one to be there for me, when we found out about Kurama. You never wavered, never scorned me. You treated me the exact same as you always did." The corner of his lip twitched into a smile, and she found herself smiling back. "You never doubted me, so I should have never doubted you."

Tears began to burn at her eyes again, and she took a breath. Throughout this entire thing, Naruto had never physically chosen a side. Always sitting somewhere in the middle between her and Sasuke. While the two boys were emotionally brothers, spending vastly more time together than her and Naruto, this was the first time he had ever chosen her. "Naruto, it's okay."

His face twisted up, shaking side to side. "No, it's not. Teammates have each other's back. And I didn't have yours when you needed it the most. So please," Naruto sighed, leaning down to press his forehead against hers. "Forgive me for being a bad teammate, and an even worse best friend."

She never thought the childish, pranking, attention starved boy of their youth would become a man like this. He had grown, and Sakura felt her heart swell at how proud she was of him. The man who she was proud to admit was the closest thing she would ever get to a brother.

Sakura slipped her hand out from his, reaching up to wrap her arms around his shoulders and pulling tight. "Forgiven, you idiot." His arms snaked around her waist, his resulting sigh of relief in her ear. "But," she said, trying to control her voice into something very serious. Startled, Naruto pulled back. "My kitchen better be spotless when I get back, or there will be hell to pay."

The blonde let out a soft laugh. "Believe it," he grinned, wrapping his arm around her again.

A quick glance to the treeline, she noticed that Shisui and Izumi had disappeared. A sixth sense making the hair on the back of her neck prick was her only incoming warning. "Wa-wait, Naruto, quick, let go!"

Before he even had time to comprehend what she said, two pairs of arms had wrapped themselves around Sakura and Naruto, squishing them together.

Shisui and Izumi had effectively trapping them both, gesturing and calling to Itachi who kept to the treeline, shaking his head ardently. "It's not an Uchiha cuddle puddle without you, Ita-kun!"

Eventually, with enough promises and bribes of sweets, he came back over. Slowly, _reluctantly_ , dragging his feet.

"This is too many Uchiha's." Sakura groaned, muffled from somewhere deep in the middle.

* * *

-x-

* * *

A/N:

I write this half-trapped in my grave, so I apologize for any dirt marks. Thank you for the support, and the beautiful analysis many of you have given. So many of you are spot on actually, so that means I'm doing my job as a writer! I'm glad things are still clear, concise after all my months away.

Mr. Crow is still around here somewhere to grab your reviews if you decide to leave the graveyard. If not, pull up a nice dusty spot of grass and chat with me.


	20. Excerpt IV

-x-

* * *

"Oh my gods, how cute is this?" Ino gushed, picking up a scrap of clothing Hinata swore couldn't cover a leg, let alone a full body like it was advertised to do.

She shook her head quickly. "Um...I don't-...I don't think so..."

Ino rolled her eyes. "Gods, Hinata. You seriously need to live a little. You totally have the body for this," she grinned, holding the scraps up to the Hyūga's body. Hinata's face flushed.

"N-...I'm... I don't think it would be approved by my father."

Cue another eye roll and a loud sigh. "You are so boring. If stupid Sakura was here, she would be all over it."

The mention of the third member of their sacred trio put a damper on the mood.

Hinata wrung her hands together, broaching the subject that her best friend refused to talk about ever since the breakfast incident last week. "Ino-san..."

"She's being such a bitch. I've left like how many messages for her, inviting her to self-care Sunday and she can't even spend five minutes with us? She seriously needs to chill. Her temper-tantrum was childish and ruined a perfectly good breakfast." Ino tossed the dress back on the rack and wandered into the street, the warm afternoon sun making the mid-winter day bearable. "I don't even know why I have to get her a 'forgive me' present. I wasn't wrong. It's not like she'll ever make it into ANBU."

"Ah! Isn't that Sakura-san over there?" Hinata's sharp eyes picking up a patch of pink in the crowd, her best friend's name on the tip of her tongue to call before she faltered.

"Who's that with her?" Ino asked, narrowing her eyes until they landed on a vaguely familiar brunette bombshell with her arm around Sakura's. "It's that girl...uh, what's-her-face..."

"I think it's Izumi-san?"

Shisui Uchiha popped up out of the crowd, throwing his arm familiarly around Sakura's shoulders, earning a ring of laughter from both girls. Ino's blood began to boil, watching as the man she loved for years, that was always just out of her reach, out of her seductive wiles, press a lingering kiss to Sakura's temple. Combined with how Izumi wrapped her around around Sakura's waist, whispering something in her hear that made the pink-hair girl laugh in a way that Ino had never seen her laugh before.

That was _her_ best friend. She used to be the only one that could make Sakura laugh.

"Let's go, Hinata."

Startled, the Hyūga flicked her gaze between Ino and Sakura. "Bu-...but? What about Sakura-san?" She asked, stumbling after the speed waking blonde, heading in the complete opposite direction.

"Sakura who?"

* * *

-x-

* * *

A/N:

So if any of you haven't noticed, I changed the pairing to ItaSakuShi.

And I have been steadily losing followers and favorites since.

Kinda sad, disheartening really but...I hinted at this chapters ago. There was a huge amount of support _for_ it.

Oh well.

I'll just keep doing my thing.


	21. Chapter 17

-x-

* * *

"You need to be faster," Shisui snapped, running a frustrated hand through his untamed hair. "You are not settling the chakra at the surface of your skin."

Sakura was panting and soaked in sweat, and a little bit of blood. She pulled her hands up to make the tiger sign, focusing on making sure there was a perfect, even distribution of chakra along her skin. It was the key to getting a flawless movement. The body flicker was no longer demanding on her chakra after Shisui spent a week straight making her Step, as she began to call it, from one end of the village to the other hundreds of times to build up her reserves so she could move short distances quicker, easier.

 _But_ having to Step across the same training field for a five hour training session was still exhausting.

She knew that outsiders would see Shisui as a cold, heartless, cruel sensei. Berating her, goading her into anger so that she would forget herself, and mess up. Just so he could punish her with even more Steps, or hours of kata with her tantō. He would push her until she exhausted her reserves, and she was no longer a stranger to passing out.

And she completely loved it all.

It meant he was taking her seriously, she never wanted anything more from a sensei. Kakashi never gave her that. Even if she excelled more than her teammates, could climb trees on the first try, walk on water without practice. He never pushed her, never gave her more than he thought a girl like her could handle. He never even trained hand-to-hand with her, instead telling her to train with a dummy.

But with Shisui's training, she was getting everything Kakashi had given the boys, and more. Sakura was so grateful. Especially with the exams starting to close in with less than three months left. She felt like she _still_ hadn't learned anything except how to take a hit and how to recover from chakra exhaustion. But she was grateful none-the-less.

She Stepped all around him, attacking with a dull-edged tantō which he easily avoided or dodged. At _least_ now she was good enough that he had to keep his eyes open at all times. But not good enough for the sharingan. Yet.

"You still leave smoke in your path," he snarled, catching her chin with his bare elbow. It was winter, but training always got her overheating in a jacket. The pair of them had abandoned their outer layers, training in shirts and loose pants. "The technique means _nothing_ if you cannot flicker your body without a sound, leaving _nothing_ behind."

She Stepped back to the edge of the training field, foot slipping on the snow, hands on her knees, trying to breathe. Tongue peaking out to lick up a drop of blood from her newly split lip. He _was_ right. She still left the smallest puff of smoke at her feet when she moved that would be completely noticeable if she were ever to go up against missing-nin, or enemies. She had managed to coat her chakra, to reduce the drag and resistance from atmosphere, but getting it to surround her feet, and stay there, proved the most troublesome.

Taking a calming deep breath, she moved.

After-images very faintly appeared when she Stepped all around him, her see-through copies mimicking her moves of slicing down with the weapon at different intervals.

"You are wasting my time, Sakura." Her sword caught nothing but air as he dodged. "It's been nearly five months, and you have learned nothing." His voice was cold, cruel, without a hint of the man she had come to adore. His eyes were sharp, narrowed and cut through her. When he hit back, it was hard and fast. He never pulled back. "You spend all day _fawning_ over my cousin."

She narrowed her eyes. "I don't."

"You do. You think that he will choose _you_ to be his wife."

She growled, putting more force into the downward swing of her sword. "Shut up."

He disappeared, reforming himself on the opposite end of the field. "Izumi was able to master the body flicker in weeks. You're just trying to be some pathetic carbon copy." He dodged another strike. "What makes you think the Uchiha clan would ever accept someone like you when they have her?"

" _SHUT UP!_ " She roared, fury itching underneath her skin.

 _Stay calm, Sakura._

"They go on dates, they spend long hours into the evening together," he drawled, ducking under her hit. "He already has one very accomplished kunoichi on his arm, what makes you think he'll want someone like you?"

To any passerby, it would be nearly impossible to discern who was who. All there was were blurring shapes flickering all around the training field, the shatter of the ground, and uprooting of trees.

"You are unworthy."

Her hit barely connected.

"Go back to the hospital, that's the only thing you're good for now."

She roared and moved. She abandoned her tantō to fight with her body, her fists. Going back to the basics of what she knew, of what Tsunade had drilled into her for hours and hours on the training field. Her shins connected with his forearms, her fists with his legs, an elbow found his chin. "I am worthy!" Sakura seethed, hitting him again and again, forgetting to concentrate on _how_ to do the body flicker, instead just _doing it_. Meshing the body flicker, and her tactical assault together. He was getting pushed back, having to bring up more body limbs to block her hits, eyes darting all around him to figure out where she was. "I am an Akatsuki killer, and the Godaime's apprentice," she growled, stepping up behind him, sweeping her leg to catch his, before slamming her fist down, opening a small crevice.

She stepped, and stepped, and stepped, until every time Shisui turned, there was no one there and she was always just behind him. He flickered away, and she chased. He tried to run, but she was always just _right_ there. Waiting for him, her kunai catching skin, fist catching limbs. Canyons opening up, threatening to swallow them both. "I am strong and powerful and I am fucking _worthy_!"

She finally stopped, blinking and breathing, straddling his body with a kunai digging into his neck. The blood dripping down was as bright as the red pinwheel in his eyes that faded out. His smile was slow to form. "You did it, Sacchan." He whispered.

Sakura took a deep breath, realization finally dawning on her. Settling back on her haunches, she tossed the kunai away and pressed a healing hand to his neck, blinking back tears. The wound was really deep and she couldn't stop crying.

Tears of joy.

Tears of guilt.

Tears of _relief_.

"You used the sharingan." She murmured, happily, and a little bit snotty.

He nodded, reaching up to hold the hand that was on his neck, entwining their fingers together. "I had to. I couldn't see you anymore." He laughed. "Even with the sharingan, you were barely anything but a blur. A flash in the corner of my eye." His smile grew wider. "My body flicker creates after images, but yours... you just... _disappear_."

Laughter began to bubble up in her, as she gripped his hand a little tighter. "I did it." She flopped down on top of him, exhausted, hugging him the best she could in their position. "I did it."

He let out a pained cough. "You-uh... you mind getting up? I think you're sitting on a broken rib," he choked out. With a startled apology on her lips, she shot up, pulling her up with him. Immediately pressing a hand to his ribs, feeling the ones that were poking out the wrong way. Systematically, she touched each one, making sure they were healed. She _should_ feel guilty for causing him so much pain, taking it a bit too far.

But the victory buzz was still flooding through her when she finally stopped to look him in the eyes. He grinned widely at her, toothy, crinkling at the corner of his eyes. "You did it."

And she _did_.

She bested _him_ , and he had to use the _sharingan._

Even Sasuke couldn't get him to use it when they trained together.

Her emotions got away from her again, that pure happiness flooded her body. She wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him down to her level. It was supposed to be just a kiss on the cheek, like he's done to her, but he turned at the last second and their lips met. He was just as startled by the action as she was, Shisui taking a few seconds to clue in before he was kissing her back in a way that made her toes curl, and her stomach clench and _oh wow, I didn't even realize a kiss could be like this._ He nipped, tongue running the seam of her lips. She allowed him, and any cohesive thought she had was completely gone. His arms wrapped themselves around her waist, and she could barely even think about where her body started and his ended.

She was forgetting to be mindful of his bruised body when he kissed her like that. All she could do was hang onto his neck as he lay them both back down on the ground. He took the lead, setting a nearly fervent pace, like a man starved. At least five months of desire had built up for him, for her too. One of his hands sliding slowly down her arm, dipping below the hemline of her tank top. His touch was fire, and she was burning. "A-ah," she whimpered into his mouth, and he pulled back immediately.

She had a rib out, poking painfully at the surface of her skin.

"We should take care of that," he murmured softly, but she couldn't keep her eyes off his lips. They were softer than she thought, warm too. Plump, and molded against hers. He knew how to kiss, and she wanted him to show her again. Again maybe, somewhere other than her lips? Ino once told her that getting kissed on the neck was almost better than an orgasm. Something about erogenous zones?

"Sacchan?"

"Hm?" She snapped back to attention as Shisui didn't bother hiding his grin, his damn _knowing_ grin.

"Your rib? It's out."

"Oh. Uh...yeah, I'll uh-... yeah." She cleared her throat, slipping out from underneath him to stand up, pressing a hand to her rib.

He stopped her by covering her hand with his. She looked up, confused when he gave her that crinkled smile. "I can do it."

Raising her eyebrow, she pulled her hand away. He leaned back down, covering her lips with his and she melted into him. His other hand was up in her hair, gripping the back of her neck, nails scraping along the sensitive skin, sending tingles all the way down her body and _gods, where did he learn to kiss like this because I would not mind doing this for hours_ until there was a loud snap.

 _"Fuck!"_ She swore, gasping, looking down where he had pushed it back in. _"Ow!"_

He laughed, pulling away to pick up their training gear. "C'mon, dinner's on me tonight."

Shisui was nearly skipping away, radiating happiness but she was left with faint tears in her eyes. "That _really_ hurt!"

"Don't be a baby." He half turned back to give her a small lift of his lips. "Just focus on the kiss."

She scoffed. _Just for that, I'm going to pretend that kiss never happened. Jerk._ "What kiss?" She was rubbing the abused spot, staring at the ground until she bumped right into his chest. The bags in his hands dropped to the ground before gripping both sides of her face. He leaned down, close enough she could feel his breath, the faintest touch of his lips on hers.

"I can show you again, if you'd like?" He rasped, sending a delicious tingle straight through her. "Can't promise we'll make dinner if we do it again though."

She was burning, and this time it was in the form of a full-body blush. They just had their first kiss! She didn't know _shit_ about sex.

Okay, that's a lie. She knew, from studying, and Ino's...disgustingly descriptive stories about it.

She squirmed in his iron-cage hold, squeezing her eyes tightly closed.

"That's what I thought." His laugh made her feel like she was a virgin maiden, and he the experienced older man. Which...wasn't actually completely wrong, now that she stopped to think about it.

* * *

-x-

* * *

A/N: Round of applause everyone! We finally got somewhere in this relationship. I always knew Shisui would get the first kiss. He is the oldest after all.

Thank you for all the support on the changing of the pairing! My little trio will find their happiness. Eventually. Also, no the title won't change. Partly because I'm lazy, partly because uh... I dunno, Them and I _sounds_ weird.


	22. Halloween Special

-x-

Halloween Special

-x-

* * *

She didn't have to open her eyes to know someone was looking at her.

"Sakura-chan," Naruto whispered, shaking her arm. She pulled the blanket up higher over her face.

"Nope."

She heard Naruto's huff, before he was shaking her again. Harder this time. "Sakura-chan!"

 _"No-o-o-pe!"_ She was a mole, burrowing deeper under her warm blankets.

He was pouting, she could _hear_ it. Groaning, she pulled the blanket down a bit to peak at him. The room was bright with sunlight, clearly after mid-day. "We _literally_ just had Team Bonding Day, so whatever you think you're doing here-"

"It's Halloween!" Naruto grinned, flopping down beside her. "Miko-chan said she was organizing a big party, also said _I_ had to make sure _you_ got out of bed for it."

The blanket found its way back over her head. "It's my day off, I am not leaving this bed." She huffed. "Also, stop calling Sasuke's mother Miko-chan."

Naruto shook her arm again, leaning close to whisper. "Miko-chan also said if I couldn't get you out of bed, I had to use _extraordinary_ measures."

"Naruto," she scowled, muffled from the sheets, "I am politely and firmly telling you to fu-"

There was an incoming yell, then a body landed directly on hers, knocking the air right out of her. The bed shook, the frame groaning, threatening to give.  
"Sacchan!"

Wheezing, she pulled her blanket off, glaring down Naruto. "You used Shisui?!"

The blonde shrugged, watching as the older Uchiha nuzzled into Sakura's body. "Miko-chan specifically said 'any means necessary'."

Managing to get an arm free, she smacked them both on body parts she could reach. "What part of _day off_ don't you understand?!" She snapped. From the corner of her eye, she saw another figure looming outside her door, before it too, came running, tossing itself on the bed. The frame groaned even louder and Sakura had horrified images of it breaking apart.

"Sakura-chan!" Izumi giggled, wiggling her way into the pile of bodies on the way too small bed. "I picked out our costumes! We are going to look _so_ amazing!"

Sakura could feel tears form at the corners of her eyes. _I just want a day off, why can't I just have a day off?_

Itachi cleared his throat, leaning against the door-frame.

"Ita-kun!" Izumi called. "Come join us!"

"NO!" Sakura nearly shrieked. One more body and her bed frame would collapse. Since she was taking time off active duty to train, her funds were seriously limited and she... she _liked_ this bed frame. She pointed a finger at him, narrowing her eyes. " _No."_

He hid a laugh behind a cough, gesturing behind him. "I have lunch from my mother, and there's a package here for you, Sakura-san."

One by one each body left her bed, and her room. The bed frame settled back into its original state with a squeak at the hinges. Getting up, she patted it softly, whispering an apology before going to the kitchen.

Plates were being handed out, the fresh scent of rice balls and oden filled the room. Her stomach growled as she took a seat at the island counter, accepting the bowl Itachi slid her way. He motioned to the small package beside her.

Frowning, she picked it open, noting Ino's familiar scrawl on a note.

 _Uchiha costume party tonight! Wear this! :)_

Ripping open the delicate packaging, Sakura pulled off the lid. A huge shot of irritation went straight through her, and she slammed the lid back on, tossing it across the room. It landed somewhere in the corner of the living room.

"Sakura-chan?" Izumi questioned, eyes wide. "You okay?"

Frowning, Sakura stuffed her mouth with noodles. "Fine."

Naruto picked up the package, opening it. He cocked his head to the side, picking up a strange antenna from the box, along with a tube of reddish-brown face paint. "Uh, what is this?"

"A cockroach costume."

Izumi's brow furrowed. "Is that supposed to mean something?"

"It's a joke. A bad joke."

Shisui hummed, picking up the box and tossing it directly in the trash. "Well, no bugs tonight. I'm sure that Aburame wouldn't be pleased about that."

" _I_ have everyone's costume ready," Izumi gestured to the six separate gift bags on the couch. "Everyone has a name on theirs, and I am expecting full complacency!"

Naruto crept up to the packages, rifling through until he found his name, reaching down into the bag until Izumi hit him square in the face with a balled up napkin. "No peaking!"

The blonde pouted. "But why are they here so early if we can't look?"

Izumi got up, riffling around in another bag near the front door, pulling out alcohol bottles. "So we can all spend time together, watch some movies and drink!"

"Who's the sixth bag for?"

The brunette rolled her eyes. "Sasuke, but _apparently_ he's run off somewhere." Turning to the older brother and cousin, she raised an eyebrow. "Go find him, and bring him back here. I want that costume on him before the party."

* * *

-x-

* * *

The tightest pair of leather pants finally slipped over Sakura's hips, and she was able to button them close, letting out the breath she was holding. "I'm going to bust it open if I _breathe_ wrong, Iz." She groaned, putting on the corset top. It was really loose around her body, but the sleeves were large, slipping over her shoulders and half-way down her arm, with a low and wide neckline. She was showing more skin than she ever had.

Izumi, one hand adjusting a pair of dark sparkly earrings, began to pull Sakura's strings tighter, knocking the breath right out of her. She stumbled over, grabbing on the back of a chair for support. "Why-" she squeaked. "Why am I being stuffed into clothing like this?"

"Because," Izumi huffed, pulling tighter, "we need to look realistic. Every woman in the-" she grunted, "seventeenth century wore corsets."

Sakura's vision at the corner of her eyes was beginning to fade to black. "They-... they wore leather pants too?" She wheezed.

"No," Izumi finally finished pulling, tying it off. "That's my own personal modern touch." The brunette let out an approved whistle, gesturing to the massive amounts of cleavage the corset gave Sakura. "Now, put these on. They go on the top, third tooth on either side."

Sakura caught the small metal casing, popping it open. "Are these fangs?" She frowned, picking it up and slipping it on the appropriate tooth. "Why are we going all out for this?"

After putting on her own, Izumi grinned. "Vampires have fangs. And because I haven't celebrated Halloween in over five years. It's my _favorite_ holiday."

The last task was taming Sakura's hair. While she never did much to it in the first place, Izumi used oils to smooth it down, parting it so that more fell on one side, than the other and tucked the latter behind her ear, showing off some black diamond studs.

"Can I look now?" She asked, when they were both slipping on heeled black boots. Izumi nodded, gesturing to the mirror she had covered while they got ready.

Sakura... she didn't recognize the woman in the reflection. Her body was tiny, but have the most amazing curves. Plump breasts that nearly threatened to spill out from the top, eyes hooded with black shadow and liner, lips curved with dark red lipstick that surprisingly didn't clash with her hair color, the hint of her new fangs peaking out.

"Shit." She breathed. Izumi came up beside her, wrapping an arm around her waist.

"Wait 'til you see the boys."

* * *

-x-

* * *

The longer she wore the corset, the easier it was to breathe until she was so comfortable, she forgot she was wearing clothing that was three sizes too small for her. She sipped the sangria mix Izumi somehow found time to make up, sitting on her kitchen island, the sun dipping below the skyline, and night finally falling.

"Ne... Sakura-chan, I can't get this to-" Naruto grumbled, coming through the front door, fiddling with the cape tie around his shoulders before he looked up. She could tell he was fighting the urge to let his gaze fall to her pushed up breasts and she laughed.

"Come here, I'll tie it for you," she gestured, reaching out to adjust it around his shoulders. That hair of his was slicked back, not a piece out of place. When he had it like that, he looked much older, more mature. Sakura cocked her head to the side, wondering what he would look like if he cut most of the length off?

Patting his shoulder, she gave him a once over. "Black really suits you, Naruto." Sakura commented, grabbing a second glass of sangria for him to drink. He had been given a black button up with silver accent buttons, and a pair of fitted black pants. Some boots and a pair of gloves finished the ensemble and he looked _really_ good.

Poor Hinata probably wouldn't even be able to look at him.

This time, there was a polite knocking on the door before the other two Uchiha let themselves in, stopping to take in the others in the room. Shisui let out a low whistle, eyes landing right on her breasts. She resisted to roll her eyes.

"You look amazing," he grinned, tucking his hand into his pockets. Izumi had given him a loose white shirt to wear, with nearly half the buttons undone, showing the expansive pale skin underneath. He grinned, and his fangs poked through.

Itachi was also given a similar button-up to Naruto, but he left more than a few buttons at the top undone, his hair unbound and pulled off to the side.

Sakura would be lying if she didn't think they looked like complete arm candy.

Izumi came rushing out of the room in her leather body suit and floor-length cape around her shoulders, trying to down as much of the sangria as she could, gesturing a thumbs up to the boys.

"Yes, yes, we _all_ look drop-dead sexy, it's getting late and we need to _go,_ " she urged, shooing them all from the kitchen and out the door. "Where is that brother of yours?!"

* * *

-x-

* * *

It was a brisk walk to the Uchiha compound. The snow hadn't fallen yet, but the temperatures seemed to threaten it. They followed the crowds that were going their way, who made no effort to hide their gawking at the obviously well thought out group costume. The only thing that made Sakura feel better was that Izumi was showing _way_ more cleavage than she was.

Passing under a threshold lit up with pumpkins, tealights and streamers, they were met with a mini-festival. Arm in arm with Shisui, she gave him a raised eyebrow. "You Uchiha must _really_ love Halloween?"

He grinned, fang poking into his lip. "Nah, we just love festivals."

Instead of going to the house, they turned towards the compound square, where the music seemed to be coming from, and the crowds grew thicker. All around them were stalls with food, and gifts, last minute costumes and candy. In the middle was a stage where a band was playing.

"My mother should be around here somewhere," Itachi mentioned, looking around. "Ah." He pointed to a figure dressed in light brown leather with swords at her sides. Sakura nearly choked at how form-fitting the clothing was on the woman. She had only ever seen Mikoto in a loose yukata, muted in color.

Mikoto turned, all that long black hair piled into a messy bun, face lighting up, clasping her hands in front of her. "You all look _amazing_!" She gushed, reaching out to kiss her son and nephew on the cheek, and give each of the girls a hug.

"Mikoto-san, are you a vampire hunter?" Izumi asked slyly, eyeing the wooden stake at her hip.

Mischievousness at the corner of her lips, Mikoto shrugged. "Perhaps." She looked around the group and frowned. "Where's Sasuke-kun?"

The brunette frowned back. "We thought he was with you."

Mikoto sighed, waving the thought away. "No matter, come by the house when you're done here. I have lots of food and sangria waiting for you."

* * *

-x-

* * *

Ino found her leaning against a building with Naruto, sipping some kind of apple cider, commenting and gesturing at other people's costumes.

"Sakura?" Ino called, her lips down-turned with a frown. "What happened to the costume I gave you?"

Sakura, half-turning, took in the very expensive looking Geisha costume Ino had wrapped herself in. "You look nice," she commented.

"The _costume_ , Sakura," Ino stressed again. "The one I sent you? Why aren't you wearing that? It was funny."

Sakura looked down at herself. "Why would I wear a cockroach costume when Iz put together these outfits for us?"

The blonde began to puff up, that famous Yamanaka anger boiling. Sakura didn't know if it was the multiple cups of sangria mix in her blood, or the infectious atmosphere of the festival, but she wanted no part of whatever had Ino all riled up. This was the most fun she had had in a long time.

She couldn't possibly think that Sakura would have worn a pair of antennas, right?

"Hinata-chan!" Naruto exclaimed, rushing over to the Hyūga heiress wearing a long black dress with a wide-brimmed hat and carrying witch's broom. Taking a subtle step away from Ino, Sakura followed Naruto to Hinata with the majority of the Konoha 12.

"Gods, Sakura-chan!" TenTen exclaimed, gesturing. "Can you _breathe?!_ " Sakura pulled the girl into a hug and laughed.

"Just don't give me anything to eat, or I'll rip at the seams." The vampire warned, before commenting on how cute TenTen's acrobat costume was, and received a little juggling show in return.

They were all wearing various and amusing outfits but her favorite was Akamaru and Kiba's reversed Red Riding Hood and Big Bad Wolf costumes.

Shikamaru, though, was wearing a pair of cat ears. That was it. Just a plain black pair of cat ears that told Sakura he didn't have a costume, didn't _want_ a costume, but the group wouldn't let him go without.

* * *

-x-

* * *

The party found itself at the main house, playing games and sipping drinks. Sasuke was tracked down eventually, unsurprisingly _not_ wearing his costume. Not wearing any costume at all until Mikoto threatened he wouldn't get any of the special dinner plates he liked if he didn't at least _try_.

Someone found him a pair of dog ears, and he made himself scarce.

"Did you seriously just carve a smiley face into the pumpkin?" Shisui drawled, peaking over to Sakura's pumpkin.

She frowned, pulling away from him. "It's a happy face! He's _happy_ , look how wide his smile is." She looked over to his, before bursting out laughing. "Are you trying to carve your own face?"

"What, Shu-tan's doing what?" Izumi exclaimed, jumping up from across the table, pumpkin seeds still stuck to her hands where she had taken charge of gutting each pumpkin. "That doesn't look anything like you."

The oldest Uchiha frowned. "Yes it does. Look, it has my eyes."

The two girls made eye contact before both shaking their heads.

Naruto, tongue peaking out of his mouth, was completely absorbed in his own carving of a bowl of Ichiraku ramen.

Itachi was quietly carving away, small slivers of pumpkin falling away until he lit a candle, popped it in and turned the pumpkin around. Izumi let out a soft happy sigh. He had carved a tree with flowers falling down, the kanji for spring in the corner.

"Mikoto-san!" Sakura called, wiping her hands off on a cloth. "We have another one for you!"

The matriarch stepped out of the house, away from the other guests, grabbing her eldest son's work with a kiss on his head. "It's beautiful," she commented, taking it out to the front gates where already a dozen pumpkins lined the tops of the wooden fence.

Sakura took a sip of her drink, leaning back to pick at the pumpkin guts underneath her nails. Peaking up at the clock just inside the doors, she took another gulp of her drink. "The costume judging contest is in fifteen, do we need to get going?"

Izumi swore, rushing inside to look at the same. "Finish your drinks, then we gotta go." She wandered inside, mumbling about all the pumpkin stuck to her hands.

* * *

-x-

* * *

Sakura kicked off her boots, loosening the ties of her corset, half-propped up in the garden two-seater swing. The final fireworks were about to begin, and she was _exhausted_. The crowds in the square were completely ridiculous. The judging itself took over an hour, and standing that long in heels when she wore them maybe _twice_ in her life, left her feet screaming.

They won first, which Izumi was completely confident they would. She was gifted with a obnoxiously large basket of alcohol and candy that she joked about not sharing with the rest of the group.

"Here," Itachi gestured, placing a blanket on top of her, the temperature beginning to drop quickly. He lifted her legs, setting them down on his, his thumb finding the sole of her very achy feet. She whimpered. "Too much?" She shook her head and he continued.

Shisui and Izumi joined them next, somehow squeezing onto that seat _meant_ for _two_. Izumi curled into Itachi's lap, Shisui pulling Sakura's upper body onto his lap.

Naruto had disappeared sometime after the judging, no doubt chasing after Hinata who had come to congratulate him. But as Sakura guessed, she was _not_ able to look him in the face.

The first crackle of an orange colored firework lit up the sky. "This was nice," Sakura commented, yawning into her hand and snuggling under the blanket. Itachi was still rubbing his thumb into her foot.

"Mm," Izumi mumbled back, head nestled into the crook of Itachi's neck, eyes already beginning to flutter shut. Smiling fondly, Sakura nestled further into Shisui's body, his arm wrapped around her waist, the other running through her hair. She would lying if she didn't say she loved this.

She never realized how touch starved _she_ was until Shisui, Itachi and Izumi had become prominent figures in her life. The three Uchiha who had no sense of personal boundaries, or personal space.

"Is she this crazy about all the holidays, or...?" Sakura asked softly, craning her head to look up at her head rest. The fireworks painting his face yellow.

Shisui smiled down at her, leaning to press a kiss to her forehead. He was always just a bit more affectionate than usual when he had something to drink. "Her family never celebrated them. She never even knew they _existed_ until she was five. Her parents thought it would distract her from her studies." His hand was still running through her hair.

Itachi adjusted his hold on Izumi's body, moving a corner of the blanket around Sakura's body to cover Izumi's bare feet. "Just wait until Christmas," he sighed. "Last time we celebrated with her, we were about your age, and she had us all dressed up in elf costumes. Somehow she managed to convince my father to wear a Santa costume."

The two Uchiha shared a laugh, and Sakura couldn't even imagine a man like Fugaku Uchiha wearing something like that.

Her eyelids were beginning to get heavy, and she was fighting to keep them open. Even with the loud booming of the fireworks, it all became background noise once one of the boys kicked off the ground and got the swing lazily moving back and forth.

If a photo ever showed up of this delicate moment on Mikoto Uchiha's mantle place, blown up, and framed, no one commented on it.

* * *

-x-

* * *

A/N:

Happy Halloween! Go out, have fun, be safe.

If anyone is curious about the other's costumes:

Shino was wearing a full body biohazard hazmat suit.

Choji found a blown-up version of his favorite bag of chips, wore it, and ate from a smaller bag of chips.

Rock Lee went as a body builder, and unfortunately caused a lot of accidents because the bottle of baby oil in his pocket began to leak.

Neji was on a mission, but he would have gone as an pirate.


	23. Chapter 18

-x-

* * *

Sakura hummed softly, flipping through her ever increasing stack of papers on her desk. Finding a balance between her work life and her training life was getting harder now that she had mastered her own version of the body flicker. It took her months to learn a single technique that Shisui had drilled into her, so now he had so much more to show her.

Still, even if her body was aching, her chakra reserves never going up further than half-full, she was _happy_. Happy enough to hum, a skip in her step as she wandering the hospital halls, going from exam to exam. She was also, _maybe_ , still riding the high off their kiss.

"Good morning, I'll be conducting your-... Neji-san."

The stoic Hyūga let slip a half-smile, getting up to give her a short formal bow of greeting. She found herself mimicking a short bow back. "Good morning, Sakura-san." His voice soft as velvet.

Her gaze flicked from his name written in bold ink on her papers to the man himself, cursing herself for not paying attention to the one man she wanted to avoid. Whom she hadn't seen since that super awkward incident at the bar in the summer. She gestured to the exam table, pulling a rolling stool closer to sit on, crossing her legs. Neji's attention went immediately to her bare skin, and she cursed the fact that she opted to wear a skirt today. A long one, falling below her knees, but still a skirt.

She cleared her throat, clicking her pen and straightening her back. "What brings you in today?" She asked, aiming for her most professional voice, her _Chief Medic_ voice.

"You, if I am being honest."

She nearly choked, gripping the pen tightly, daring to look up at him. _Oh gods._ "M-...uh...is uh-..." she cleared her throat again. "What can I do for you, Neji-san?"

Talking to him was so much easier when she was five tequila's deep.

What she would _give_ for five tequila shots right now.

He leaned against the exam table casually, crossing his arms. "We were interrupted during our conversation a while ago," he stated, hints of disdain no doubt for the two Uchiha who did the interrupting. "And _unfortunately_ , our schedules have never matched up since then to continue but I'm sure that you're aware of what it was that I wanted to ask you."

"Uh...no-...I mean, _yes_ , I sort of pieced together what it was, but-"

"Be my wife."

She squeaked, pen dropping to the floor and she bent down to grab it when his hand shot out first. He crouched down, picking it up, looking up at her. His skin was cool, hand large as it wrapped around hers.

If she knew she was going to be proposed to, she would have never gotten out of bed.

Sakura pulled back quickly, scrambling out of her seat, trying to put as much space between her and Neji as the small exam room would allow. "That's-uh...you're- I mean...I can't."

He frowned, and she could see he was struggling with being denied. Something, no doubt, foreign to him. A man with porcelain features, and commanding presence that left no room for disagreement.

"You can't, or you won't?" He took a step forward, and she took a step back, pressed up against the wall. _Ooh, this is dangerous_.

She stuttered. "Uh-...yes?"

He let out a breath, a sigh, tucking his hands into his pockets, head tilted to the side. "If it is because we don't know each other, that is something I can rectify easily. I understand that this is fairly sudden, but you have been at the top of the list for a while."

"I'm flattered, Neji-san, really, but... I'm-... I haven't even _thought_ about marriage. I'm not even twenty yet. I still have so much I want to do and _marriage_..."

" _Engagement_ then. We can have a long one." He consented, with a half smile. Something that softened his features, nearly taking the breath out of her. When he smiled like that, she saw those famous Hyūga features that many of the younger kunoichi gushed about. "As long as you would like."

 _Come on, Sakura! Just tell him something, anything!_

"I'm in love with someone else!" She blurted out.

 _Idiot! Anything but that!_

The frown was back, more fierce this time. She could see the wheels turning in his head. "The Uchiha." He nearly spit out.

 _Uchiha's...more like._ Her own mental joke making nervous giggling bubble up in her chest.

That line she put up between her and polyandry had all but disappeared, but she still struggled with societies notions that she could only ever love one person at a time. She found she was still unable to verbalize how she was falling in love with two different men. How she was physically _attracted_ to two different men. Izumi was the only person who knew, and since growing up in a clan where that kind of thing was acceptable, she had no conflicting comments to say.

The three of them hadn't even talked about it, and that was totally a conversation she didn't even want to approach. And there was the the very real chance neither of them wanted to enter into _that_ kind of relationship. They would make her choose. Shisui or Itachi. She would only get one, and have to face breaking someone's heart.

She wanted _both_.

But if she were _ever_ to tell that to, say, a clan that had strong political views on tradition, and obedience like, oh who knows, _Hyūga,_ the reaction would be thoroughly unpleasant.

"Itachi Uchiha is going to be a Clan Head." Neji snapped, pulling her from her thoughts. "You're aware, Sakura-san, that a Clan Wife cannot be a kunoichi. The position demands too much."

She bristled, any lingering nervousness she had melted away. "I'm _aware_ , Neji-san. But I don't think it's really _your_ place to dictate how I should run my life when the two of us have barely ever said more than a few sentences to each other in the entire lifetime we've known each other."

"I'm thinking of your future." He frowned.

"And I _am_ thinking about _my_ future. Whatever happens between Itachi and I... well I'll just cross that bridge when I get to it. You can't force someone else's heart to work in the way you want." She stood up straighter, clutching her clipboard to her chest, taking a step off the wall. "I'm flattered that you considered me for marriage, but I respectfully, and _firmly_ decline your proposal." She gave him a proper bow, turning with her hand on the door. "Have a nice day."

Sliding the door open, the three nurses on the other side all stumbled back wide eyed, red faced at being caught. Sakura was no longer in any mood to entertain anyone, her words coming out sharp. "I didn't realize you were being paid to stand around eavesdropping on private conversations. I'll be sure to put that in your reports for the upcoming work reviews." Stepping around them, she stalked down the hallway and away from the whole mess.

* * *

-x-

* * *

She spun around idly in her desk chair, wondering when her life had come to this. Every day, there was a new battle to fight. She did more yelling and arguing now than she ever did. Somehow, somewhere, someone always had some _kind_ of problem with how she lived her life, made her decisions. When had other people become to interested in her?

Months ago, she was just a background character. She woke up, worked the hospital, met up with her team every now and then to do missions, did her paperwork, decided between chicken or beef for dinner, and slept. If she decided to go on a long-term mission, no one batted an eye. If she decided to shut herself in the hospital basements working on antidotes, no one came looking for her. But now she couldn't even breathe without someone asking _why_.

A soft knock on her office door pulled her from her thoughts. "Come in," she called, pulling herself up into a proper seated position.

Izumi's head popped in before the rest of her body did, bearing gifts. Gifts namely in the form of Sakura's _favorite_ desert, anmitsu, and tea. Already she could smell the cherries and red algae. Her stomach rumbled and she groaned. "Iz, you are going to make me _so_ fat." She scolded, reaching out to take the plastic bag from the grinning Uchiha.

"Impossible. Shu-tan's training keeps you seriously fit," she laughed, flopping down in the other chair, taking the second portion of the desert Sakura held out to her. Happy sighs filled the room as they both took their first bites.

"I had a seriously messed up morning, and this makes me feel way better," Sakura commented, mouth full.

Izumi frowned, setting hers down to take a sip of the fragrant green tea. "What happened, everything okay?"

Shaking her head, the chief medic set her food down. "Neji Hyūga proposed to me today. In the exam room."

The brunette inhaled the tea, stopping to cough loudly between asking "What? Why?"

"He didn't so much as get down on one knee, as he literally just demanded _'be my wife'_." Sakura drawled, picking up her own tea as Izumi calmed down. "He's made a mental list of potential wives, and baby factories, and apparently I am at the top of that list." She shrugged. "Or I was until I pretty much told him to go fuck himself. But in nicer words."

Giggling filled the room, as the ridiculously of the situation flooded over the two of them. "Ho-...how many men do you have _after_ you, Flower?" Izumi gasped, smothering her laugh with her hand. "Knowing Hyūga's, you denying him probably made him fall further in love with you."

That thought alone had her scowling. "It's exhausting, Iz. I'm serious." A new round of giggling started up until a strange sort of silence filled the room. Sakura, clearing her throat, leaned back in her chair. "I kissed Shisui-chan the other day."

Izumi's head snapped up, wide eyed, the formation of a smile on her lips. "No _fucking_ way." She breathed, leaning forward. "And? What happened?" Eyes bright, _invested_.

Sakura tried to will down a blush as she remembered how... _heated_ things got. How expertly Shisui handled her, how hot his touch was on her body, how _she-_ Sakura stood up, coughing embarrassingly into her hand. "He's a really good kisser. Like... _really_ good."

The brunette gave her a look that said she wasn't as sly as she thought. "Oh, obviously. Have you looked at him? And?"

Shaking her head, Sakura sat down, picking up her dessert again. "Nothing. We just kissed. But I did sort of say to him a while ago that I didn't want anything to change between us until after the exam and the trials. He said it was fine, he would wait."

The happiness on her friend's face slowly faded away, the mood shifting. There it was, that _something_ that was bothering Izumi from the moment she walked in. Sakura could tell that something was up, wondering if she was going to have to pull the information from her friend, or just let it come out naturally.

"I kissed Itachi." Izumi whispered, picking at her nails, head bent. Sakura frowned, that was not the expression of a girl who got what she wanted. Also, the small measure of jealousy knotting up her stomach didn't make it easier. A thousand and two different questions were burning at Sakura's lips.

 _When?_

 _Why?_

 _What happened?_

 _Are you together now?_

Instead, Sakura frown deepened. "Why don't you look happy about that?"

"Um...okay." Izumi took a deep breath, refusing to look up from her lap. "We went to dinner last night. Talked about old times, talked about the future. He walked me home and turned to leave. But I sort of just.. pulled him back. I kissed him, and he kissed me back, but..."

A pregnant pause filled the room, as Izumi was biting back a shaking breath, looking up.

"There wasn't anything there." Her smile wobbled, and it broke Sakura's heart. "You think that kissing the guy that you've been in love with since you were a child would be something _more_. Sparks, fireworks, a supernova, _anything_ but it was just the press of skin against skin. I felt it, and he felt it too." Tears began to form, dripping down her cheek. Sakura got up from her chair, dessert abandoned, to wrap an arm around her friend. "I love him but... there's nothing there. How can there be _nothing_ there?"

Sakura shushed her, rubbing a hand up and down her back as the heart-broken girl shook with sobs. There was a small part of Sakura that knew she should have felt victorious in that moment. That her love rival was defeated, and that there were no more obstacles in her path.

But holding this girl, a crying mess of a human that had just got her heart shattered, that pink fluffy bubble she had lived in for years popped...there was no victory for Sakura. It was bitter, foul on her tongue. Victory had never tasted so much like acid before.

"And I don't-...I was born to be Clan Wife and how can I-?" Izumi choked out. "What am I supposed to do with my life now? He would-...how can I live my life in a passionless marriage? It would be nothing. I would be _nothing_."

There were no words that Sakura could say that could make her feel better. All of them would be empty, useless. Sure, she would be okay in time, but right now she wasn't. Izumi had a plan for her life, but never figured that the biggest detail, love and passion wouldn't be there. How can there be a marriage without passion? What kind of happiness could be found there?

Izumi's life was shattered. That path she had forged for herself was gone. She stood at the end of the road with nothing before her now. And Sakura's heart ached.

So she held her, tightly, wondering if she held tight enough that all those broken little pieces Izumi had would come back together.

* * *

-x-

* * *

The buzz of her unit intercom pulled her from the half-asleep state her and Izumi found themselves in after binge watching rom-com's for hours. Sakura ended her work-day early, admitting defeat of an already bad day to stuff her face with sweets and chips.

"Who's that?" Izumi yawned, tucking herself further into the couch and fluffy blanket on top of her. Sakura groaned, untangling her legs from the Uchiha's, stumbling to the front door.

"No idea. I'll be back," Sakura called, grabbing a cardigan and slippers, heading downstairs to the main door.

Itachi stood outside, dressed casually, relaxed. But there was still a bit of tension at the corner of his eyes that melted as soon as he saw her.

"Itachi-san," Sakura breathed, stepping out in the bitter winter wind. She shivered, wrapping her arms around her body, the cardigan useless. "What are you doing here?"

 _Is he looking for Izumi?_

 _Is he here for me?_

He didn't say anything, but stood there. Dark eyes focused directly on her. She would have thought him a statue if it weren't for the rise and fall of his chest, the clenching and un-clenching of his right hand. He was conflicted, battling something within him that Sakura didn't know.

They stood there without saying a word, a strange sort of fluttering growing inside Sakura's stomach, her mouth going dry. Any form of conversation died on her lips, all the background faded away until it was just the two of them. Standing there. Snow falling down around them, his face lit up by a harsh orange street light that sharpened his features.

Her tongue ran the seam of her winter dry lips, his attention snapping to the minute movement, his breathing getting ragged, harsher. His lips parted, and Sakura felt something began to stir inside her. His hands shot out, gripping the sides of her face, thumb caressing her cheek in a familiar way. A way that used to make her feel comforted, but now make her feel restless.

He leaned down close enough that if Sakura breathed deeply, she would touch his lips.

Itachi Uchiha was a man that women wanted. They would flirt and giggle, find any excuse to bring him into a conversation, make his attention focus on them. But there was only one thing he ever focused on clearly and that was his career.

But looking at him now, her breath shuddering out, body trembling with nerves in his hands, she had that focus all on her. Focus that those women would kill for.

 _Kiss me,_ she pleaded, scared to close her eyes and he would disappear. Scared to utter a word and shatter this moment. _Kiss me._

Her hand, tangled in the scarf wrapped carelessly around his neck, pulled harshly and whatever it is that was holding him back fell apart. Her back met the sliding of her apartment building, she never even realized they moved. He dwarfed her in height and stature, bending his body down just to reach her. He was kissing her and it was _everything_. The movements were coordinated, his lips were sweet, his body heat warming her to the core. Hips pressed against her body, chest on chest, she could feel the erratic thumping of his heart against her hands as she slid them up his chest to wrap around the back of his neck. Knowing this was affecting him as deeply as it was affecting her and his sharp distinct scent was making her head fuzzy, completely surrounding her.

An irritated growl left his lips, startling her. His hands dropped from her hair to behind her thighs, lifting her up, and she scrambled for leverage, legs wrapped tight around his waist. They were face to face now and _oh, this is so much better._ The junction between her thighs was tingling, and she jutted her hips, looking for any kind of relief.

A rumbling groan echoed in his chest when she nipped at his lips, pressing against her harder. The evidence of his desire between them. He kissed her and her head went blank. He kissed her and it was all she ever wanted since the moment she laid her eyes on him. He kissed her and it was like everything in her life, like puzzle pieces, fit together.

He kissed her and it was a fucking _supernova._

That thought alone made any fire in her veins die out. She stiffened and he noticed the change, pulling back, just as breathless as she was. Her hands slipped from his neck, unwrapping her legs from around him, dropping on unsteady thighs and pushing against his chest. "Izumi," she panted, trying to put more space between the two of them. "She-...she told me." The realization of what just happened dawning on her. Her hand drifted to her swollen, freshly kissed lips. "Oh Gods...she's heartbroken up there over you and I just... kissed you. She's having the worst day of her life and I just..."

Sakura slipped off the wall, reaching for her apartment building door and flinging it open. "Sakura," Itachi called, but she ignored him, slamming the door behind her.

If Izumi found out... that barely hours after she poured her heart out about how the man she loved for years had shattered, broken her heart... that Sakura kissed him and how it was _amazing_...Izumi would never forgive her. She was a traitor. She was a shit friend.

Izumi's head popped up from the couch when Sakura entered the apartment, eyes still fuzzy with sleep that narrowed when she took in Sakura's flushed face. "What happened?" She asked, startling Sakura.

"What? Nothing. Nothing happened. I'm fine," she blurted out quickly. "I'm going to take a shower." All but running from the room, locking the door behind her. Tossing on the water at max heat, she slipped down to the bathroom floor and tried to remember how to breathe.

This was not how this day was supposed to go at all.

* * *

-x-

* * *

A/N:

Am I bad author?

Was that a mean thing to do?

Was character development so important that I had to do that?

Was plot development so important that I finally gave the elusive ItaSaku kiss only for it to end bitterly?

Bros before ho's?

Ho's before bros?

Let it be said that there is no winning in a weird square, W? thing formation of love.


	24. Excerpt V

-x-

* * *

She was nearly vibrating with nerves and wondered if he could feel it. They getting closer and closer to her house. The streets were darkened, moonlight bright above them, the night was warm for winter.

 _Do it, Izumi. Just do it._

She licked her lips, trying to quell the knotting of her stomach.

She could do this, she was _going_ to do this.

They reached the door and she was slow to let go. Itachi looked at her with a small smile, hand brushing the side of her cheek. "Good night, Izumi," he whispered, taking a half step back. Her hand shot out, and she pulled. Hard. Until her lips were on his and... _and_...

Izumi pulled back, tears burning at her eyes. " _Oh."_ She whimpered, touching her fingers to her cold lips.

Nothing.

She felt... nothing?

No, that was _wrong!_

She pulled him down again, pressing her lips against his harder this time. Angling her head, wrapping her hands around the back of his neck, desperately clawing at him, searching for that feeling that should be there. _It has to be there!_ She had to love him, they have to be together!

Itachi gently pulled her hands from the back of his neck, setting her back down properly on her feet. Tears were running freely down her face. He was frowning, opening his mouth to say something, anything.

But there was nothing to be said. Because she knew he felt the exact same thing that she did.

 _Nothing._

No spark, no desire, no passion. It was just the press of skin against skin. Because there was nothing between the two of them. Everything she thought, everything she believed wasn't there. That life she built up for herself, all those courses she took to become Clan Wife... twenty years. Twenty _years_ had all gone down the drain.

"We don't-...we don't love each other." She whispered, teeth biting into her lip, drawing blood. He reached out, hand caressing her face, before pulling her to his chest, holding her tight.

"No," he replied, and she could hear the ache in his voice too. Perhaps he was having the same earth-shattering realization as she was. "We don't. Not the way we thought."

* * *

-x-

* * *

Izumi Uchiha liked to think she was smart. Could ready body-language, pick up on small cues. Piece together a situation with barely any information. So when Sakura came bursting back into the apartment looking like she was just thoroughly ravaged and kissed yet saying that nothing happened...Izumi knew Sakura was hiding something. A strange sort of feeling pulling down inside her.

The bathroom door clicked shut, the sound of water running. Narrowing her eyes, that sixth sense going off like alarm bells. Jumping out of the couch, Izumi tossed open the blinds, watching a figure dart away from the front of the building. She barely had a chance to activate her sharingan, catching the faintest hint of a familiar face.

 _Ah._

And if that really was guilt she saw on her best friend's face then she knew exactly what happened. And she knew exactly why Sakura looked like she wanted a hole to swallow her up, refusing to meet with Izumi's eyes.

Sure. She _should_ be upset. She was in love with him for nearly twenty years. She had perfected the image of what their life together would look like. He would become Clan Head and she would be the gorgeous wife on his arm. When they would kiss, it would be like the universe finally fit together. He would touch her, and she would be on fire.

She would keep his house, take care of Mikoto as she aged, begin to show a swell of her belly in a few months. Then would be the children, beautiful, beautiful babies that would have his smile. She would give him all the children he wanted. They would be the envy of the other families for how much they loved each other.

That was going to be her life, and now it was gone.

But having Sakura hold her, comfort her, giving her a safe haven to land with time to think... Izumi realized that she was free. Free to do whatever she wanted, free to be whoever she wanted. She was _free._

It would still hurt, for a little while at least. The man she thought she would spend the rest of her life with was no longer an option. Not the way she thought, the way she wanted. Her family would be furious. Yell at her for all the wasted resources, wasted time on her. But knowing Itachi, he would never force her into a marriage that had no physical attraction, no passionate love. She wouldn't do that to him either, especially with how she knew he felt for her dearest friend.

Her best friend.

Her... _beautiful_ , ruthless, caring friend that had become a lifeline to her in the past few months.

Izumi never imaged having someone like Sakura in her life, but now she couldn't imagine _not_ having her.

The brunette chewed on the tip of her thumb. She had gotten a pretty good read on how Sakura behaved, and knew that this incident would cause Sakura to bolt. And Izumi would have to chase her down and confront her.

* * *

-x-

* * *

Izumi gave her three days to run like a coward, before telling Shisui that training was cancelled today, but not to mention anything to his protégé.

Sakura looked like a mess, walking up the training field, stuck in her head, looking vaguely nauseated. The guilt of what she did must have been eating her alive and Izumi wanted to roll her eyes. _If you just talked to me, you idiot, you wouldn't have worked yourself up like this. Give me a bit more credit.  
_

Crossing her arms, the brunette let as much of her irritation flood the field as she could, startling Sakura. All the color drained from her face, and she turned to run. An Izumi-clone popped up behind Sakura, halting her.

"No," her clone snapped. "You don't get to run away again. You and I are _going_ to talk."

Sakura flicker-stepped and Izumi bit back a smile. Shisui was right, she really did master it. But Sakura still ran straight into Izumi at the top of the Hokage mountain. "Forget that I mastered it too?" She tried her best to sneer in Shisui fashion.

Then they played chase. And if Izumi was being honest, it was probably the most fun she had in a while. Especially watching Sakura get caught up in a trap because of her blind need to run.

"Good," Izumi drawled, flopping down on the ground in front of her friend who was completely bound with ropes in the middle of a deserted training field. "You are going to tell me why you run the moment you see me." Narrowing her eyes, Sakura flinched. "What happened that night?"

"Not-"

"Don't _lie_ to me, Sakura. You know I could pull the information from your head." A lie, but Sakura didn't know that. "I could put you in a genjutsu, torture you for the information if I really wanted, but I want _you_ to tell me what happened."

The brunette could see the wheels turning in Sakura's head, finally figuring out she was trapped. Color drained from her face, a sickly color creeping up her neck. "I kissed Itachi," she blurted out. "The very day you found out that there was nothing between you two. He came to the apartment and then we kissed and gods," Sakura teared up, looking up at the sky. "It was amazing, and everything a kiss with him should be."

All the tension seeped away from Izumi's body, and she let out a breath. "Good," she smiled, unbinding her friend, trying not to laugh at the horrified expression.

"Good? But I-... I _kissed_ him!"

Izumi hummed, examining at her nails. "You did."

 _And he found that spark that wasn't with me._

"I kissed him hours after you did... you just had your heart broken by him and I kissed him. Everything that kiss was should have been yours!"

Rolling her eyes, Izumi leaned back on the ground. "Sakura, you and I love the same man. We both knew this was going to go one way or another. It just turns out that the love I thought I had for him was nothing more than something that came after years of being by his side. We both were confusing the different types of love." She reached out, resting her hand on Sakura's, who flinched in response. "But it's there for you and him. And you're my friend, my really good friend. My..." Izumi frowned. "My only really good female friend. Wow, that's sad. But anyways, I am happy for you. I'm happy for him that he has you."

 _But,_ Izumi thought to herself, _if it were anyone else, I would never give him up that easily._

"But I-"

Izumi groaned loudly, falling down onto her back. "What is it that you thought I would do? Fight you? _Scream_ at you?"

A quick glance at the ashamed face told her just that. _Wow, what kind of friends do you have, Sakura?_

"You're my friend," Sakura whispered. "And I don't want to lose you and I was afraid that you would hate me."

The brunette waved the notion away. "Hating someone is exhausting, I don't have time to put that much effort into something like that. Especially since I can't force someone to love me, so why would I waste my time?"

"So you don't... you're not mad at me?"

Getting up, she dusted off her pants, reaching a hand down to pull her friend up. "I would _like_ to think our friendship is stronger than some boys."

It was relief that Sakura seemed to feel first, then embarrassment for creating such a situation. Coming together for a hug, Sakura mumbled out an apology.

"Forgiven _if..."_ The Uchiha grinned, "You take me to get my hair cut."

Wide-eyed, Sakura reached out to wrap a thick, dark lock in her hand. "You're cutting it off?" She whispered, no doubt horrified that such beautiful hair would be gone.

"Yup!" Izumi chirped, wrapping an arm around Sakura and pulling her off the field. "And you are paying for it. It'll be my Christmas present."

* * *

-x-

* * *

A/N:

Izumi is my baby.


	25. Chapter 19

-x-

* * *

She was curled up in the corner of her couch, a soft fur blanket half in her lap, one thumb nail chewed half to death between her teeth. She looked down at her cell, pressing the number seven, the voice mail replaying once more.

 _'...hey, Flower, it's mum. Guess uh-...guess you're busy or ignoring my calls. I know we parted on the wrong foot and...Flower I'm-... Flower, I'm leaving. This village, I mean. I'm going to move to Ame, or Suna, I'm not sure yet. I just... I just can't stay here and wait until the news of your death. It tore me apart when your father took his ANBU trials, and went off on those months long missions. Weeks without word. Until one day he just came home in pieces. And I just can't do it with you, Sakura. I love you but I'm choosing my own health and happiness. Perhaps, we'll meet again someday.'_

There were no more tears left in Sakura's eyes. They had all been shed hours ago when she first played the voicemail. Sakura felt... _furious_ , heartbroken, like a lost child. A million and two different emotions at once that made her want to tear her hair out, throw her phone into the stock brick of the fireplace, scream and yell and shattered her things, self-destruct. But instead, she pressed the number seven.

 _'...hey, Flower, it's mum. Guess uh-...guess you're busy or ignoring my calls.'_

Sakura wanted to curse her blood. Cowardice that ran in from her mother's side, already rearing its ugly head in her own personal life. How could a woman, a strong civilian merchant like her mother run away from this? Their family? Their life?

She winced, pulling back her bloodied thumb from her lips, the taste of iron on her tongue.

Shinobi were warriors. They fought, they bled, and they died, honorably, for their village. They lived their lives to protect their village, their home. To make sure that there _was_ a home to go back to. Sakura had to take on missions she thought that were nothing more than bullshit. Pulling on a skin tight dress and flirting with a man twice her age who fondled her ass. But it was the hard missions, the ones that made her bleed, cry, sweat and wish she was dead... those were the ones that made it all worth it.

 _'...hey, Flower, it's mum.'  
_

They were the last Haruno left. The last of their little clan, as her father used to say. And now Sakura was abandoned. Left by a woman who literally gave _birth_ to her, two weeks before Christmas. Left by the woman who kissed her head when she got hurt, hugged her during the nightmares, smiled proudly when she said she wanted to be a shinobi like her father.

What kind of person would do this? What kind of... what kind of mother?

She thought that maybe they could reconcile after their last parting. The things her mother said, Sakura had convinced herself that they were said in the heat of the moment. That her mother wouldn't _really_ kick her own daughter out of her family. So Sakura was just going to give her time, show up somewhere around Christmas with some gifts, things she knew her mother loved. Spend a couple days there.

But the Haruno house was emptied, a fine layer of dust coating the surfaces. Before it clued in to Sakura to check her hardly used cell phone.

Tears stung at her eyes again and she choked them down with another gulp of sharp vodka down her throat. She would be alone. Actually and literally alone with no family left.

Sure, her mother and her never really talked much after she graduated the academy and got into her team. Since Sakura all but threw herself into training and worked hard to compete with the Prodigy and Dead Last that kept her in the shadows. Worked hard to prove herself to her teacher's, and peers. But she also worked hard to impress her mother, show her that her father's blood ran through her. That she could be a great and noble Shinboi like the Snake ANBU.

But instead, her mother was haunted by the shadow Sakura seemed to cast. And she was leaving her own daughter behind. Abandoned like a baby at the church steps.

Forgotten and left behind.

Sakura gritted her teeth, groaned as she held back the coming tears and sobs.

 _'...hey, Flower.'_

* * *

-x-

* * *

A/N:

):

Question. Who would be willing to let me bounce some story ideas off them? I have some, but I can't figure out a timeline and I need a second opinion.

Message me if you're interested?

 **Also second: next chapter there will be mention of non-con off-screen.**


	26. Chapter 20

-x-

 **Mention of non-con off screen**

 **PTSD**

-x-

* * *

She had barely made it through her office doors, stack of files nearly spilling from her right arm, trying to sip the still steaming black coffee in her left when Yuna came rushing in after her, arms equally filled with a clipboard and a huge bag hanging off her shoulder.

Holding back a groan, Sakura dumped her files on her already messy desk, holding up one finger as she tried to down as much of her coffee as she could. It was barely seven in the morning, and she had already been awake for three hours. Pulled roughly from her slumber by an intern stating there was an emergency c-section, the patient demanding that Sakura was the only one allowed to do it.

Well if there _was_ a way to start a day right, it was starting it with surgery. And the cutest baby boy.

The empty paper cup clattered into the garbage can and the medic took a deep breath, gesturing to the clipboard in Yuna's arms. "Let's get it over with."

The red-head cleared her throat, clicking her pen and started going down the list.

"The board has put through some minor changes to the hospital structure that needs your signature," Yuna gestured to the inches thick stack of papers in the far right hand cover of Sakura's desk. "The nurses also wish to organize a small Christmas party, utilizing the conference hall B. Approved?"

Already skimming the papers on her desk, Sakura looked up. "Approved." Yuna scribbled. "What's next?"

"This is also the final draft of the holiday schedule for all the hospital staff," the red-head stepped forward, setting the paper down and Sakura frowned.

"This should have been completed at least a month ago. Why am I getting a final draft now?" She asked, reviewing the schedule. "Why is there only one surgeon on call? I specifically said that there needed to be at least three." Sakura's annoyed sigh filled the office. "Civilians get careless around the holidays, I reviewed the numbers from last year, and we had 350 civilians come in between December twenty-third and January second. Nearly a quarter of those required some kind of surgery because they don't know how to handle a sharp object." Sakura pulled out a pen, scribbled two names and tossed the paper back to her Second. "Tell Ando and Imai that they're on call. If they have a problem with it, they can talk to me."

Yuna hummed, organizing the papers on her board. "This," she said, slipping a paper out and over to Sakura, "is the new budget report that needs to be reviewed, approved with your signature by the end of the day."

That slip of paper, Sakura slid far, far away from her. Budget reports always left a bitter taste in her mouth, because it always involved some kind of laying off of some person that needed the job. Out of everything her position required, she hated having to let someone go.

"Okay, anything else?"

Yuna grinned. "Yep! Here are all your letters." Reaching into the bag, she pulled out a fat stack of folded up papers. "Most of them are Christmas well-wishes, but there are the results from the poison control team, a letter from Suna that I didn't review and Hokage-sama asked me to give you this."

 _This_ being a very expensive, very large bottle of a very rare sake that Tsunade loved. Sakura couldn't stop the smile, and laughed as Yuna set it down on her desk.

"I have already taken care of your Christmas well-wishes, Sakura-sama," Yuna smiled. "I sent the letters out a week ago, so you don't have to worry about getting that done."

Flopping down in her chair, Sakura let out a huge sigh. " _Thank_ you, Yuna."

She left, and Sakura was stuck between getting started on all her paperwork, or pulling a Tsunade and having a cup of sake. Fingers drilling the top of her desk, she reached into a drawer and pulled out an ochoko cup and began to pour herself one.

No one would have to know that she was drinking at seven in the morning.

Her office door was thrown open by a very distraught, harried looking intern with wide eyes and scratch marks down her face. "Saku-..." she panted. "Sakura-sama, we need your help with a patient."

Frowning, she got up, pulling her medical jacket from behind her chair and followed, tying her hair up. "What happened?"

"We had this...we had this woman come in," the petite, mousy brown intern said breathlessly. "She was found behind a building, unconscious with obvious signs of assault."

The pair turned around a corner where a small crowd of medical staff were waiting outside the door.

"We tried to examine her, but she woke up and she _completely_ flipped out." Gesturing to the scratch marks down her face. "She won't let any of us near her. We can't even get some Pentobarbital into her IV to calm her down."

Peaking through the small window into the room, the patient was curled up, pressed as far back into the hospital bed as possible.

"Okay, I'll take care of this," Sakura replied, picking out any sharp objects she had in her pockets, giving them off to the intern. "Take these, leave them in my office."

"What are you going to do, Sakura-sama?" Another intern who was sporting what looked like the beginning of a very bad black eye asked.

Raising an eyebrow, she let out a breath. "I'm going to talk to her. You two, by the way, need to go get those taken care of."

She opened the door, and slipped in.

* * *

-x-

 **Non-con off-screen mention begins here**

-x-

* * *

Immediately, the woman was on edge. Sakura was quick to analyze her.

Black eyes forming, her nose broken, probably the beginning of a hairline fracture along her jaw if Sakura was seeing the bruising correctly. The woman's hands, wrapped around her shoulders, were bloodied. She was missing a few nails, and blackened bruises were forming around her wrists. The hospital gown was stained in dirt, and fresh blood no doubt from her fighting the moment she woke up.

"Good morning," Sakura moved slow, holding her hands out, trying to make herself look as non-threatening as possible. "My name is Sakura Haruno, I'm the Chief Medic here. Can you tell me your name?"

The girl, perhaps around mid-twenty, shuddered violently, pushing herself back even further. "Don-...don't _touch_ me."

Shaking her head, Sakura lowered herself slowly to a rolling chair near the end of the bed. "I won't. Not if you don't want me to. But is there something I can call you?"

The brunette looked up, Sakura noticing remnants of sparkly eye-shadow on her eyelids, mascara rubbed down her cheeks with tear tracks. "...Maiya. My-...my name is Maiya."

Nodding, Sakura rolled a little closer. "It's very nice to meet you, Maiya." She smiled, and Maiya's lip twitched back."Can you tell me what happened?"

"I can't-...it's...he-he said I was _asking_ for it. I wasn't! I-I..."

"It's okay. I believe you." Sakura lowered her voice into something softer, endearing. "I'm here to help you if you'll let me." She reached her hand out again, and the reaction was less violent this time. "I have all the time in the world, Maiya. We can go as slow as you'd like."

"Ho-...how can you help me _now?"_ Flashes of bitter anger in her eyes.

"You tell me. You're in control of this room. I am here for you." She left her hand, palm up on the bed. "There are things that I need to do, but we can take our time."

"What kind of things?"

"I need to examine you, Maiya. If you're hurt, I need to know where. And I can fix it." Maiya kept looking like the hand on the bed would bite her. "I can give you something to calm you down, help with the pain. Eventually I will need to physically examine you." She said softly, letting a green glow coat her hand. "I don't even have to touch you, but I'll just hover my hand over your body. I just want to know if there's anything life-threatening going on."

The girl shivered, shaking her head quickly.

Holding out her hand, Sakura gestured for Maiya to come closer. "Here, you can touch it if you'd like. It doesn't hurt."

It felt like years before Maiya reached out a hand to hover above Sakura's own glowing one, the pads of their fingertips touching. Then Maiya moved her hand, until her hand gripped Sakura's firmly, and she burst out in a heart-wrecking sobs. Scrambling for any kind of support, her broken nails clawing into Sakura's arm, Maiya pulled the medic closer and sobbed into her chest.

Sakura was careful on how she touched her, adjusting her body to sit at the edge of the bed, one hand delicate on her back, the other still being gripped in a bruising touch.

"He-...he wouldn't _stop_. I screamed and I _screamed_ but no one came!" Maiya choked out into Sakura's chest. "Every-...every time I screamed, he would punch me and-and...and I couldn't fight him off. I tried! I tried but he _wouldn't stop! It wasn't my fault! It wasn't!"_ The girl eventually dissolved into incoherent sobbing, repeating the same thing over and over again.

Shushing her, Sakura pressed a glowing green hand to Maiya's back, giving a quick but detailed examination.

 _Five cracked rips, two out of place, hairline fracture along her right mandible body, another fracture along the superior zygomatic arch, nose completely broken, evidence of serious trauma to the vaginal canal.  
_

Sakura had to keep any anger she had about the situation locked down tight. Maiya would feel her change of body language, and Sakura would lose the delicate trust she had gained in this moment.

"You're right, Maiya. This wasn't you fault. You did _nothing_ wrong. You weren't asking for it." Sakura hummed, tucking the girl under her chin and settling further into the bed, back against the mountain of pillows at the head of the bed. Catching the eye of an intern outside the room, she gave a minute nod for them to come in. "This wasn't your fault."

The door creaked open, and Maiya stiffened. Sakura hushed her, adjusting her legs on the bed.

"Don-don't leave me!" Maiya's panicked hands clawed into Sakura's jacket. "Don't let them touch me!"

"Shh, it's okay. _I'm here._ As long as you need." Sakura replied, watching her intern slip 100 milligrams of Pentobarbital into the IV drip. The other intern with the scratch marks on her face was kind enough to grab another pillow for Sakura to prop her up a little bit more in the awkward position the two of them were in the bed.

Already the sedative was taking effect, Maiya's body relaxing quickly in Sakura's arms, but her grip was still clawed into Sakura's jacket. Looking up to her two interns, she whispered. "I want a rape kit ready, and a prescription for levonorgestrel."

* * *

-x-

* * *

Maiya was asleep on high doses of sedatives, the rape kit was passed off to go to pathology, her clothing given to the police and Sakura tossed herself into her desk chair at nearly eleven in the morning. Rubbing the palms of her hands into her eyes, she groaned, resting her elbows on her desk.

It was honestly fucked up that in the span of seven hours, she had delivered a beautiful baby boy to an ecstatic family that was having the best day of their life...only to turn around and have to deal with a woman having the worst.

She couldn't even _begin_ to imagine what she was going through.

A coffee cup was set down in front of her, startling her out of her thoughts. Itachi's had a warm smile, sitting down across from her. "Good morning."

Any lingering tension she had melted away, Itachi's calming presence washing over her. "Good morning."

"Rough start?"

Her eyebrow twitched, and she bit back a smile. "Do I look that bad?"

She loved watching Itachi flush, and clear his throat. "No, I didn't mean it like that."

Grinning, she all but inhaled the caffeine, letting out a huge breath. "I did have a bit of a rough morning. I've been up since four." She tossed the empty cup into the garbage, watching with amused eyes as Itachi slowly slid his own across the desk towards her like an offering. "What're you doing here?"

"I think we left things a little... unfinished the other night, Sakura-san."

She winced. "I'm sorry. I _completely_ flipped out on you." She took a sip of the coffee, it was only mildly sweet. "Don't get me wrong, I really _really_ like kissing you."

"I liked kissing you."

" _But_ ," she continued, glaring at him for trying to distract her. "Iz is a _really_ good friend to me. Probably the best I've had in my entire life. We just...I don't know. It's almost like she's my platonic soul mate."

The Uchiha nodded his head. "Izumi always said that she was fine not having a friend that was a girl," he blew out a puff of air. "There were some, over the years. But she eventually found out that they only used her to get to Shisui, or me."

Rolling her eyes, Sakura leaned back in her office chair. It didn't really surprise her. Many girls used Sakura when she was younger to get to Sasuke. Even _now_ , some still tried to worm their way into her life and begin the _casual_ approach into getting her to introduce them to Sasuke, or as of late, the other two handsome Uchiha.

"I just didn't want to be put into a position where I had to choose," the medic rubbed at her eye, exhaustion beginning to weigh them down. "I feel like that's all I do these days. _Choosing_. Friendship or love. Ino or Shisui. Marrying an Uchiha or a Hyūga. My comfortable life or an unknown one. Being a part of the Konoha 12, or going my own way."

Itachi was frowning, deeply creasing the skin between his eyebrows. "Marrying a Hyūga?"

"Did I not tell you that Neji-san proposed to me?"

He seemed to puff up. "No. That wasn't mentioned."

She tried to be serious about it, but the giggling started to escape and she was full on laughing at how completely jealous he looked. She got up from her chair, going around the desk to sit herself down on Itachi's lap. "I said _no_ , Itachi-san. I would have told him to fuck off, but that was a bit too crude."

Itachi refused to look at her, eyes locked on something in her book cases. Pouting. "Should have done it anyways."

She brought his attention back to her, fingertips on the angle of his chin until he was looking at her. "We already had this conversation. I'm not marrying a Hyūga. Or a Inuzuka, or an Aburame, or, fuck I don't know, an _Akimichi_." She grabbed his loose hands and wrapped them around her body as she kicked off her shoes to curl up in his lap, head tucked neatly into the crook of his neck. Yawning, she nuzzled into his warm, familiar scent. "I already have my hands filled with two disgustingly handsome, increasingly frustrating, ridiculously _ridiculous_ Uchiha men."

His hand began to trace soft patterns along the exposed skin of her ankle, holding her tight to his body. It was like the sweetest buzz along the surface of her skin wherever he touched her, sending shivers up her spine.

"I had a patient today. Something horrible happened to her, and she wouldn't let anyone touch her. Probably won't let anyone touch her like _this_ for a very long time." She whispered. "I can't imagine being unable to touch another person. I can't imagine not being able to do _this_."

He hummed, resting his face against the top of her head.

Between the rhythmic rise and fall of his chest, and distant heartbeat, she was getting lulled into dream land. "Wake me in fifteen," she yawned.

* * *

-x-

* * *

A/N: Take it. Take my fluff after such a really sad moment.


	27. Chapter 21

-x-

* * *

"I'm not doing it!"

"Oh come _on!_ You'll look SO cute!"

"Izumi, I swear to gods, I will murder you."

Sakura rounded the corner quickly, trying to get away from the most ridiculous Uchiha she had ever met. The rest of the family was just coming through the front doors, eyebrows quirked at the conversation. Nearly slipping on the polished hardwood, Sakura slid behind Mikoto, hands gripping the back of her dark colored haori. "Mikoto-san, tell Iz that I am _not_ going to wear that pathetic excuse for a Christmas costume."

The brunette came around the corner, nearly falling into the opposite wall, a dangle of red in her hands. "Mikoto-san! Tell Flower that she _has_ to be Santa this year!"

"I am _not!_ " Sakura's screeched back, horrified, pointing to the costume. " _That_ is two thin pieces of cloth taped together."

"No! Okay, well, _kind of_ but it has a body suit underneath!"

"Wh-what?! NO!"

"GIRLS!" Mikoto snapped, before taking a calming breath. "Izumi-chan, that is nothing more than a dishcloth. I have already picked up the reindeer outfits we agreed on." She gestured to the multitude of bags in Itachi and Shisui's hands.

Izumi pouted, hands dropping to her sides. " _Fine_."

Shisui chuckled, reaching out to press a kiss to Sakura's head before ducking around the family to pass the bags off to Izumi. "If I didn't know any better, I would have thought the two of you were sisters." He ruffled Izumi's freshly cut hair. The length cut close to her head, in an almost boyish fashion, but with a longer side swept fringe that curled around her chin.

Sasuke, completely done with the entire situation, silently left the room with a scowl, Izumi calling after him. "This time, you're _going_ to put a costume on, little brother!"

" _Stop calling me that!"_ His indigent reply echoed down the hallway.

"Itachi-kun, take the groceries to the kitchen and put some tea on." Mikoto sighed, slipping out of her geta. "Sakura-chan, I've done up a room for you."

Sakura flushed. "Oh no, that's okay! I can just pop over Christmas day."

The resulting glare had her swallowing nervously. "Sakura-chan. There is a room done up for you. You _will_ be spending the entirety of the holidays here."

"Ye-...yes, Mikoto-san."

She was left in the entry-way with Itachi who nuzzled the top of her head, melted snow dripping down. "Why is your mother so scary sometimes?" She whispered, looking up at him.

He shrugged. "I've learned that you don't argue with her."

* * *

-x-

A/n: just a short chapter, a draft I had lingering in my pile that didn't fit anywhere else 


	28. Chapter 22

-x-

* * *

When her eyes finally opened, she was completely disorientated. _Where am I? What year is it?_ Pushing herself up, an arm that was thrown across the front of her chest pulled her back down to the cushioned floor. Shisui's grip tightened, his face nuzzling into the crook of her neck.

 _Oh_ , that's right.

It was Christmas eve today, and with Sakura's mother MIA, the Uchiha's matriarch had absorbed her into the family, insisting she spend the holidays with the family. After many rounds of snap, even more glasses of sake that lasted long into the night, the Uchiha cuddle puddle gang including Naruto and Sasuke had fallen asleep under the kotatsu.

The soft chirping of a bird outside told her she had slumbered much too long under the intoxicatingly warm piece of furniture. If she stayed any longer she was going to catch a cold.

But getting out from underneath it was going to be the biggest battle. Her legs were tangled up with at least three other pairs, along with Shisui's arm cage across her shoulders, and Itachi's grip on her hand, this was not going to be an easy task.

Yet nearly a half hour later, she manged to get both legs free and Shisui's arm tucked around his own body. The house was much cooler outside the kotatsu and she shivered, reaching to grab a stray blanket off the couch, softly tip toeing her way to the bathroom.

Her reflection told her she looked ridiculous with half her hair knotted from sleep, lips dry and cracked from all the alcohol, and dark circles under her eyes from the late night. Unfortunately a cold splash of water could only do so much, along with finger combing her hair.

Leaving the bathroom, she headed the opposite way to the kitchen, where the soft clattering of pots told her that Mikoto had started on the meal prep for tomorrow, having lots of work ahead of her. As she was the Matriarch, it was expected of her to create dishes to bring to the gathering tomorrow of all the Uchiha families at the Square.

"Good morning, Sakura-chan," she called softly, never turning around as she busied herself.

Sakura wondered if all mother's had eyes on the back of their heads.

"Good morning, Mikoto-san," Sakura replied, taking a seat as the woman set down a fresh, steaming cup of black coffee for her. Wrapping the blanket snugly around her, Sakura picked up the mug with both hands, inhaling the scent. "Merry Christmas eve."

"Merry Christmas eve," she replied back, pausing her work to sit down beside Sakura, reaching out to take a hand in hers. "I'm sorry that things between you and your mother-"

Sakura shook her head, setting down her cup to take Mikoto's hands in hers. "It's fine. She just needs some time." _Lie_.

"I do hope you know that I think of you as family. The room I set up is permanently yours, should you ever need it at any time."

Sakura was touched, her chest felt full. It was way too early feel this much, but Mikoto always knew exactly what she needed to hear. "Thank you," she whispered. Mikoto smiled, patting her hand, while getting up to return to her meal prep.

"How have things been for you otherwise, Sakura-chan? I can tell that training is going well, you look much more like a kunoichi now."

Going back to her coffee, Sakura pulled her feet up on the chair. "Shisui-chan is a really good teacher. I don't know why doesn't become a Jōnin instructor."

Mikoto laughed softly, the tap water rushing on. "Shisui-kun has only taken three people under his wing, training them seriously. Itachi-kun, Izumi-chan, and you. There have been many younger Uchiha's and clanless shinobi alike who have approached him for training. But he's picky. He won't waste his time on someone who won't reach their full potential."

Sakura chewed on it, thinking back to his training. He _was_ hard and ruthless. Finding just the right way to push her buttons to get her to do what he wanted so he could discipline her. If he did that kind of training with a bunch of twelve-year-olds, it wouldn't go over very well. "Mm, I can see that."

Silence ebbed between them, Sakura sipping coffee, Mikoto prepping food.

"Did you know that I used to be top of my class at the academy?" Mikoto commented lightly, half turning to make sure the younger girl was still awake.

Sakura smiled, shaking her head. "No, but I wouldn't doubt it. You're an Uchiha."

"I graduated in first, the Jōnin's fought each other to have me on their team. I made Chūnin at thirteen, then became Jōnin at fifteen." A touch of nostalgia in her voice. "ANBU had my file for consideration and a place for me before I even graduated the academy."

It painted a very vivid picture in Sakura's mind, a strange sort of image though. She found she had a hard time separating this woman, this soft, motherly, welcoming woman being in ANBU. An infiltration and assassination kunoichi, hidden behind a polished mask.

Her laugh pulled her back from her musings. "I know what you're thinking. It's hard to imagine someone like me doing something like that. I was _fierce_ , I was unstoppable." Mikoto wiped her hands off on a dish towel, sitting down on the table. "Then I met Fugaku."

Sakura frowned, setting down her cold, nearly empty coffee cup. "He forced you to quit." Sakura had strange echoing memories of a night with Itachi, insinuating that she would have to give up being a kunoichi to be a wife.

Mikoto reached across the table. "No, Sakura-chan." Her voice softening. "He didn't. I left willingly due to some circumstances out of my control. He said he would support me no matter what I did. We married for love, which can be rare for a Clan Head."

Sakura, frowning, traced the rim of her coffee cup with her finger. She had so many things to ask about the Clan Head and Clan Wife situation she didn't know where to start. If Itachi was expected to take his place in the summer, what would become of her? Would they turn a blind eye because the two of them weren't married? Or would they push him to find a willing wife, like Izumi, to take the place?

Groaning, she shook her head, feeling a bit of a headache coming on from the situation. "Why are you telling me this?"

"You know that Itachi-kun will be obligated to take his place, _rightful_ place, next year. I am not blind to how my son feels about you." Sakura flushed. "I am also not blind to how _Shisui-chan_ feels for you either."

Her stomach lurched and she pulled her hand back quickly, looking anywhere else but at her. "I don't-...um..."

 _Oh god, were they that obvious? Did anyone else know?_

"Sakura. It's _okay_." Mikoto insisted, reaching out to pull Sakura back down into her seat. She grinned. "Those two boys, from the moment they met have been attached at the hip. You never saw one without the other, it was cute, really. It doesn't surprise me that they fell in love with the same woman too."

Sakura hesitatingly looked up. "It-...it doesn't?"

"No, not to me at least." Leaning back in her chair, the playfulness slipped from her face. "Have you heard of a practice called the Twin Shadows?"

"Polyandry," Sakura whispered, vaguely remembering.

"You know of it?"

"Izumi um-..., she mentioned something about it."

"It's something practiced, rarely now though. But hundreds of years ago, it was very common. No one ever batted an eye with a woman that had two or more husbands." Mikoto gave her a secret smile. "I almost entered into one myself. Poor Fugaku was nearly beside himself thinking he had to share me. He was a bit possessive. But Eiji-kun fell in love with another woman and Fugaku was more than enough for me."

Mikoto sighed, patting Sakura's hand. "Have you talked to them about it?" Sakura shook her head. "The most important thing with a relationship like that is _communication_ , Sakura-chan. All three of you must be very open about what it is that you want."

Sakura's face burned and she buried it in her knees. "I haven't even _had_ a boyfriend before! I don't know how relationships work, and they're older than me, and experienced and-...Mikoto-san, I'm a..." She looked around the area, before leaning in closer. "I'm a _virgin_."

"Sakura-chan!" Mikoto admonished, rubbing a hand across her back. "It's _okay_ , just take a breath. No one is expecting you to know what to do. I doubt either of them know what to do either. That's why I'm telling you _communication_. All three of you just need to sit down, and figure out the _details_. And remember that the three of you will be returning to active duty in the spring. Coordinating a relationship around that will come easily."

Looking through her burning hands, Sakura whimpered. "Details?"

"Will you all share a bed? Or alternating each night? Will you share an apartment, a house? Would they expect you to be a shinobi or a wife? Will they be allowed to participate in relationships outside the three of you? How exclusive is this?"

Wide-eyed, Sakura gaped. "A be-.. _.a bed?"_

Sakura could tell Mikoto was too amused for her own good at the entire situation, but there was also a kind of seriousness to her that Sakura had never seen before. A hardness in her eyes that made Sakura feel like a naughty child. " _Talk_ to them, Sakura-chan. Before things start to get too far and one of you gets hurt."

Mikoto was _good_ at scolding her, and she felt ashamed at how completely unprepared she was for this kind of relationship. She never thought about how the relationship would look in the future. But now the image of her tucked into the middle of a ridiculously large bed, saddled with two Uchiha men on each side made her a little bit lightheaded. It was a _really_ nice image.

A small bottle, the size of a shot, of chocolate liqueur was set down before her. "Today, Sakura-chan."

Sakura squeaked. "Today? But...but it's _Christmas eve_!"

"And probably one of the last chances you'll get to get the two of them in the same house. The new year always brings a plethora of mission scrolls and while Shisui-chan may be off active service for a bit, Itachi-kun's not."

She was so close to pouting. "Can I have another bottle?"

Mikoto laughed, setting a second one down.

* * *

-x-

* * *

Sakura was _dying_ from embarrassment. She kept adjusting, crossing and uncrossing her legs, sipping wine from her glass and convinced she had to pee.

"Sacchan, we don't have to do this if you're not ready," Shisui kindly stated and she violently shook her head no.

 _I will probably get disowned if I don't do this. I already lost one mother, I can't afford to lose a second._

Mikoto had taken the rest of the house out to deliver the dishes she made, leaving Sakura alone with her two boys. Izumi knew what was happening, and offered no help other than to be honest. The living room clock ticking away. She shot up, began to pace around the living room, stomach knotted to hell, hand shaking from nerves. _Oh gods, I'm going to throw up._

Taking a stabilizing deep breath, one hand rubbing down her face, she began.

"Okay. I am going to talk. And you two are going to listen." She channeled her Chief Medic self, knowing the only way she was going to get through this. "I... have developed feelings for the two of you. Equally, if such a thing could be measured." She cleared her throat. "I have become aware of something called Twin Shadows which I'm sure you two know about since it's a clan practice. Now, I do not know a lot about it, but it involves a woman and two men in a relationship."

She could Shisui was trying not to grin, but Itachi had his fist balled up against his knee. _Oh, that doesn't look good._

The pacing continued.

"I want to be a selfish, _selfish_ woman and not have to choose between the two of you. I want the cake and I want to eat it too. And I am talking to you about this today, not only because Mikoto-san will actually kick my ass for being a coward, but because I want... more. And-and I _know_ I'm younger... a bit younger actually, than either of you and we're in different life stages and I'm-I'm _not_ talking about marriage. At this moment."

She refused to look either of them in the eye, keeping her gaze locked on the floor as she paced. She found herself talking more with her hands. "I know that I may have mentioned that I wanted to wait until after the exams, and while I _do_... " she gestured with her hands. Again. _Gods! "_ I would like to perhaps take a step closer to a more _complete_ relationship, putting a label on this. With us. All of us. If-if that's...that's something you two are okay with. _Sharing...me..._ "

Letting out a shuddering breath, she looked up, hands wrung together, excepting...well, she wasn't sure _what_ she was expecting, but it certainly wasn't amused glances from both Uchiha.

"Sakura-san," Itachi rumbled, reaching out as far as he could to capture her hand, to pull her a bit closer. "Shisui and I spoke. At length."

Her mouth went dry, and a pit dropped deep in her stomach. "You-...you _talked_...about this already?"

Shisui cleared his throat, rubbing at his nose. Looking vaguely embarrassed. "Mikoto-san actually trapped us together in a room, kind of like this, and forced us to figure it out. We were both getting a bit too... riled up about it."

Humliation melted into something much more scaldalized. "So you mean-...you mean I am literally, _literally,_ dying over here about this and you two already figured it out?"

Itachi shook his head with a reassuring smile. "No, Shisui and I discussed _our_ views on it, depending on which road you wanted to take. If you chose only one of us, then we would be okay with that. We would keep the friendship. If you chose both, then we would be okay with that too."

She buried her face in her hands, collapsing down into the single seater across from them. "Oh Gods." Laughter from Shisui, and a resounding chuckle from Itachi and she wanted to hit them both. "So-...so _what_ happens now?"

Both her hands were taken by each Uchiha, entwined with their fingers, forcing her to look at them. "First," Shisui smiled, "You should know that we are happy with just you. But if you decide that you want someone else as well," his nose crinkled. "Well, we might have to _haze_ the new guy, or girl, and-"

Sakura shook her head quickly. "Oh Gods, no! No, no, _no_. You two are...you two are _more_ than enough for me."

She didn't even know how she was going to figure out handling two men at once.

"But this can just be _slow_ , Sakura-san. Start where all relationships start: dating. " Itachi traced the lines of her palm. "I mean, we skipped a bunch of steps in the whole process. You already know the family, and we know your friends." He lifted her hand up to kiss her palm, and _oh gods_ , it went straight down south and she clenched her thighs together. "We'll have to introduce you to ours. But if at any time, there's _something_ wrong, Sakura-san, talk to us. We can move mountains for you," he looked up, and she shivered. "But you have to say something first."

Nodding, she let out a huge breath of relief. This was going much, _much_ better than she thought. Shisui's hand snaked up her forearm, and pulled her from her chair into the middle of the couch where the two of them sat. Her body was strewn across theirs, Itachi's hand rubbing up and down her leg, Shisui's arm locked around her upper body.

"You set the rules, the pace, and we'll follow." The eldest Uchiha purred in her ear, leaving small kisses to the delicate skin.

She shivered, Itachi's thumb rubbing the skin around her ankle. "And-...what about _other_ people finding out?"

 _I swear to Gods, I'll have to take a year long mission away from the village once Ino finds out. I'll probably come back to a village that was destroyed in her rage. She'll come after me until I've died with her hands around my neck._

"Eventually, they will," Itachi sighed, "but I don't really have anyone trying to talk to me about my relationships."

A quick glance at Shisui, whom shrugged at the comment told her that no one really asked him either.

Sakura relaxed, melting into her...well, her-... "Um-...so just, uh, for clarity's sake. We're _dating_ now...right?"

"Yes," they told her, two separate kisses finding exposed skin of her body. One at her neck, the other at the pulsing heartbeat of her ankle. "Yes, we are."

* * *

-x-

* * *

She was _trying_ her best to act normal, but Sasuke was giving her a _look_ and she just wanted to _die_.

Izumi, amazing and perfect Izumi kept pulling the conversation to new topics, making the focus on her. Teasing Sasuke, bugging him, so he wouldn't think too hard about _why_ his brother and his cousin were attached to Sakura's hip the entire night. Why they were the first to put food on her plate, when she was _clearly_ able to do it herself.

Why her sake glass was never empty, and why when she shivered from how cold the house got as soon as the temperature dropped, a blanket was quickly wrapped around her.

Why his mother was absolutely _glowing_.

Sasuke knew something was up, and Sakura could feel the itch of his glare on her skin.

Her stomach rolled, and she pushed the unfinished portions of her dinner away from her. Immediately getting concerned looks from her new boyfriends. She wanted to bury her face in her hands and tell them that being the two most feared and lethal shinobi in the village, they seemed to be lacking in the subtly department. It was as if a switch had been flipped the moment they put a label on this. They took it as the go-ahead to fully act out the way they wanted to around her.

Sakura never realized how much they had been holding back.

But they were _sure_ choosing a bad time to start letting go.

With Izumi's help, Sakura was able to slip away from the living room quietly and quickly once the time started to tick closer to midnight. The day was taxing and all she wanted to do was sleep.

Too bad for her, upon entering her bedroom, she found three futons side by side in the middle.

"Oh, it's _terrible_ , Sakura-chan," Mikoto cooed from behind her and Sakura whipped around, heart thudding painfully against her rib-cage. _Oh yeah, she was definitely a Jōnin._ The small, conspiratory smile on the matriarch's lips had the hair on Sakura's neck standing up. "Someone _accidentally_ left the shoji doors open in the boys' bedrooms. Everything is _completely_ covered in snow, the hardwood is _ruined_." She gestured to the futons. "I set up their things in here. I would have used Izumi-chan's room but her room is quite tiny and Sasuke-kun already has Naruto-kun in his room." Shrugged, she turned around with a secret smile. "Yours was the only one left. I hope you don't mind."

She disappeared down the hallway, and Sakura felt a cold beginning to creep up her body and grip her heart.

 _Mikoto-san!_

Two bodies, two freshly bathed _delicious smelling_ bodies, slipped past her with lingering touches to her waist.

It annoyed her how casual Itachi and Shisui were being about this. They moved around the room, putting away bags, hanging up their house coats, sitting down at the table in the middle and cracking open a fresh bottle of sake like it was no big deal. Like they did this every single day.

 _I have two of the most handsome men in the fucking village in my room, as my boyfriends, and I literally cannot look either of you in the eye because I get to call you mine. And-and...how does this not reduce either of you to puddles of fucking nerves?!_

It wasn't until they called her name for the fifth time that she finally clued into the situation.

"Mm?" She hummed, sliding the door shut behind her and effectively trapping her in here.

With them.

Her _boyfriends_ of all but seven hours.

Shisui was grinning at her, no longer hiding anything behind a mask. No longer holding back. "We make you nervous, hmm, Sacchan?"

 _Oh gods._ He was calling her out.

Clearing her throat, she sat down at a free side of the table. "What makes you think that?" She asked, eyes locked on the table as she poured herself a cap of sake, all but inhaling it.

Shisui reached out, curling a lock of her hair around his finger, his chin rested on his other arm with a predatory grin. "Can't look at us, can you?"

Defiantly, she locked her eyes with him. His... his _obsidian_ black eyes, hair fluffy and curled, the fresh scent of patchouli reaching her and _oh_. The flush was racing up her neck, covering her face and she poured herself another drink.

He laughed and she wanted to die. For the twenty-second time today.

Itachi tsk'd, refilling all the empty cups. "Shisui, stop teasing her."

The eldest Uchiha's exasperated sigh filled the room as he lifted his ochoko of sake. "She's _ours_ now, Ita-kun. That basically means I can tease her as much as I want."

Scoffing, Itachi tucked his hands into the loose sleeves of his yukata. "Yeah, see how far that gets you. She'll have you sleeping on the couch in no time."

The two began to bicker and Sakura sat there wondering when her life had become like this.

 _Oh right. As of seven hours ago._

She cleared her throat loudly, bringing the conversation to a halt, and focus on her. She snatched the sake bottle from Itachi and refilled her own cup, and theirs. "A toast. To quite possible the most ridiculous relationship I had ever been a part of." The pair looked at her, pouting a touch. "Fine. To a relationship that ended in the best possible way for me."

She should have stopped there. But then the sake, and the lingering wine, began to talk. "And maybe you two? Are you two considered boyfriends? Is this a straight and bisexual relationship or...?"

The looks on their faces told her everything and she dissolved into giggles. "I wouldn't mind, you know. It might even be a turn on for me, watching the two of you kiss."

Too bad the resulting repercussions to her comments made her regret ever saying it. Between nips at her neck, and lips, kisses burning a path down as much of her body as the yukata showed, ** _no._** The two of them weren't boyfriends. They were just saddled together in a relationship so they could be with _her_. The focus of their attention. The focus of their entire worlds.

 _A shame_ , she thought to herself later that night, thinking about the two of them kissing, feeling her body begin to stir. _That might be an actual turn on for me._

* * *

-x-

* * *

She woke quickly, feeling a pair of eyes on her.

The room was quite dark, and she could only guess who it was based on the figure.

Izumi stood there, looking smaller than Sakura had ever seen her, arms wrapped tight around her body.

"Iz?" Sakura yawned sleepily, propping up on her elbows, Shisui's arm falling to the side.

She let out a shuddering breath. "I couldn't sleep and... _and_..." Her voice cracked and Sakura's heart broke. She shifted closer to Itachi, patting the open space in the futon.

"Get in."

The brunette hesitated before Sakura patted the futon again, repeating her command more firmly. Izumi was quick to get in, nuzzling into the warmth of three bodies. Turned on her side, Sakura faced Izumi, brushing back a lock of stray hair from her face.

"Are you okay?" She whispered.

A quick shake of a head answered that question and Sakura opened her arms to let Izumi slide in closer. With one arm used as a pillow, the other soothingly running through the short locks, Sakura helped Izumi through the very quiet, almost unnoticeable sobs that gripped the girl.

Sakura didn't know what it was that her best friend was going through, but it was bad enough to crack the strong and unbreakable facade Izumi had build up around herself. Thinking back to the conversation with Shisui a while ago, Sakura wondered if this had something to do with Izumi's family. She wondered if they found out about the broken-off intention, or Izumi's application back into active service.

But whatever it was, there were going to be no answers tonight.

Tonight, Sakura held her best friend, soothed her the best she could and fell asleep tucked under Itachi's chin with Shisui's arm draped across as much of the three other bodies as he could reach.

* * *

-x-

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A/N: I only reviewed this three times and changed things each time so I am SORRY for any errors. I was just super excited to get this out. I have no beta, so no one is there to correct my mistakes.

Anyways! I have the sweetest followers. I love reading the comments left behind. **Please** keep leaving reviews that keep me amused all day!

This story has become my life. I breathe ItaSakuShi, I sleep ItaSakuShi, I _literally_ am thinking about this story 24/7.

I've moved out of the graveyard, if any of you were wondering. I'm all set up in a nice forest cottage. Lots of animals, lots of inspiration. Any of you want to come grab a seat at my table, feel free. I got wine, some grapes to make wine, some grape seeds to grow grapes to make wine, some more wine. Oh, and wine. (:

I'll answer a few questions below the cut here that I've been messaged, or were left in reviews. (Because these answers won't be addresses later on. Maybe?)

* * *

 **Itachi Uchiha: A meta analysis**

Why did he kiss Izumi back if he wanted Sakura?

 **Short answer:** _Girl,_ have you seen Izumi? That kind of bombshell kisses you, you sure as **hell** are kissing back.

 **Long answer:** It was decided from birth that Itachi and Izumi were going to be married, wed, and have lots and lots of beautiful little babies. It was expected upon him to cultivate a relationship with Izumi, and perhaps even get her to love him. Having love in a betrothal would make a lifelong marriage much easier. (Or so his father told him) So he worked hard, became close with her (not only out of obligation, but also because he actually enjoyed her company) and eventually she went away for five years to experience the world before it was expected of her to come back when he took over as Clan Head to be his wife. In the meantime he focused solely on his work as a shinobi, deftly out of the hands of thirsty little village hoes.

Izumi was the only girl that he was close to for the majority of his life. The love that he feels for her... that love he believed was LOVE LOVE. Romantic (eros) love until Sakura came along and began to mix things up. He found himself feeling different things for her. But Izumi was still there, around, and the IzuIta (Izumi/Itachi) relationship was still _expected_. Which is why he was a bit of a dick earlier on about his wife having to give up being a kunoichi to be a Clan Wife. Because that's what he _believes_ his mother had to do. His amazingly talented mother who gave up a promising life to be a house wife. It's the only thing he's known.

SO. He still tried to cultivate the intention to marry with Izumi. Dinners with family, small dates, etc. Even while he was falling in love with Sakura. Because he was stuck between duty to his clan and his family, and following his heart like the cutest little disney princess.

 **When Izumi kissed him, and he kissed her back.** He did it because it was _expected_. You kiss the woman you're going to marry. So he did. But the feelings weren't there. That _spark_ wasn't there.

Itachi, distraught, _confused_ about love because he thought he was in love with Izumi, and now he can't figure out what it is that he feels with Sakura, goes to her apartment. Because he wants to know. He _**has** _to know. Is it the same with her? Or is it different? Kissing Izumi was like kissing an old friend, familiar and warm but there was nothing else.

Looking at Sakura, standing there, he let himself finally _feel_. Feel the desire he had for Sakura. Loosened his control a little bit. When he kisses her, he fucking _knows_ what love is supposed to feel like. When he kisses her, he feels the way his body is reacting to her, how the universe seems to come together between their lips. How he would fucking fall to his knees before her and swear to give her the universe if she asked him. He would do whatver she asked of him. He would oblige her, because all he wants is her love. Her attention, her adoration. He _needs_ her.

.

.

.

Thank you for coming to my ted talk.


	29. Chapter 23

-x-

* * *

"So," she began later, playing with one drooping antler that had been broken during a ten-second grapple for the last daifuku. Everyone _knew_ that Sakura loved the red bean stuffed mochi. They watched her inhale at least six after insisting she was full from the ridiculously large Christmas dinner Mikoto made. She won. _Naturally_. But the insult was all the same. "Can I ask you guys... about the Jōnin exams?"

Three Uchiha, all spread out around the kotatsu paused in their drinking game, to look at each other. "Flower," Izumi began hesitatingly, almost a little ashamed. Well, as ashamed as the prettiest reindeer could be. "The exams are held every couple years, depending on how talented the Chūnin group is, and they're changed each time. My exam was completely different from theirs," she gestured to the pair.

 _Damn it._ She cursed inwardly, running her finger over the rim of her wine glass. She had been hoping for just a _little_ bit of insight. The Chūnin exams were a group effort, and three minds worked quicker than just one. "There's nothing you can tell me?"

Shisui stretched his arms back with a low, rumbling groan and sighed loudly. "Okay, what I tells you stays between us. I was involved with the examination process a while ago, and they always follow the same pattern."

She leaned in closer, ready to commit every word to memory.

"It consists of three parts. Mind, body, and aptitude," Shisui ticked off on his fingers. "A Jōnin should be able to pick up all the information needed to complete their mission, even if it wasn't all said. Body language, cues, _details_ are all seriously important to remember. You need to look underneath."

Nodding along, she knew this was an important factor that every shinobi had. But some, _coughNarutocough_ , went charging in without first gathering all the important details first which screwed it all up later on.

"The second part is body. How you are physically able to handle whatever it is that a solo mission will throw at you." His mouth quirked up in a smile. "Now I'm not too worried about that for you, Sacchan. Jōnin are ordered to follow after their target for days, maybe weeks even, without rest. Fight even when they're missing limbs, or have poisoned swords sticking out of the abdomens."

Rolling her eyes, she ignored Izumi's giggling.

In the middle of changing, Izumi wandered into Sakura's room, and asked about the strange scar on Sakura's stomach. Her battle to the death with Sasori quickly began Izumi's favorite story. Sakura _swore_ that Izumi was making heart-eyes at her since realizing that her best friend was an Akatsuki killer. And apparently immortal.

"The last part is more of an accumulation of all parts. Aptitude. How well are you able to utilize your strengths to complete your missions. Of course," he sighed, "no one will actually be _around_ to watch you do your mission. But in the past, every Chūnin who came back successfully were subjected to the Yamanaka's psychic mind transmission. They only started that practice within the past ten years. Turns out, many Chūnin were so desperate to pass, they cheated. Forging signatures, passing deals with their targets, or paying off the witnesses." Shrugging, he took a drink. "It's one of the main reasons why the Jōnin numbers have decreased and why it's become so much harder to get recommended for the exams. Less than ten percent of the shinobi in the village become Jōnin. And even less than that become ANBU."

 _Mind, body, aptitude. Pay attention to every little detail, keep fighting even on the brink of death, and come back alive._

"Sakura-san," Itachi reached out to tap her hand which was gripping the wine glass tight enough it was beginning to crack. "It's going to be okay. Technically, after Sasori's death, you qualified for an instant field promotion. You can still take advantage of that."

She shook her head quickly, letting go of the glass, watching the smallest bubble of blood peak through the tiny cut on her finger. "No, it's okay." Taking a deep breath in, she calmed herself, pushing her chakra to the site. "I want to do this."

 _I can do this._

* * *

-x-

* * *

A/N:

The love for Izumi is overwhelming from y'all. I'm happy you like her. I haven't read many stories with her included in them, so I sort of had to create her up on my own. Of which I will completely admit that she is my baby and I would literally die for her.


	30. Chapter 24

-x-

* * *

The festival was in full swing, as Izumi and Sakura wandered around arm in arm through the crowds. With very expensive furisode's on their bodies, Sakura looked longingly at the numerous food booths run by the Akimichi clans.

But she was wearing a nearly _ten thousand_ ryo outfit that Mikoto had commissioned for her, and there was no chance in _hell_ she was going to get ozoni soup broth on it. No matter how much her stomach was grumbling.

Mikoto was in the main temple, seated with the other clan heads. Sakura's shadows had disappeared somewhere to find their friends, and Sasuke slipped away a long time ago. Not that it mattered much, a quick appearance was better than no appearance.

Turning her head, the soft jingling of the metal bira-bira kanzashi Izumi bought her in the summer that was tucked into Sakura's bun rang in her ear. She was about to comment on yet another food stall, when a cold feeling began to creep up her back.

"Oh no." She whispered before her name was called from half-way down the path by a flush-faced Ino Yamanaka. Sakura closed her eyes, and took a calming breath before letting go of Izumi to turn around. "Ino."

The blonde, already a few cups deep into the sake, came rushing forward as fast the geta would let her. "Sakura!"

Frowning, Sakura reached out to steady her once she got close enough. "How much have you had to drink? It's not even ten yet."

Ino pulled back from her touch, crossing her arms. "Why should that matter?" She snapped, slight slur in her words. "You've-... why are you hanging out with her?" Pointing to the brunette at Sakura's side. "That's all you do these days, is hang out with the Uchiha. All the time. And- and I'm your _best friend_."

Sighing, Sakura tucked her hands into the long sleeves of her furisode. "Ino."

 _Please don't do this here. Now._

"No! I mean it, Sakura. I am your best friend. I have known you since we were just kids. I was the one who gave you a chance, gave you a shot to be something other than a girl hiding behind a large forehead. I-I...if it weren't for me, you and Itachi-san would have never talked! I was the one who made him pay attention to you. _I_ was the one who set it all up. And-and this is how you _thank_ me?" Another pointed nail at Izumi. "She hasn't even been in this village that long, and-..." Tears began to form in Ino's eyes. "Why did you replace me? What did I do wrong?"

People were beginning to slow as they passed the three of them. Sakura felt herself begin to heat up in embarrassment, Izumi's comforting hand reached out to press against her back.

"Ino, this is _seriously_ not the time or the place. Look, let's get you back to the house and we can talk in the morning." Sakura reached out for her, but she pulled back violently.

"NO! We are going to talk now."

There it was, that childhood princess attitude beginning to peak back out.

"Fine." Sakura held her hands up in surrender. "Fine. I thought that you and I were best friends. I thought the way you treated me was the way that friends treated each other. I thought that it was normal for a best friend to embarrass me, make up a ridiculous nickname and tell everyone about it, even though I said I hated it. I thought it was normal that a best friend would continue to push me down while she pulled herself up." Sakura took a step back. "But then I met Iz. And I realized what an actual friendship was like. There is no malicious teasing, no bullying. She builds me up, and supports me. She doesn't make me feel inferior, or stupid, or lesser than her because I don't have a clan." Sakura lifted her chin. "We had feelings for the same man, and it didn't cost our friendship. She didn't make me feel like shit, or guilty for the way my heart worked."

 _Like you did._

A quick glance out of the corner of her eye told her that her shadows were lingering at the edge of the very slow moving crowd, looking vaguely concerned and curious.

"When you're ready to stop tearing me down, and stop treating me like I'm less than what you are, come find me. I would be willing to rekindle a friendship with you."

She pulled on Izumi's sleeve, and melted into the crowd.

* * *

-x-

* * *

It took nearly seventy bell rings of the 108 traditional rings to get a tipsy Kiba Inuzuka off of Sakura, and whisked away to a private garden at the back of the temple to celebrate the new year. The boys knew that Kiba didn't like her romantically, but it didn't mean they had to accept the way the ' _mutt_ ' (in Shisui's words) would rub himself all over their girl.

Plying them with sweet rice wine, and sake, they chatted through most of the 107 bells. When the last and final 108th rang, Sakura found herself squished into the middle of a group hug. She reached out to press a lingering kiss to Itachi, who smiled against her lips.

"Happy new year."

Next came Shisui, mischievous boy, who tried to turn the kiss into something more until she pressed him back with a swat and a _look_.

" _Behave_."

Turning Izumi, on auto-pilot, she pressed a kiss to her lips too before pulling back to realize what she did.

The pair stared at each other before breaking out into giggling. "I think having four in a relationship is too much, Flower," Izumi laughed, with a wide grin.

Shisui wrapped Sakura up in his arms, glaring down Izumi. "Hey. Get your own."

"Oh please," Izumi drawled, picking at her sharpened nails. "I could steal her away from you two easily."

The bickering began, and Sakura just sipped at her sake.

 _Yeah, figures this is how the new year would begin_ , she thought with a full heart.

* * *

-x-

* * *

A/N: Man. That was a long five months. But lots of progress was made and now it's up and onto the exams soon.

Again. I changed the rating of the story to M because of the exam.

Please don't hate me for what I do.


	31. Excerpt VI

-x-

* * *

"She's beautiful, isn't she?" Shisui said softly beside her, startling her out of the musings.

Izumi was leaning against a fence at the edge of the training field where Sakura was going through the kata with her brand new ninjatō. She had only meant to pass by, but now she found herself lingering for the past hour to watch her. Sakura moved through them slowly with an effortless grace, like she was born to do this. Izumi doubted that even _she_ didn't possess the kind of natural connection to a sword like Sakura did.

It was a part of her, an extension of her being, and it sucked Izumi right in to watch her dance with a weapon around the field. She made no sounds, barely left any footprints on the snow as she glided.

Clearing her throat, she stuffed her hands into the pockets of her jacket, flicking her hair from her face. "Yeah, she's really amazing."

Shisui leaned against the fence, arms on the wood, hands clasped together. "A woman like that... she's a once in a lifetime kind."

Izumi hummed, breathing deep as Sakura lunged, sword turning in her hand. "I've heard that she can level an entire village with just her fist." He laughed softly with a nod. "How can a woman that strong be this soft?" Because she swore, she could almost see Sakura in a traditional kimono, moving through a dance with more grace than the best Geiko the village had. If Sakura _was_ a geiko, Izumi would spend all the money she had just to see her dance.

It was intoxicating.

"Before us, no one had ever given her a chance." Shisui's voice dripping with bitterness. "They stuffed her into a little box labeled medic, and expected her to stay there. Even when she had taken everything the Hokage had taught her and made it even better, they expected nothing more from her. Until she came waltzing through the village gates holding the head of a man with a 120 billion ryo bounty." He shook his head at Izumi's questioning look. "No, she didn't keep any of it. She gave it back to Suna, saying she wouldn't even know what to do with that kind of money and that they needed it more."

Izumi felt her chest tighten. "Wow."

The pair watched in silence for a little bit.

"You and Ita-kun. How are things?"

Pulling her gaze reluctantly from Sakura, she shrugged. "Fine. We sorted it all out. It'd be a waste to throw away nearly twenty-years of friendship."

Shisui rested his chin in his hand and dropped a bomb. "When you kissed Sacchan, what was it like for you?"

"Wh-...what?" Izumi frowned, pulling off the fence to cross her arms. "What do you mean?"

Looking at her like she was being stupid, or being deliberately obtuse, Shisui spoke slowly. "The kiss that you had with Sacchan. On New Years. What did it feel like?"

She raised an eyebrow at him, with a scoffing laugh. "It was a kiss, Shisui. Just a kiss."

He reached out to press a finger to the place above her heart. "What did it _feel_ like, Izumi?" Her frown deepened and she tried to think back to that night. It happened quickly, but the burn of Sakura's lips on her lingered for a while afterwards.

"When it first happened... I thought my heart was going to beat out of my chest." She spoke slowly. "It made me nervous, but it was kind of exciting."

It was as if the entire universe had clicked into place, Shisui's grin as wide as can be. "I think the reason why your kiss with Ita-kun wasn't satisfying was because of his gender, not the feelings."

"What?"

"You like _girls_ , Izumi." He nodded his head to Sakura. "What you said you felt with Sacchan is what a kiss feels like when you're attracted to them. You," he pointed at her, then drifted over to Sakura, "like her."

"Of course I like her. She's my best friend." She frowned, hating the way the thought was beginning to seep into her bones.

He shook his head, moving to stand behind her, and grip the sides of her jaw to force her gaze on Sakura. "You _like_ her," he whispered. "The softness of her skin under your fingers, the lightness of her voice, the curve of her waist, the scent of flowers in her hair and the fluttering of her eyelashes." His voice was low in Izumi's ear and she shivered violently. " _Imagine_ it, Izumi. Her body bare for you to touch, the dazed look of her eyes when you kiss the breath out of her, whimpering when you explore her just right..."

"ENOUGH!" She snapped, ripping out of his grip, heart-beat thudding against her chest painfully. Sakura had stopped what she was doing to cock a head at the pair of them curiously. A strange sort of nervousness gripped her heart, her fingertips were ice cold, and she couldn't _breathe_. Desire was burning low in her belly at the images Shisui conjured up in her mind. "I don't-... I-I..."

"Iz?" Sakura came close, and she fucking _ran_.

* * *

-x-

* * *

A/N: I am not sorry.


	32. Excerpt VII

-x-

* * *

The hit connected perfectly, and she felt his face crack underneath her fist. Then, all she felt was pain shooting up her wrist and arm and she pulled back with a loud hiss. Shaking out her quickly bruising and swelling hand, she glared him down, chest heaving. She was lingering somewhere between angry yelling and full out sobbing.

Shisui stumbled to the concrete, blindsided by the hit and holding a hand to his bleeding mouth. "I deserved that."

"Yes you fucking did," Izumi hissed, debating whether to hit him again. But, she was a poor hit with her left hand. "Who the hell do you think you are, calling me out like that?"

Pacing, she looked down at her hand. Definitely broke more than a couple bones. _Great, I hate the hospital._

Her childhood friend winced as he touched his split lip, teeth coated red, tongue peaking out. "Just looking out for you, Zuzu-chan."

But even through the pain, she was beginning to feel better. It had only been some ten hours since Shisui put those thoughts in her head, and it took her a long time to calm down. "Don't call me that," she snapped, running her good hand down her face. "Why did you have to do that? I was fine, _fine_ the way I was. I was happy, and life was _good_. Then you went and...and..."

"Opened your eyes?" Shisui drawled, tilting his head in her direction with a judgemental look. _How dare you?_

Izumi bared her teeth at him. "You had _no_ right. None. At all." She paused, feeling that anger curl around her heart. "You had no right to use Sakura against me like that."

He shrugged, propping himself up against the building from the back alley they were in. "You were the one giving her heart-eyes. I was just stating the obvious."

"You know _nothing_ , Shisui."

He groaned, head thumping against the wall and he shut his eyes. "Izumi, I am literally the only family you have. When we were kids, I promised I would look out for you, protect you and make you happy."

Going back to her pacing, Izumi laughed sarcastically. "Oh yeah, sure did a good job. Now I can't even look my best friend in the eye because you fucking turned my world upside down." One hand on her hip, she stopped to point at him, struggling to find the right words. "I was _fine_."

"Yeah?" Shisui challenged. "Tell me you weren't keeping yourself up at night wondering what was _wrong_ with _you_. Because that's all you thought, right? It had to be something wrong with _you_. Itachi clearly likes Sacchan, _feels_ things for her. But he never felt any of that with you. You blamed yourself." His words were cold, and cut through her. "How many times did you climb into Sacchan's bed crying, seeking comfort because you were tearing yourself apart?"

"Go fuck yourself." She spat, turning to flicker away, but Shisui's hand was iron around her wrist.

"No," he seethed. "You don't get to run away." Her good arm went flying out, trying to connect her elbow with his face. He nimbly dodged it and pressed her against the wall. "You got one hit, and that's enough." He sighed, looking much more older and tired than he was. "I admit that I may have taken it a bit too far, told a couple lies. But I wanted you to open your eyes and _see_."

"That wasn't your decision to make!" She cried, struggling pathetically against him. "I was _fine_ , I was okay. I-I...I would have figured it out."

Shisui hummed. "Would you have? You have been crying every single night for the past two months. I can see it in your face, you're ruining yourself wondering what it is about you that doesn't work. Why, when you kissed a man like Itachi, who has numerous women chasing after him, why you never felt a single damn thing." He slowly get go of her to brush back her stray hairs to hold her face in his hands. "You like _girls_ , Izumi. And there's nothing wrong with that. You grew up with boys, so you never knew what it was like to be around a girl."

She felt vaguely nauseous, wondering how he knew all this. Her legs gave out, and she slipped down the wall to fall into a puddle on the ground, face buried in her knees. "I thought... I thought that it was normal. I didn't...I thought...she's _really_ pretty, and I like being with her. But she's my best friend, and I _know_ that she's my best friend and I don't want to change that. Do-do you think it's going to change? Do I really _like_ her?"

Grunting, Shisui sat down beside her on her left, reaching out to take her hand in his. "Honestly? It turns out all of us Uchiha have a taste for the same type. Sacchan is like the prime example of a perfect woman. Her body has all the right curves, her skin is still amazingly soft, and her voice could bring a man to his knees." He paused, looking deep in thought. "Or her fist. Anyways, the way you felt when you _kissed_ her, that's what a kiss is meant to feel like. Not the press of skin to skin, but something _more_." He squeezed her hand. "There's no other girl out there like Sacchan. But she is all the best parts of a woman, of which you've discovered how it feels to be attracted to one. All you have to do is go out and find one for yourself."

She was startled, and wide-eyed, shaking her head quickly. "N-no... I can't. I mean, I don't even know if-"

"You are." He said firmly. And she couldn't help but wonder _why_ Shisui was so sure about this. _Why_ he seemed to be so confident and know more about this than Izumi.

"Okay, well, what am I supposed to do about Sakura? You told me that I _like_ her. She's my best friend, how am I supposed to deal with that? I-I... I can't like her! It would ruin everything."

He had the nerve to look a little bit sheepish, and embarrassed. "I may have lied to you, played it up a bit because you weren't _really_ getting it, but I can show you the truth." He side-eyed her with a grin. "Does looking at her give you butterflies?"

Frowning, she shook her head. "No? Why would it?"

"Do you think about her all the time? Lay awake at night fantasizing about her? Dream about spending the rest of your life with her? Dream about watching her belly grow heavy with your baby?"

"Uh-...no, Shisui. I don't sit up fantasizing about my best friend. Pregnant or otherwise."

"Hm, shame. It's a good image." He muttered. "Does she make you nervous? Like when she turns those green eyes on you, says your name, and smiles? Do you feel like your stomach is all knotted up, and you have to try really hard to not show that your hands are shaking? Because she's put it in her own head that you're this really cool, untroubled guy but when she says your name you have to literally force yourself to focus on not falling apart?"

Her laughter echoed in the alley, and she shook her head. _"No!"_

"Okay, final question. When you see someone else has their arms around her, do you feel this... unexpected rage inside you? Like you would be 100% willing to commit murder because that fucking mutt can't keep his hands off her even though she insists there's nothing there? And you're furious how all these men in the village _look_ at her now, like she's suddenly worth their time and attention now that she's been recommended for the Jōnin exams? _And_ they-"

"Shisui!" Izumi exclaimed, forcing him to look at her. "Gods, you're a little intense, did you know that?" Slowly, the red that was bleeding into his eyes faded back out and he took a calming inhale of air. "No, by the way," Izumi replied. "I don't get jealous when I see her with other men, or women or... mutts?"

When he sighed, it was almost of relief, before he got up and patted off his pants, holding out a hand to her. "There's your answer. Because I do all those things-"

" _What a surprise._ "

"-and I'm in love with her." He glared at her for the interruption, before relaxing back into the man she had grown up with. "I was an asshole, and I'm sorry but I couldn't watch you keep tearing yourself apart over this. I couldn't stand by again."

The _again_ part confused her, but she slugged him in the arm none too gently, and wrapped her arm around his waist. "Just gonna say it again, that wasn't your decision to make. Asshole."

With an arm wrapped around her shoulders, he pressed as ginger a kiss to her head as he could. His face was swelling up pretty good. "Now, the world is your oyster. I have lots of female friends I can introduce you to."

Cringing, she could only imagine what the women who flocked themselves around him were like. Itachi told her all about his man-whoring days. "How about no?" But then she stopped short, all of it finally dawning on her and her left fist found his face. Less violent this time, but it would still leave a bruise. "You asshole, you made me think I was falling in love with her!"

The shaking of his shoulders was a prelude to full on laughter from him. "I did, didn't I?" He grinned mischievously. "Got you thinking though."

 _Oh, the payback that you're going to get..._

The house was quiet when they got back, Sakura half asleep in Itachi's arms. Her eyes opened drowsily to greet them before she gasped loudly, startling the hell out of Itachi who, with wild eyes, grasped around for a kunai, looking for the danger.

 _"What the hell did you two do?!"_

* * *

-x-

* * *

A/N:

.

.

.

 _...y'all._

I didn't realize I was going to split the world in half with the last chapter. If I did, I would have put a better A/N than something stupid like "I am not sorry". lmao.

But you guys are honestly so funny. I was going to wait a while to post this thrilling conclusion, let you guys freak out about it for a little bit but Izumi isn't the type to wait around when she can actively go out and do something about it. Which is great, because that's the complete opposite of me.

Let me firmly say that this won't be an ItaSakuShiIzu story. Even though that would be _amazing_ , and I might possibly look into writing one in the future. (Separate spin-off?)

Baby Izumi will find happiness on her own. She's just a confused, and lost little cinnamon roll right now. Because I only figured out her sexuality like...seven chapters ago. It just kinda hit me out of nowhere and I was like _oh_ , okay. Yes, I can work with this.

She's a late bloomer and needed someone to use as fuel to realize her sexuality.

(And yes, I will be taking nominations for Mikoto-san for mother of the year.)

(No, I don't have a posting schedule. I try to get at least a chapter a day out, I'm sorry if that's too much?)


	33. Chapter 25

-x-

* * *

She couldn't relax.

She was _supposed_ to be relaxing.

Take a hot bath.

Have some tea.

Catch up on her favorite shows.

Shisui and Itachi had told her to take the day off and just _relax_.

But it was nearly 2 in the morning and she couldn't sleep, barely even relax as she paced a hole in her floor. A quick glance up told her that the package Mikoto had given her, a new outfit for the exams, still sat on her coffee table. Mocking her. The dinner she has packed with it also sat in the fridge, untouched. At the thought, Sakura's stomach knotted painfully.

The exams were in less than twelve hours and she was a _wreck_.

 _What if I can't do this?_

 _What if they give me something that I can't do? Oh god, what if I'm the first one to fail? What if it's hand to hand combat? I-I mean I'm good, but if the put me up against Sasuke? He knows how I fight!  
_

Sakura groaned out loud, tearing her hands through her hair. How is she supposed to sleep when she literally cannot shut her mind off?!

A knock at her door nearly had her jumping out of her skin. She rushed to the door and threw it open, expecting a neighbor to yell at her for all the footsteps. An apology on her lips. Instead it was Izumi, wrapped up in a simple yukata, who gave her a once over with a knowing sigh, pressing a brand new bottle of expensive vodka into her hands, stepping around her.

"I _knew_ it. Those damn boys didn't believe me, but I _told_ them that you would be a nervous wreck." Izumi chattered, mostly to herself, heading for the kitchen to pull out shot glasses. Sakura followed after her, like a child. "I mean, I appreciate that they give you so much credit, but honestly, they're forgetting you're human."

Sakura slumped down on a bar stool at the kitchen island, clutching the bottle close to her chest. She was on the verge of tears...or throwing up, she wasn't quite sure. "I-I-...I can't do this. I'm not ready."

Izumi rolled her eyes, reaching across the polished marble to rip the bottle from Sakura. "Shut up," she snapped, opening the bottle and pouring nearly overflowing shot glasses. "Drink."

"Bu-but Shisui-chan said no drinking?" She whimpered against the growing agitation in Izumi's dark eyes.

"I said _drink!_ "

The vodka burned all the way down when she set the shot glass down, only for Izumi to fill it again, gesturing. "Drink."

This time, Sakura didn't hesitate, and swallowed it down without complaint. It burned less this time.

The third one went down like water.

"Excellent!" Izumi chirped, setting the shot glasses aside and looting around the kitchen for bigger glasses. "How do you feel?"

Cocking her head to the side, the warmth of the vodka had settled in her stomach, already making her feel flushed. "Better. Good." Her body was finally beginning to relax and she let out a huge breath. "Really good."

Digging around in the fridge, Izumi pulled out some cranberry juice to mix them a drink. "You wind yourself so tight, Flower. I swear, if I didn't come, you would have been pacing all the way up to the exams." Izumi settled in beside her, lifting up her glass. "You and I are going to drink this, and you will tell me _two_ _practical,_ not subjective, reasons why you think you're going to fail the exams."

Taking a huge drink, Sakura sighed. She already knew the first one. "I am a paper shinobi, I have _always_ been a paper shinobi. I-I...I am _best_ at learning things, studying them on scrolls and books and I can ace literally any written test because I can just...memorize it." Her best friend smiled proudly at her. "But what good is a paper shinobi on the battlefield? It's not like I can literally out-study an opponent to death. I can't just spit out the entire scroll of Konoha's Tax Laws and Municipal Courts to them, and they'll just fall over."

Izumi giggled. "Might actually, that scroll sounds deathly boring." Her resulting glare did nothing to her relaxed as can be best friend. "That's one reason, tell me another."

Cocking her head to the side, she knew she had a lot of reasons. But Izumi had said practical reasons. "I don't come from a clan. I don't have a huge backing of secret knowledge. I only have whatever I could find in Resources. How am I supposed to beat _kekkai genkai's_ and _hiden_ techniques? Powerful...techniques that have been perfected over hundreds of years? Techniques that make the established clans _stronger_ than anyone else. I'm clanless. And it's glaringly obvious."

"I don't see it that way." The brunette smiled softly, tucking a stray piece of hair behind Sakura's ear, before running the back of a finger down her flushed cheeks. "Now tell me five reasons why you are _going_ to succeed."

Sakura raised an eyebrow. "Really?"

Izumi frowned. "Yes, really. Do it."

Wracking her brain, Sakura had to put down the drink in order to count on her fingers."Uh, Shisui-chan said when I finally mastered the Body Flicker, I was _nearly_ too fast for the Sharingan to track, so that's one. Oh! I'm good at poisons, I mean I'm still working on establishing full immunity against many of the known ones, but going through the sickness while trying to train was hard. But I'm already at like... thirty poisons I'm immune against?" Surprise lit up Izumi's face and Sakura grinned. "Third, I am the master of the Creation Rebirth Technique. Only the second known person, or so Tsunade-shishou says, that's completed it."

"Immortal Sakura." Izumi sighed dreamily, no doubt remembering the Sasori incident. The Uchiha had successfully convinced Itachi to show her his memory of the fight. Then she made him redo it seven more times.

Scoffing, Sakura took a drink. "I wish. Uh, fourth? Oh! My chakra control is in the 99th percentile. Which means I can easily perform dangerous surgeries on the field, _and_ punch holes through mountains with chakra strength." Running her finger over the rim of her drink, she frowned. "Fifth? I've nearly mastered hand-to-hand combat, with or without the Tantō. I don't even really think about it anymore, it just comes naturally. Kind of like I can almost predict their movements before they make it. It doesn't even feel like it's a weapon in my hands, just an extension of my arm."

It was like a switch that clicked.

Sakura was so stuck in who she _used_ to be. Who other people _told_ her _who_ she was. That paper ninja from nearly a year ago that no one ever thought much of... she was so much more. She was _stronger_. She was a force to be reckoned with. Because she had a variety of techniques, a variety of ways of how to kill someone that can be adapted into any given situation. Even if she didn't have her chakra, she still knew how to throw a good punch, and swing a sharp sword. She had _more_ in her corner than any blood-line limit that was restricted to just one or two techniques.

She had more.

"And _there it is._ " Izumi drawled, pouring herself another drink. "Finally figured it out. You are more well versed. You have a lot in your bag of tricks that they won't be expecting. Use that."

Sakura nodded, finally feeling sure of herself. Reaching for the vodka, Izumi slapped her hand. "Ah-ah-ah, no. You are not getting smashed before your exam. Go drink a glass of water, and go to bed."

Rolling her eyes, Sakura did as she was told. "Yes, mother."

Half-way to her bedroom door, Izumi stopped her in the hallway. "Flower, you do know that you've been personally trained by _two_ different clans, right? The Uchiha and Senju. Not many around here get to brag about that."

 _Huh._ "Never thought about it that way." She smiled. "Night, Iz."

"Night, Flower."

* * *

-x-

* * *

A/N:

Alright kids, we are standing at the threshold of the exams. It's been a long journey here and I am impressed that so many of you are still on board. Thank you for all the love and support. It's the best kind of payment a hobby writer can get.

I have a 5k, 10 page outline of the next like...fuck, I dunno, 30?ish something chapters?

Honestly, it's super messy and literally consists of quotes that popped into my head, along with vague references to scenes and people who are in it, and feelings. Lots and lots of feelings.


	34. Chapter 26

-x-

* * *

It was warm.

 _So_ warm.

Her skin was being bathed in sunshine that you could only ever find in Tea. The soft, rolling waves upon the shore were like music to her.

 _Saaa..._

 _Saaa..._

She frowned.

Do waves make that kind of sound?

Is she even at the beach?

Opening her eyes to the most perfect, blue sky she had ever seen. It was spotless, just the right shade of blue that she liked. Propping herself up on her elbows, she blinked a couple times.

No, she was right. She was on a beach. White sand, entirely empty except for her. Which was rare, since Tea is such a popular tourist spot. She must have found a secret section of beach to get this kind of solitude.

Shrugging, she laid back down, throwing an arm over her eyes. Clearly, she had taken that long awaited vacation. The stress of the past year had gotten to her, and with all this deep relaxation, her mind was only focused on being in the moment.

Because honestly, this place was _heaven_.

 _Kuuu..._

 _Kuuu..._

The call of a bird startled her out of her drowsy state and she shot up again. Head whipping around to look to the treeline that bordered the white sand. She couldn't see the bird, but she could hear it. She had never heard a bird make a sound like that. She got up slowly, adjusting the thin straps of her bikini top, dusting sand off her thigh.

Taking a quick look around, she noticed she didn't even bring a bag. She had nothing else with her except a beach towel.

There was a strange nervousness beginning to grow inside her.

Why was she here?

When did she get here?

Why can't she remember anything beyond this moment?

Sakura walked into the forest, bare feet stepping carefully over twigs and roots. The forest was growing more dense the further she got in, and she _knew_ was wrong. Something wasn't right. She looked back to the way she came, and with startled realization that she wasn't leaving footprints in the moss.

It began as a pit deep in her stomach, heavy with suspicion, and anxiety.

She wasn't supposed to be _here_.

This was wrong.

 _Ra! Ra!_

Birds all around her began to scream at her. She couldn't see them at all, but it was growing louder and louder. She had to cover her ears with her hands, crouching down at just the overwhelming presence that shook her right down to her bones.

 ** _SAKURA, WAKE UP!_**

* * *

-x-

* * *

 **Present Day**

When she opened her eyes, it was to a sky. But it was an ugly sky. Blotchy, gray, threatening a storm, judging by the blackness at the edges. She blinked.

A face filled her vision, worry etched into the lines around the dark green eyes, flakes of dried blood cracking at the movement of her mouth. Her face was black and blue, disfigured horribly. Sakura frowned, realizing this woman was talking to her.

"Sakura, you need to breathe, okay? Just take a breath, please." She pleaded, hands gripping the sides of Sakura's face tightly.

Sakura wanted to move, but there was a strange disconnect between her head and the rest of her body. It was as if it didn't exist. She couldn't feel anything. She couldn't even force her mouth to open to ask why. Because she was having a hard time remembering anything.

Why was she here?

What happened?

Who are you?

What day is this?

All Sakura knew was that she was _supposed_ to be completing the Jōnin exams, so why was she on her back at the bottom of a cliff, with a strange woman kneeling over her?

" _Breathe!"_ The woman with the familiar face cried, tears beginning to fill her eyes. Her hair was knotted with dried blood that nearly looked black against the bright red of the strands. "Please, just _breathe_."

Was she _not_ breathing?

Pausing, Sakura _tried_ to feel something, anything.

It was slow, but there was a strange...burn that was circling around her head, seeping down across her face and she winced. It moved, slipping further down her neck, across her shoulders, her chest.

A chest that wasn't moving.

"Sakura, you're going to die, if you don't breathe right now!"

It was weird, having to think how to breathe. It was something so autonomous. Something that just _happened_ , and she never had to think about it before. But there was a pressure in her chest, an ache she was beginning to feel. She could hear her body yelling at her for air.

But that disconnect was refusing to relay the command to her body.

"Please, please, _please_ breathe. I can't do this without you." The woman had buried her face into Sakura's chest, forcing tangible focus on that area. The pressure of it all finally gave Sakura something to latch onto, an area to focus on, and she forced herself to take the biggest gasping breath of air in.

The black clouds at the edge of her vision had faded to white spots.

"Wh-...ge-..." She tried to speak, but it came out slurred, and she nearly choked on the blood that bubbled out of her mouth.

"Shh, shh." The woman hushed with a heaving sob, a shaky mud-covered hand wiped away the dribble of blood at the corners of Sakura's lips. "Don't talk, your jaw is broken."

That burn that was covering her body had increased. And she could feel _everything_. And gods, she wished she couldn't.

Because she was hyperaware of it all. Every broken bone, every bruise, every cut.

Her shattered nose, her nearly crushed trachea, the ribs that were cracked and out of place and digging into her lungs, the areas of skin that had been rubbed raw and burned, the lacerations that cut so deep into her.

There was no place on her body that wasn't the worst pain she had ever felt.

She breathed again, hot tears forming at the corners of her terribly swollen eyes, and this time, she screamed.

* * *

A/N: No, you didn't miss any chapters. I'm just doing a different timeline for the exams, so make sure you pay attention to the bold headlines!


	35. Chapter 27

-x-

* * *

 **Sixteen Days Ago**

 **Jōnin Exams Day 1**

Sakura refused to fidget.

Her hands were clasped bruisingly tight behind her back, and she was almost certain one of her fingers was losing circulation.

But she could feel them.

The dozens of eyes on her, as she stood nearly shoulder to shoulder with some 30-odd shinobi in the basin of the arena where the Chūnin finals were held. There was a fairly impressive turnout, if she would be willing to admit. The seats were nearly filled, everyone wanting to see who would come out the other side victorious.

But the moment her and the rest of the competitors stepped out onto the field, there was a rolling wave of murmuring from the crowd. Sakura desperately hoped that it wasn't her.

Yet it was.

The gift that Mikoto had left her, an old uniform she had said she used to wear in her Jōnin days, was basically the biggest declaration to the entire crowd of all prominent clan heads and members that Sakura Haruno, Hokage's apprentice, had been claimed by the Uchiha clan.

The traditional Uchiha high-neck short sleeve shirt was near pitch black, and unzipped a bit down to her collarbones. Her pants were a pair of tight spandex that hugged her curves but gave her all the movement she needed. A mesh shirt underneath, a new pair of black arm protectors from Shisui, and mid-calf high boots from Itachi, the only thing really missing was the Uchiha clan mark.

Sakura was positive that if she turned her body a certain way, people could see the faintest outline of it on her back, where Mikoto had unstitched the thread for her.

It also didn't help that Sasuke had decided to stand right beside her, their outfits almost nauseatingly similar. He refused to look at her, speak to her, but she didn't expect anything else from him. After all, in his mind, this was all still a competition. Since he believed the pair would pass, and afterwards, he would have that one-one-one all-out brawl he wanted to see who really was better than the other.

Anko Mitarashi stepped up on a small podium, a lazy smile on her face. "My, my. What a _lovely_ turn-out we have today. Thirty-six eager, bright-eyed Chūnin, ready to take the next step." She held a hand to her chest, looking so much the proud mother. "Honorable, truly. But sadly, one..." she paused, looking at the group of them before tsking. " _Three_ of you will die, and only one of you will become a Jōnin. The rest? Well, no one ever cares about the losers," she grinned, pearly whites gleaming in the mid-day sun.

Sakura felt the growing discontent between the rows, teammates looking at each other. Since this was no longer a group effort, this was a sum of all the individual skills a shinobi had in order to be part of an elite group within the Konoha ranks. And they were all wondering who it was that the proctor saw, and determined right then and there that they wouldn't survive this.

She gripped her hands together even tighter. _I will survive this._

"This exam will last a total of twenty-one days." She mentioned casually. "No one get to leave unless they have failed. With that being said, let's begin with my favorite little game. Finder's Keepers."

Sakura frowned. _Finder's keepers?_

Anko pulled a scroll from her pocket. "There are ten Jōnin scattered throughout the miles of forest surrounding Konoha. They each hold a scroll, just like this one. You," she drawled, tucking the item back into her pants, "need to find the Jōnin, and get the scroll from them. _By any means necessary_."

There were gloating whispers behind her.

"But," she continued louder over the chatter, holding up a hand, "I have one little condition. There is no chakra allowed. You must get the scroll from the Jōnin who is allowed to use chakra. You are allowed to steal the scroll from your teammates, could even incapacitate them for the scroll if you wanted to. But the only thing _I_ care about is that you bring the scroll back to me." She pulled another scroll from her other pant leg. "Which then I will give you this one here."

A hand rose up beside her. Not Sasuke's, thankfully.

"Why are they allowed to use chakra, and we're not? That's kind of unfair, don't you think?"

Anko frowned, one hand on her hip. "It's my exam, kid. I get to decide what's fair and unfair. You think that just because you've run out of chakra in a fight against an enemy, they'll put up their hands and say _'sorry, let's continue this when you're back to full strength?'_ " She pointed a sharpened red nail. "A Jōnin, a true Jōnin knows to never stop fighting. Even when they're out of weapons, out of chakra, out of hope." She scoffed. "Just for that idiotic question, you fail. Get the fuck out."

Sakura was positive you could hear a pin drop with how deadly silent the arena became, everyone waiting on bated breath before Anko snarled her command out again, and the plain looking shinobi to Sakura's right ran out.

"Anyone else have any questions?"

And dear gods above, someone actually put up their hand. "How are we supposed to find you when we have the scroll?"

Anko groaned loudly, throwing her hand back and putting both hands on her hips. "This fucking group this year, I swear to Gods. You're _shinobi_ , I expect you to deduct plausible places where I could be. You, by the way, fail. The rest of you, get out of my sight." She blew a small whistle around her neck, and they vanished.

* * *

-x-

* * *

She had Stepped to one of the closest training fields, trying to roll through all her options first. If there were only ten Jōnin with scrolls, it meant only ten of them would pass into the second part of the exams. It was a quick and dirty way to weed out all the extra baggage.

And damn it all if she wasn't going to be part of that. She was going to succeed and get that stupid scroll.

But there were miles of forest around Konoha. How the fuck was she supposed to find someone in all those trees?

Growling in frustration, she Stepped to her favorite training ground. The one she shared with Shisui for all those months. She would have to keep moving, and figure out a game plan. There wasn't enough time to think of places to look, and most likely her opponents were already engaged in battle. Should she just take the chance and see if she can't track down one of them, and steal a scroll? She had no doubts she could take one of them down and get the scroll.

"Sakura-san," Itachi called softly, where he stood in the middle of the field. Her head snapped up, mid-thought, and to the man in question.

"Itachi-san?!" She gaped, looking around, then her attention landed on the scroll barely visible, attached to his hip. Her stomach dropped. "You're one of the Jōnin."

He smiled and nodded. "I am."

There was no time to cry about it, but saying it out loud made that really hard. "And I... have to defeat you... with no chakra... and get the scroll?"

"By _any means necessary_ , you need to get this scroll from me." He reiterated, hands tucked casually into his pants pockets. He was wearing the bare minimum that a Jōnin would wear, clearly not too concerned about the Chūnin coming for the scroll.

 _And one of those Chūnin is you, Sakura. He's not concerned about you!_

She crouched down into a defensive stance, letting out a breath, the sharp grinding of her tantō releasing from its holder. Her eyes found purchase at the his chest. "Shit," she breathed out, before releasing any negative thoughts from her mind. Focusing solely on defeating the enemy before her.

She moved.

The only thing she ever had to be conscious of was never meeting his eyes. His sharingan could incapacitate her easily, since he was allowed to use chakra, and she wasn't. One look into those eyes, and she would lose.

Her sword hit him at every angle she could get at, her speed sluggishly reduced without chakra, without her Flicker Step. She gritted her teeth as he deftly moved out of each swing, dodging easily like he was batting off a child.

But he never hit her back, never tried to fight her. He stayed just out of reach the entire time, and she was thoroughly annoyed. _Fight back, you coward!_

Until another shinobi dropped in, grabbing the scroll from Itachi's hip, with lightning speed and darting away. Sakura barely had a chance to gape, as she watched the boy wave the scroll tauntingly in her face before disappearing in a flurry of leaves.

She frowned, committing the image to memory and pieced together something vital. "Wait...wait!" She snapped, panting and holstering her tantō to glare down her boyfriend. "That wasn't the right scroll. You don't have the right one."

Itachi dusted off his pants, tucking his hands back into his pockets, leaning against a far tree. Head cocked to the side, an amused smile on his face. "It was a scroll, which he took." Sounding so sure, so casual about it.

"No!" She growled, stomping closer to him. "The scroll that he waved in my face was _not_ the one that proctor showed us. She specifically said ' _a scroll, just like this one_ '. The one he had was _completely_ different."

Humming, he nodding along. "But it _was_ a scroll."

"Goddamn it, Itachi-san!" She sighed, holding out her hand. "Either give me the right scroll right now, or tell me you're a fake so I can go find the _real_ one."

The one thing she didn't expect was a loving smile at her, a kiss pressed to her sweaty forehead and the weight of a scroll in her outstretched hand. A quick glance down told her this was the right one. Off-white, with black edged trims. "But wait..." she frowned, stepping away from him. "Why are you just giving it to me? Don't I have to fight for this?"

He shrugged nonchalantly. "Anko-senpai specifically said 'any means necessary'. Could that also mean that... you could just _ask_ for the scroll?"

 _"It consists of three parts. Mind, body, and aptitude," Shisui ticked off on his fingers. "A Jōnin should be able to pick up all the information needed to complete their mission, even if it wasn't all said. Body language, cues, details are all seriously important to remember. You need to look underneath."_

Not even twenty-minutes into the Jōnin exam and she had literally forgot everything that Shisui had told her about the exams. _Stupid, stupid, stupid!_ She chastised herself, swearing to commit it better to memory. This was how they _really_ did weed out all the extra baggage.

"I hate you." Pouting, she tucked the right scroll into the satchel that hung off her hip, and crossed her arms.

"I adore you," he pulled her tight to him again, whispering a good luck in her ear before pushing her away with a wave. "Go. Demolish these exams. I'll be waiting at the gate for you when you come back."

* * *

-x-

* * *

Now her only problem was finding Anko.

The elusive proctor who never gave a single hint on where they would find her.

 _Okay, just take a breath. What is it that you know about her?_ She thought to herself, as she Stepped all around the village to avoid being caught while she hashed out a plan.

 _Anko Mitarashi, 31 years old, Tokubetsu Jōnin. Trained under Orochimaru, abandoned with a Cursed Seal. Strange obsession with sweets, specifically dango and much like her fellow Jōnin, uses alcohol as liquid therapy._

Sakura finally stopped at the top of the Hokage mountain, overlooking the village. Narrowing her eyes, she ran through the number. _25 dango and sweet shops with the village, and 48 bars. At least half of those are located within the village civilian center._

Tapping her foot, she chewed on her lip. _Okay, so, shinboi don't particularly visit highly trafficked areas, which leaves the southern slums, the eastern clan lands, and the northern shinobi center._

"If I were Anko Mitarashi, would I want dango, or alcohol?" Murmuring to herself, before she felt the spark of chakra and a kunai pressed against her throat from behind.

"The scroll, Haruno," a woman hissed, pressing the weapon further into Sakura's neck, blood faintly dripping down. "Give it to me."

 _Fuck! That is a rookie mistake, you idiot._

"My satchel, left hip. It's inside," she replied, feeling the kunai dip into her neck when she spoke. Then the woman's other hand grabbed roughly at the opening and shoved her hand inside before pulling back with a small cry. Taking the momentary distraction, Sakura knocked the weapon at her throat off, and took a few steps back.

The girl with a familiar face, whose name was on the tip of Sakura's tongue held up a small slit in her hand. Sakura met her eyes which were beginning to cloud over and fade out. "Sorry," Sakura pressed a healing hand to her neck. "That poison is going to keep you out of it for the majority of the day."

A slurred murmur and the girl fell into a pile on the ground and Sakura was careful to open her bag and make sure everything was where it was supposed to be. Including the sharpened razors she attached to the flap that were coated in a very specific poison meant to incapacitate anyone who got it into her blood stream. "Better safe than sorry," Sakura closed the bag and darted away.

Upon touching rooftop after rooftop, it hit her like a ton of bricks. A very vague, blurry memory of a flourish of purple hair sitting down at the Konoha 12's gathering table, coaxing them all into a drinking game.

Then it all made sense. The reason why that dingy little bar in the slums had stayed open this long. Because shinobi were able to drink there, without judgement, without prying eyes into their business. It was a put away little area, that hardly anyone visited if they didn't have to.

Set on her new path, Sakura Stepped to the dive bar, hoping she was right.

* * *

-x-

* * *

It was strange, being here in the middle of the day. The outside of it looked even more broken down than it did at night when it was lit by a few lanterns, the laughter and voices of the customers inside. She went in, narrowing her eyes, trying to adjust to the darker interior, which was filled with smoke and a lifted laugh.

"Well, well! If I were allowed to place bets, Haruno, I would have lost." Anko Mitarashi grinned from her spot at the bar, leaned back against the wood, a tall drink in one hand. Beside her was a pile of those pure black scrolls she had held up during the beginning, eight left if Sakura was counting correctly. And beside that, were eight shot glasses filled to the brim.

Sakura frowned, carefully pulling the scroll from her bag and holding it out to the woman. "Why do you say that?"

Anko took it, unraveling it before tossing it over her shoulder, behind the bar. "You weren't on my top five list. I figured you would come in," she hummed, taking a long drink. "Mm, ten?"

Crossing her arms tightly, Sakura looked away. "Sorry to disappoint. Can I have the second scroll now?"

The proctor's laugh was loud, harsh and just about mocking. "Touchy, touchy!" She grinned, holding out a black scroll for Sakura. Reaching to grab it, Anko pulled it back and gestured to the row of drinks. "Take a shot, then you can have the scroll. Inside, you will have two names for two separate missions. Track them down, figure out what it is that they need from you, complete your missions successfully, and come back here, scroll signed, within the twenty-one days to pass."

 _Of course, they would make us drink alcohol before setting off on a mission._ Sakura irritatingly chewed at her lip, going to grab one when the smell hit her and she took two steps back.

"That's _poison_." Jaw snapping shut, she looked into the gleaming eyes of Anko, whose grin was feral and cruel.

"Sure is, kiddo."

Shaking her head quickly, Sakura _knew_ that scent. It was so distinct, it was ingrained in her mind, right next to Sasori's poison. "The Lady's Nectar," her horrified murmur the only other sound in the bar. _Belladonna poison, known to cause headaches, slurred speech, light sensitivity, hallucinations, convulsions since it directly attacks the parasympathetic system._

This was the most perfect, most _beautiful_ poison that had come out of Sakura's lab. She had perfected it, molded it so that even after taking an antidote, it would linger in the system for weeks, blurring the line between reality and hallucinations. "I am not fucking _drinking_ that! Do you even _know_ what that is?!" She snapped, hating how every poison she made, corrected, perfected would become a weapon that the higher ups would use to their pleasure.

Scoffing, Anko put her drink down, her face losing all pretenses. "'course I do. You _are_ going to drink that. Because I am your superior, and you are my subordinate," her voice went low and she got off her chair to grab a shot and press it into Sakura's shaking hand. "You will drink this, or I will fail you right here, right now."

The only thing Sakura could hear was her pulse in her ears, thumping so loud. "If-...if I ask you why you're making us drink this, will you fail me?"

Because Sakura wanted to know, wanted to understand why they would make them do this? This would be in her system for the entire twenty-one days of the exam. Not only would she have to complete two, most likely A-Rank, missions, she would have to do it while battling delusions, and light sensitivity.

Anko plopped back down on her chair, humming as she swung back and forth. "I'm feeling generous, Haruno, so I'll tell you." Her fingertip circled the rim of one of the poison shots. "Anything can happen out there," she gestured with her hand. "Missions don't always go as planned. Enemies find new ways to take down targets. To be a Jōnin is to still complete your mission. Even if your blood stream is half poison, even if you have lost a limb, even if you haven't slept in a week, haven't eaten in two. Missions given to Jōnin are of the utmost importance and it is for the safety and well-being of the village that the missions are completed successfully."

Sakura looked down the faded purple liquid in her hand, trying to quell the shaking as she lifted it up. Already she was feeling sick to her stomach, and light headed.

This wasn't going to feel good.

This wasn't going to feel good _at all._

It burned, worse than a shot of 90 proof vodka, and she let out a hoarse cough, shot glass shattering on the floor as she keeled over, retching and gagging. Anko hummed happily, pressing the scroll into Sakura's hand with a little push towards the door. "Good luck, kid."

Stumbling out the bar with the scroll gripped tight into her hand, she finally understood why only one person would pass. Why this was the hardest exam of all, next to the ANBU. She thought she knew what to be prepared for. But she was wrong.

She Stepped to the path to the main gate, stomach rolling, and she threw up against the wall. Yet even if she expelled all the poison from her stomach, it was already coursing through her system. She figured she had less than five minutes before the headaches started and her speech slurred. And in about ten minutes, the hallucinations would begin. And if she were lucky, maybe she wouldn't get the convulsions.

Her hands felt like they were ice, trying to pull open the scroll to see her missions. But there were only two names on it.

 _Botan: Earth._

 _Saburo: Wind._

Shoving the scroll into her bag, she took a shaky step forward, her muscles nearly giving out on her. She dug around blindly in her bag for a small cloth bag and ripped it out, pouring the contents of four white pills into her hand. She tossed them in her mouth, swallowing them down with an already drying mouth, feeling them lodge themselves halfway down her throat. They were only generic antidote pills, and would probably stave off the more physical attributes of The Lady's Nectar, and she doubted it would help at all with the delusions.

Passing through the main gates, she took a took a shuddering breath in, coldness seeping through her veins, her head suddenly feeling like it was being drilled into. Thumping in time with her quickened heartbeat, and she had to shut one eye because it was dizzying and nauseated.

"We bet on you, little pink!" The Gate Twins called after her.

"Go fuck yourselves," she snapped back, before taking off in a sprint.

* * *

-x-

* * *

A/N: I know, I know I am SO mean. Probably going to break some hearts later on, sorry to the one reviewer who said I'll make her cry. I'll have tissues on hand for you.

Thank you for following this story, whether you've been here from the beginning or just picked it up! The reviews mean the world to me, and motivate me to continue this on.

(Also yay, we passed over 60k words for a story that was just supposed to be a one-shot.)


	36. Chapter 28

-x-

 **Trigger Warning**

 **Self-harm**

 **Mental Illness**

 **Verbal abuse**

-x-

* * *

 **Sixteen days ago: Jonin Exam Day 1**

Sakura shuddered, craning her neck to the side when she felt _them_ crawl up her neck, circling around her ear. She slapped at the bugs, brushing them away only to feel them dig into her ear canal, all those feet clicking around the inside of her skin.

 **Stupid Sakura, stupid, you're so stupid.** Someone whispered in her ear, and she jolted, turning to the right but saw nothing there but blackened forest, lit scarcely by her dying fire.

Looking down at her hands, she saw that they were shaking. Turning them over, palm up, a spider ran across her forearm. She clawed at it, only for it to eat its way into her arm, beneath her skin. With a turned stomach, Sakura watched a lump move around her forearm.

 **Do it, do it, doitdoitoditodit!** Another angry voice roared, from the left this time.

Kunai hovering over her arm, she slashed it open, ripping the spider from her fascia, crushing it in her hand. Sakura pressed herself further against the base of the large tree, bringing her knees up and wrapping her arms around them.

She had less than three days on her trip to Iwagakure, to get herself figured out. She knew this first night was going to be the hardest. And that she was going to suffer greatly.

 **Worthless Sakura, worthless, worthless, just die, just die Sakura.** Voice C cooed in her ear, vaguely reminding Sakura of a pre-teen girl. These voices were cruel, sometimes barely even making sense. It was hard for Sakura to hear anything else but them, because it was near constant chattering. After ten hours with them, she was able to catalogue the headliners. Voice A always yelled, angry. Voice B whispered. Voice C cooed, and Voice D was a voice of reason. And then there was a chorus of another thousand of them that she couldn't figure out what they were saying to her.

A hand caught her wrist in a tight grip, and she could feel the bones grind together. A gasping breath of pain, she ripped her arm out of the phantom hold, looking down to see an outline on the paleness of her skin. Sakura pressed her forehead to her clasped hands, squeezing her eyes shut. _Please, just let me get through this night._ She prayed, to whatever God, Deity, or force there was in this world.

 **They're in you, they're eating you Sakura. Kill them, rip them out!** Voice B stated from behind her, the feeling of a pair of hands wrapping around her throat, sharpened nails digging into the skin, squeezing.

Sakura clawed at her neck, but nothing was there. The clicking inside her skull was getting louder, circling around her eye, and she rubbed at it.

The antidote pills she took did absolutely nothing for her. She had never realized how truly awful The Lady's Nectar was. This poison, it could easily be the most powerful interrogation tool a shinobi could have. She could think of no better way to break the psyche. It found all the insecurities, nightmares, and memories that haunted the victim and used it to torment ceaselessly.

There was crawling on her arms again, and she scratched at the skin. It felt like there spiders were creating cobwebs all around her, on her, inside of her. It was sticky, restrictive, vaguely itchy. She rubbed at her face.

 **Just give up, Sakura, no one actually thinks you're going to pass** _._ Voice C mocked, and Sakura _hated_ how much it was sounding like Ino the more it spoke. She already had to deal with that mess for years when they were kids, and now she was going to have to go through it all again. **Pathetic, so pathetic.**

She shuddered, stomach turning, when she felt the bugs begin to multiply, crawling down the inside of her face, her neck, across her collarbones. They began to dig their way through her shoulders, her arms, and her hands. Her skin was lumpy, moving in time of their parade.

 **Chase them with the light, the fresh air is toxic, do it Sakura, do it, do it, DO IT!**

Voice D made a compelling argument. Sakura couldn't focus if they were in her arms. Having some cuts in her arms is a pretty tame sacrifice for having complete control. She was certain she still had some bandages in her bag. Since Sakura used a lot of it when she clawed her legs to death because the spider webs made them just _so_ itchy.

Voice A decided he had had enough. **Just commit! Up the middle! END IT ALL, FUCKING WORTHLESS! COWARD!** He screamed, and roared, and Sakura was so certain she was going to go deaf. The kunai clattered to the ground, and she covered her ears with her hands.

 _Please, please, just get me through this night._

* * *

-x-

* * *

She awoke to her name being screamed, pitched, frenzied and loud. She stumbled up from her sleeping position against the tree, eyes darting around from her dead fire, to the misty morning sunlight, to... to-...

"Ino?" Sakura frowned, absently scratching at her forearms. The voices were quiet for once, and the quiet was so _loud_.

Ino, or rather a twelve-year-old Ino crossed her arms. " _Obviously_." She sneered, looking Sakura up and down with a disgusted curl of her lip. "You really proved me wrong, didn't you? It _is_ possible for you to look even more pathetic and stupid than you already do."

"I-..." Sakura faltered, holding a hand to her forehead. "You're not real. This is just another hallucination."

The hallucination, mimic, whatever it was, seemed to take that as a challenge. "Oh really?" She drawled, picking up Sakura's stray kunai. "Watch this," she grinned, before ripping the kunai across her palm. Sakura let out a startled gasp, looking down at her own palm that was cut open and bleeding heavily.

 _This isn't possible. Maybe you're just dreaming,_ Sakura told herself, closing her eyes and taking deep breaths, pressing a healing hand to her injured hand. _Just hallucinations, they're not real._

Mimic-Ino made a small tsk sound, twirling the weapon around her finger. "Not a dream, Sakura-chan, I am _totally_ real because you're _totally_ crazy." She giggled. "Like genuinely, bat-shit, lock you up in an insane asylum, _crazy_."

Sakura turned her back to the hallucination, quickly packing up her things. The day was already late, and she needed to get to Iwa. Her mission was the main focus, she had to keep reminding herself that this was her exam. She couldn't fail now, not after how far she had finally come.

* * *

-x-

* * *

 **Thirteen days ago: Jonin Exam Day 3:**

She was getting close to Iwa, and her symptoms weren't getting any worse.

But they weren't getting any better.

It was mainly at night that the bugs seemed to become more active. The voices wouldn't let her sleep, and now she just had this _constant_ pounding headache behind her eye. It made keeping her eyes open during the day with the sun really hard. Everything was just so bright, and it felt like her head was going to explode.

 **You're so worthless.**

She had already thought about activating her seal to rid her body of the toxins, but she wasn't 100% positive it would work. This was a poison that bound itself to the neurons, burrowing deep and expanding across the synapses. It wasn't even something chakra could purge. And she wasn't going to shorten her lifespan on a theory. The seal was a last-resort, when all else failed, and she was on the brink of death.

 **Pathetic! You're PATHETIC!**

Comparing it to that, Sakura realized she could manage this. Even if she had to deal with a seriously impressive rendering of her ex-best friend, with that snooty high-pitched, 'I'm better than you', voice that was constantly chattering in her ear. Sakura didn't want to see Ino, not since their falling out at New Years. But apparently her psyche had decided that this was the best possible option to torture herself.

Annoyed to death by a 5 foot nothing demon in a frilly pink dress.

Mimic-Ino pressed a hand to her chest, looking offended, phasing through the rock walls that Sakura ran around. "I am like _so-o-o_ offended, Sakura-chan, we're supposed to be best friends. You should be totally glad to see me." Sakura bit back a groan, and forgot that anything that she thought about, imagined, even her memories were all laid open for the mini-demon.

"I would literally have Sasori as my halluciination than you," she snapped, turning away and decided that focusing on the bugs in her head was better than _that_ thing. She had already chased the bugs out of her arms, apparently disliking the open cuts Sakura took to her forearms. Of course, she wrapped them up in bandages, because it didn't look pretty. Voice D had come back with even more compelling evidence that as long as Sakura didn't heal all the cuts on her arm, they would stay away. Which was fine by her.

They made throwing a kunai pretty hard.

But there was no way in hell that she was going to cut open her head just to get them out.

"Miss?"

Sakura's head snapped up, and she realized that she was standing in the middle of the Daimyo's office, scratching at her bandaged forearms, a very pretty secretary frowning at her, looking immensely annoyed and slightly concerned. No doubt Sakura looked a bit more of a mess than usual. Insomnia wasn't a good look for her.

 _When did I get here?_

"Uh-..." Sakura closed her eyes, pressing a hand to her head, but she had no recollection of arriving at all. A deep unsettling feeling nestled itself in her stomach. "Sakura Haruno, here to see the Earth Daimyo," she said through gritted teeth, pulling the black scroll out of her bag to pass off to the woman. Whose gaze flickered to the blood caked underneath Sakura's fingernails.

 **She thinks you're worthless too, look at how disgusted she is by your appearance. She thinks you're ugly.**

The pretty girl nodded slowly, not hiding the way she was analyzing Sakura. "Yes, we have been expecting you. You're here much earlier than we thought, but please, let me take you to him."

 **No, don't! This isn't real! You need to wake up, wake up! Sakura, wake up!**

She followed after her, chewing her lip to death, trying to block out the newly appeared Voice E. The paranoid one, apparently. These hallucinations weren't exactly like Sakura thought they would be. She had expected the psychosis, the bugs, voices in her ears, seeing things that weren't there. But Sakura was losing _time._ Out of the immense testing she did on The Lady's Nectar, loss of time was not one of the side effects. Unless it was just an advanced form of the hallucinations.

 _Damn it,_ she swore. She was going to have to be even more careful going forward. She would have to find a way to keep track of the days, so she knew exactly how long she was gone.

"Ah, this the Fire shinobi?" A low, rumbling voice filled the room and Sakura looked up. She was so lost in her thoughts, she didn't realize the secretary had led her into an impressively large office with dark paneled walls, and plush carpet. One wall was nearly all windows. The entire room screamed money and privilege.

The Earth Daimyo, Botan, was a slim man, with a rough face. Already there was gray beginning to bleed into his receding hair line.

"Yes," she replied, forcing herself to focus, a figure just out of the corner of her eye. "I am Sakura Haruno."

 **No, you're not. This isn't real, Sakura wake up!**

 _"Ooh, Sakura Har-u-u-u-nooo! Miss Thing!"_ Mini-demon sang while darting all around the room. "Don't forget to tell him what a failure you are, okay?"

Botan tossed down his fountain pen, leaning back in his chair to look at her over the top of his glasses. A deepened crease between his eyebrows, a downturn of his lips. "Masato assured me that Team Seven is one the best out there."

"We are a strong team, Lord Botan," she replied, trying not to focus on the fact that mini-demon was currently tucked into Botan's lap, her sharpened nails caressing down the sagging face. "What is the mission?"

She giggled loudly, talking over Botan, drowning out his voice. "Such an _ugly_ man! I feel so sorry for his wife, probably wished she became a nun instead of marrying this disgusting thing! Their children probably are uglier than sin." A cruel grin overtook her pale pink lips. "You're a much better match for him. An ugly man with his even uglier little kunoichi wife."

" _Shut up,_ " Sakura whispered, the headache beginning again behind her right eye. _All of you just shut the fuck up!_

"What did you just say to me?"

 **Wake up, wake up, wake up.**

Sakura felt all the blood rush to her face. "N-nothing, my Lord, I was just commenting on the fact that we won't need any back-up. That's all. You wish to travel to Land of Storms for your bi-annual Daimyo meeting, correct? I can assure you that we will not need any further backup."

She didn't know if Botan bought her flimsy excuse, but he seemed to accept it for now. He gestured to the couch in the middle of the room, where the secretary had come in to place a fresh pot of tea on the coffee table. "You can wait there." He commanded, before going back to his paperwork.

Refusing to let herself collapse down, she slowly eased herself into the cushions, and dug her nails into her palm.

* * *

-x-

* * *

The sky had darkened, and the city was set aglow with lights. Botan's office was high enough to overlook so much of the city. **Jump, you coward.** The buildings were all carved from stone, some even settled into the mountains that surrounded them. It was a nice place, so very different from Konoha. There was a bit of a coldness to it all, but it certainly was pretty at night. She wondered if Itachi and Shisui have ever visited this village. **They don't love you.** Her heart felt tight when she thought about them. She hadn't even been gone that long and she missed them.

 _No, focus._

 **Wake up.**

Sakura cleared her throat, opening her mouth to speak, but Botan's irritated voice cut in. "They are certainly making themselves late, Haruno."

Getting up, she frowned, stepping closer to the desk. The teapot was empty, and her final cup of cold green tea was abandoned. "Uh-... who, my Lord?"

He frowned. "The rest of your team."

"But-...no, I'm sorry, but I am the only contracted shinobi to escort you to Storm." She stated, with a mild nervousness at his clearly growing irritation. His hands slammed on his desk, and he grabbed his jacket from a nearby coat rack.

"Unacceptable! When I lost that bet, I demanded that only the full team Seven were to escort me. I don't want-..." he paused, looking her up and down with a disgusted curl of his lip. "I don't want the _girl_."

 **Don't you see, no one wants you. Worthless.**

He moved around her, office door slamming behind her and Sakura saw _red_.

* * *

-x-

* * *

Of course, the incident had given mini-demon all she needed to tease and mock Sakura the entire night she lay awake in a bed at a nearby inn. Sakura was finding it harder and harder to sleep. If it wasn't a hallucination, or the bugs, it was a chorus of voices whispering in her ear. Things she couldn't even understand. Some would talk loudly, others would scream and it would only make the headaches flare up when they did that.

 **Not worth it, you're not worth it. Up the middle, just end it, end it all for the better of everyone.** Voice B decided to make itself known again.

Mini-demon hadn't stopped giggling. "He's like totally right, who would want _you_ , Sakura-chan? So pathetic, you would totally get him killed, fail your exam, and start a civil war between Earth and Fire." She lay down on the bed beside Sakura, nuzzling in close and it made her nauseous at how _real_ the hallucination felt. Sakura could feel the ice-cold pair of hands wrap around her bicep.

Sakura pressed her palms into her eyes, the bugs inside her head were acting up again, the headache was worse than normal, and this stupid hallucination wouldn't go _away_. "Fuck off," she growled, expecting a retort, but there was only silence.

 **Wake up!**

Opening her eyes, she was alone in the bedroom, and Sakura sighed in relief. She didn't want to admit it, but that hallucination was taking a toll on her. Having a spiteful 12-year-old demon whispering in your ear at all hours of the day was driving Sakura _crazy_.

"Sacchan."

Bolting up, Sakura nearly ran right into Shisui, sitting at the edge of her bed. Hair mussed, freshly showered, a warm smile on his lips. He was wearing that shirt she loved on him, a faded black one that hugged his body. His ANBU tattoo peaking out of the short sleeve. She could smell the pine of his body soap, and it almost made her toes curl.

"Shisui-chan," she breathed, reaching out to touch him. "What are you doing he-..."

 _...fuck_.

 **It's not real, none of this real. You need to wake up, Sakura!**

She wanted to cry. "Please don't do this to me." Sakura begged. She would take Ino, she would her mother, Tsunade, Naruto...anyone, _anyone_ but one of the two men she held close to her heart.

His kind, beautiful face began to turn. Narrowing his eyes, a curl of his lip, a coldness spreading across his features. An expression she had seen him give an enemy once, who had pissed him off. An expression that he had never given her. Until now. "He was right, you know," Shisui got up to take a step closer to Sakura, hand reaching out to brush against her neck. "Who would want _you_ , Sacchan?" His hand curled around her throat, and she could feel the squeeze of a real hand cutting off her airway. Both her hands wrapped around his forearm, nails digging into his skin. "Pathetic, useless _Sakura._ " He squeezed harder and she gasped for air.

 **Useless, useless!** A chorus echoed, chanting.

"Ple-... _please_ don-..." she whimpered under the ever increasing grip.

"No one wants you, no one needs you. Why don't you just die for me, Sacchan?" Shisui murmured into her ear and her vision was beginning to fade in the corners. "We would all be better off without you."

 _This is just a hallucination, you need to snap out of it,_ _Sakura!_ She reached around herself blindly, looking for something, _anything_. Her fingertips touched smooth metal, and she gripped it tightly.

 **Up the middle, commit you fucking coward!**

"Can't hurt me with that," he drawled, leaning back with a glint in his eyes. "I'm in you."

"Not-..." she choked out. "Not for you, asshole."

She slammed the weapon into her body, and just like that, the hand at her throat had disappeared. Mimic-Shisui was gone, and she was left with a kunai four inches deep in her thigh. Her hands were shaking something fierce as she hovered over the weapon to pull it out.

The only good news she had was she had figured out a way to stop the hallucinations. Even the voices were quiet.

The bad news is that it was going to hurt every time.

In the distance, she could hear Ino's giggling.

* * *

-x-

* * *

A/N: I hope you guys are happy, I've watched at least 50 youtube videos about hallucinations, and schizophrenia so I could get the most accurate portrayal of it.

The virtual headphone ones seriously fucked me up.

Mental illness is real. Support those who have it.


	37. Chapter 29

-x-

* * *

 ****Rewritten as of December 18th****

* * *

A/N: Okay, I have received MULTIPLE messages about how confusing the story is becoming and I had a _feeling_ it was. So I rewrote the chapter, to ensure a smoother timeline. I apologize for creating a confusing story, and that wasn't my intention. I'll try and be a bit more clear and concise, moving forward.

* * *

 **12 Days Ago**

 **Jonin Exams Day 4  
**

She watched the sun rise, a blanket pulled from the bed wrapped tight around her, nestled into the crook of the open window. The air was cool, and felt like a refreshing splash of water on her face. Everything was quiet. She felt a strange disconnect between herself and everything else. It was as if she were somewhere untouchable, unreachable by the voices, the ache of her wounds, the blackness of her feelings.

She could think. Clearly, for the first time in days. She felt as if she were in the eye of the storm, and while that gave her a small measure of comfort, she knew that the second half of the storm was always worse.

But really, what could get worse than what she had already experienced?

There was no use getting worked up about it now, she would take it in stride when she got there. She had more pressing things to figure out while her head was quiet. In moments like these, what would the Uchiha's say? How would they help her with quite possibly the biggest misogynist asshole she had ever met?

Izumi and Shisui would simultaneously agree that she should burst in there, feral and screaming, flashing killing intent and forcing the poor civilian into submission.

Itachi, ever the level headed one, would tell her to channel her Chief Medic self. After all, if that girl could get the fearsome Bear to stand down, she could easily get a Daimyo to bend to her will.

Lord Botan was an asshole. Probably the biggest one she had ever met. She wasn't a stranger to misogyny. But it became rare once she got stronger. While men don't typically appreciate a woman that can overpower them, she found they had no arguments when they saw how easily she is able to crack open the earth with her fist.

But even Tsunade wasn't immune to sexism. She was a Hokage, and yet still her council consisted of men who undermined her, opposed her at every turn, would scoff and roll their eyes, wondering if it was her time of the month that made her so irritable. They would sneer and whisper to each other that women's feelings were so volatile, they had no place in positions where only men could be consistent and clearheaded.

Why is it that kunoichi's were the only ones sent out on seduction missions? Forced to pull on a skin-tight dress, flirt with aged men, bed them for information? She had never seen a _man_ do that.

So. Her two options on how to get Lord Botan to comply with the escort mission so she could get it out of the way and move onto the second client.

She could march in there, and let it loose. Yell at him in her Chief Medic voice, ordering him around, and prove that she wouldn't be opposed.

The other was to go in there nicely, explain the situation, tell him that he wouldn't find anyone else on such short notice. She would list all of her accomplishments, tell him that he was safe with her. Tell him that she was _exceptional_ at what she is. She was _worthy_. **You're useless.**

Sakura groaned, burying her face into her knees. An hour, she had a solid _hour_ without the peanut gallery in her ears. She wanted to tear up because that was the best hour of her life. She tossed the blanket off, rolling her shoulders and prepared for the day.

* * *

-x-

* * *

Fresh and early, she walked right past the reception and burst into Botan's office. His sneer was still in place one he took a good look at who it was. The voices inside her head were scratching at the curve of her ear, and she bit down. "Lord Botan," she started, voice low and as compelling as she could make it. No matter how much she despised the man. No matter how much she wanted to just walk away from this mess. "I am Sakura Haruno. I am the Hokage's apprentice. I have mastered chakra control, I can heal any injury, and I am the one and only thing that will get you from here to Storm in one piece."

He opened his mouth to argue with her, but she shut it down with a fist cracking down on his mahogany desk, the wood groaned loudly. "Sir. Either you can accept me as your escort, or you can miss your meeting. I doubt that you will find any strong team to escort you last minute." She leaned in closer, dropping her voice. "I have never failed a mission."

She met his gaze and held it, refusing to back down. His mouth opened and closed, opened and closed before he tsk'd loudly, shoving his paperwork away from him, his gaze tearing away from hers and she refused to fluff up in pride.

"Excellent choice, sir. We leave in two hours, please be ready."

* * *

-x-

* * *

As promised, the man was packed and ready, loaded up into his gilded carriage like some King.

 _Well,_ she thought to herself, _Daimyo were the closest thing the world had to a King._ She could only thank the lucky stars that it wasn't just one Daimyo to rule the world, and that decisions made were based on 'all in favor'.

The horse between her thighs was warm, an almost soothing jostle as they cantered towards Storm. The mountains were falling, replaced by a sea of trees and darkened skies that threatened to rain. After being a few days in a mountain range, she loved being back where the main color was _green_. She was Konoha, born and raised, and having all the color sucked out of her life was pretty saddening.

A quick glance to the Daimyo's carriage, the curtains of his window shut tightly, she frowned at him. When she got back to Konoha, she would beg, no. No, she would demand to Tsunade to never, _ever_ give her another Daimyo escort mission. While the Fire Daimyo was a fairly tolerable man, he still spoke with an underlying expectation about women and what their true purpose in life was.

Bet Sasuke and Naruto never had to deal with that kind of stuff.

Sakura shuddered as there was a strange hissing in her ear, the clicking of tiny feet curling around the inside of her head. She gritted her teeth, cursing the fact that she couldn't quite get rid of how unsettling that feeling was. While the effects of the Lady's Nectar were slowly beginning to fade, she still had to deal with how _alive_ the underneath of her skin felt, the droning of voices somewhere in the distance.

"Mm, Sakura-chan," the little demon drawled, curling around Sakura's body to drape herself in Sakura's lap. "It's going to take a bit more than that to get rid of me," the blonde grinned with a touch of feral, of insanity. Her fingers traced down the angles of Sakura's face. "How do you even know that this right now is real? You could just be in a illusion."

Sakura refused to even acknowledge the presence, or acknowledge her words. She had to believe that what she was experiencing now was the truth, was reality. With, unfortunately, a few hints of psychosis mixed in. She may end up blacking out for a bit, experience things that never really happened, and think that these hallucinations were hurting her, but she had to remind herself that it was all in her head. That she was the one in control here.

"Aw," Ino cooed. "Is that what you tell yourself to make you feel better?" She giggled loudly. "Give it a few more days, we'll see how you feel about that then, mm?"

 _I am in control. I am the one in control._

 _I create my reality._

Sakura swallowed thickly, picking up the pace, trying to outrun her ghosts.

 _I am in control._

* * *

-x-

* * *

A/N: Luckily the decision to amend this chapter doesn't mix up anything I've written past this too much.

I understand the dates of the chapters are confusing, but right now, we're in the past. We're in Sakura's memories and just playing catch up to the future.


	38. Chapter 30

-x-

* * *

 **9 days ago**

 **Jonin Exam Day 7**

There was a clicking of a pen in the boardroom.

Click, click.

Click, click.

Tap, tap, tap.

Click, click.

Sakura was nearly biting through her lip to stop herself from yelling at the Water Daimyo to ' _please for the love of Gods, stop before I take that pen and jam it in your eye.'_

Click, click.

 **Kill him. Do it. Kill him.**

Calming breaths didn't help her here. Not even digging her nails into her own palm seemed to take her mind off of it. She felt like she had lightning in her veins, and it was getting increasingly hard to stay still. Pressed up against the wall where she, and four other contracted shinobi stood behind their charges. They were allowed to be inside since the one time the shinobi were to wait outside, there was a mercenary attack that took out two of the five Daimyo's, and just about killed two more.

It was unanimous that protection be close at hand, at all times.

Click, click.

But Sakura would give her right leg to just get that man to _stop_ _clicking his goddamn pen_.

"Oooh, Sakura-chan," Mimic-Ino cooed, wrapping her arms around Sakura. "You're so tense! You like totally need a massage."

 _And now this is the worst it can be_ , she thought to herself. _I think I like it better when you torment me, and not crush on me like a pre-teen girl.  
_

There was a shuffling, the men rising from their chairs, reaching around to give each other handshakes and pats on the back. No doubt congratulating themselves for being the most powerful men in the world. Now that she thought about it, she never heard of a female Daimyo before.

 _Sexist bastards._

"Haruno-kun," The Fire Daimyo came up to her with a familiar smile.

"Lord Masato," she greeted with a low bow. "It's nice to see you again."

He clapped her on the shoulder. "Looks like you're doing well. Old Botan not giving you too hard a time, eh?" He leaned in with a secret grin that told her he _knew_ exactly what kind of misogynistic man the Earth Daimyo was.

Shaking her head, she put on her best professional smile. _Fuck you and your group of sexist assholes._ "Absolutely not, my Lord. He has been quite pleasant to work with."

Masato frowned slightly, faltering. "Huh. Well, I must leave, but I look forward to seeing Team Seven again in the autumn for our annual retreat to the warm south."

Another deep bow, and she was called away by the king of misogyny himself.

Botan tossed his jacket at Sakura, who scrambled to catch the very expensive fur before it hit the ground. "I want to stay the night before we leave for Iwa. Prepare dinner for me, and I would like some sake as well." He demanded, as she rushed after the man with Nakamura the advisor trailing. The timid, quite lanky looking man had traveled ahead to prep for Lord Botan's arrival, ensuring a comfortable stay. "Clean my clothes as well. It doesn't do my image well if I am covered in dust and grime while returning."

She bit back a resigning sign. _Just three more days. Just get through three more days._

* * *

-x-

* * *

She awoke to bugs lodged in her throat, in her nose, choking and gasping for air. She clawed and scratched at the elusive things that disappeared back inside her body. The feel of their feet crawling around inside her. She grabbed the kunai from underneath her pillow, slashing a deep cut across her bare thigh, and like magic, it all disappeared.

She tossed the weapon on the other side of the bed, grabbing a stray towel from her shower, and pressing it to the wound. Sakura pinched the bridge of her nose, and like clockwork, a headache was beginning to build up in her left eye this time.

It was always a pattern.

The bugs would wreak havoc inside her, escalating to feeding on her insides. Then the headaches would pound, make her nauseous and sensitive to light. The voices came after that, dozens of them speaking in her ears, scratching at her ear canals.

And of course, the Mimic which always appeared somewhere in between all that.

There was always a shift whenever Mimic would appear. Like a new chakra signature, except different. "Go away," her voice heavy, tired, _exhausted_. She had been living with this poison in her system for eight days, she had learned how to battle the side-effects, but she was barely getting an hour of sleep each night. It was getting so hard to focus, to concentrate.

The Mimic didn't say anything, and that made Sakura nervous. Glancing up, she wished it were someone else. Anyone else _but_ Sasori.

His neck was still jagged, cut open, raw and bleeding down his uniform. He stood at the foot of her bed, arms crossed, staring her down.

"What?" Sakura snapped, looking away. "Is this supposed to scare me? I killed you, you're _dead_. How are you going to hurt me now?"

He cocked his head to the side, a sickening slick sound of where his skin was beginning to rip apart. Her stomach rolled. Mimic-Sasori reached a hand up, and clawed down his face with blunted nails.

Sakura let out a sharp gasp, feeling it on her skin. She reached up to feel the four scratch marks on her face. He did it again, and the blood was leaking into Sakura's eyes. "Stop!"

Mimic-Sasori clawed, and clawed, and ripped at his own face. Sakura's was facing the punishment when he began to dig for his own eyeballs. She screamed, when she felt his blunted nails scratch at her eyeballs, digging and digging and _digging_.

Her eyes were bleeding, her face was a torn-up mess and she screamed. _"Stop it!"_

* * *

-x-

* * *

In the mirror, she ignored the bug that lurked out the corner of her eye. Her face was a mess of scratch marks, her eyes blazing red, swollen and bloody. She didn't know what happened after last night. Maybe she passed out due to pain. Maybe she's in a hallucination right now.

Looking down at her hands, her nails were caked with her own blood, traces of her own flesh underneath. She reached to turn on the water, turned it as hot as it would go, and she scrubbed.

"The hallucination is not doing this to me. I am doing this to me." She told herself. "I don't fear the hallucinations. They are not real."

She tied an eight knot on a rope wrapped around her wrist. It was the only way she could think of tracking the days without causing further harm to her body. She pressed healing hands to her face, watching the marks disappear.

A loud pounding on her door caught her mid-scratch for another multi-legged fiend coming out of her ear. "Haruno-san! Lord Botan is ready to leave," Nakamura called from the other side of her door.

"I am not crazy."

Mimic-Ino popped up at that moment with a doubtful look. "You sure about that, Sakura-chan? Don't you think that this poison is working a _lit-t-t-le_ too well?" She fake-gasped, pressing a manicured hand to her mouth. "What if it isn't the poison at all? What if you really are bat-shit insane now? Oh dear, your little boyfriends totally don't want a basket-case."

She didn't want it to, but that little seed of doubt had been planted and her voice sounded less sure than before. "I am not crazy."

The chorus of voices in her head openly mocked her.

* * *

-x-

* * *

 **7 days ago**

 **Jonin Exam Day 9**

Sakura came to with a fist flying straight to her face. Only by years of training, years of honed instincts had her ducking, and plunging a kunai directly into the attacker's abdomen. The masked man was down, with another coming up quick behind her.

Her sword unsheathed, she Stepped behind the man, swinging down at him. This one blocked it with reinforced arm guards, trying to get her to back off with a rounded kick.

It worked, and she skidded back, nearly tripping over a body.

She was somewhere between Storm and Earth, judging by the landscape. She wasn't out of it as long as before, which gave her hope that maybe these blackouts would stop.

"Just hand him over, and I'll share the profit with you," the mercenary called, pulling himself into a defensive position. "He ain't worth all this," with a gestured to the twelve off bodies around them.

Sakura took a deep breath, forcing herself to remember all the training she had. She sheathed the sword, with a nod of her head. "How much are we talking?" She called, hunching her shoulders, trying to look as innocent as possible.

But, this man had watched her take down his fellow teammates. He wouldn't be fooled that easily.

From behind the mask, she could tell he was grinning widely. "See, I knew you'd come around. I mean, now that all these worthless sods are dead, it just means more for us."

She hummed, nodding along. "Honestly, I can't _imagine_ the kind of money a Daimyo pulls in. I don't know why I didn't think of it before."

His attention had been caught, and Sakura just needed to find the _right_ moment. He took a step forward to her, kunai twirled around his finger. The moment he released it from his hand, aiming for her chest, she was gone.

Her weapon was already cutting across his neck, and the he fell to the ground, choking to death in his own blood.

When she rejoined Botan and Nakamura, they both had equal looks of distrust on their faces, no doubt having heard the conversation she had. "What?" She snapped, ripping off her bloody bandages to rewrap them. "I didn't mean any of it."

"A-ah," Nakamura laughed nervously, rubbing a hand along the back of his neck. "Glad you're on our side, then?"

Sakura knew this exam was going to kill her. Either literally or figuratively. She never had to deal with these type of people when she did her own solo missions. But those were mostly information gathering, maybe the odd escort mission for noble ladies. She promised that when she got back to the village, she would demand to Tsunade to never, ever give her a Daimyo mission ever again. Especially in Earth country. She never wanted to set foot in Earth country _ever_ again.

"Lets go." Sakura demanded, tying off the bandage and pulling herself up onto her horse, coaxing him into a canter.

* * *

-x-

* * *

A/N: Alright kids, we're getting close to the present time.


	39. Chapter 31

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* * *

 **Three days ago**

 **Jonin Exam Day 13**

She took it back.

She took it all fucking back.

She would rather have to do _twenty_ Botan escort missions than to spend another minute in the fucking _desert_.

 _After_ she dropped off an ungrateful Botan to his estate in Iwa, he stamped her scroll, tossed it at her and told her to go away. Nakamura, on the other hand, said he was grateful for her protection, commenting how strong she was and that if given the chance, he would request her. She wondered if he saw her begging with her eyes not to.

She barely spent another hour in Iwa, replenishing her stock, and darting off to her next mission. Time was a factor here, and if she could finish this stupid exam with time to spare...but instead, she rushed right into the one thing she hated more than sexist men. Overwhelming heat and sand.

All _around_ her was sand. Hot, dusty, burn your feet sand. The sun was relentless, it was bright, and it made her headaches flare up at all times. The blackness of her Uchiha made outfit only seemed to suck up the sun, cause her skin to burn, and sweat run down her back.

The only _good_ thing is that when she was having headaches, there were no voices to annoy her, no bugs to crawl around in her head. And she had officially gone three days without a black out. If that wasn't a good sign, she wasn't sure what was.

Sakura had managed to spend a few hours in Suna, questioning them about where she could begin to look for someone named Saburo. Temari had no idea, but she was quite happy to see her old friend. Gaara hadn't heard the name, but understood when Sakura declined to join them all for dinner. Kankuro wished her luck, and refilled her bag with more bandages, and weapons. He had even given her a stronger version of a generic antidote pill on the terms that Sakura find time to come back and experiment on new poisons with him.

It was by chance, really, that she was sitting at the bar, nursing a cold glass of water, when she heard the name.

"...Saburo said so."

Her head snapped up, and she just about tackled the poor civilian of his bar seat. "Where did you hear that name?" She gasped, hand squeezing his arm.

"Get off me!" The man growled, ripping out of her hold. "Why should I tell you?"

"I need to speak with Saburo. It's in regards to a mission." She just about panted, a new rush of energy running through her. It was only 13 days into the exam, she still had _eight days_ to complete the mission and get home. She could do it, there was still so much time! She could still pass this exam.

But the civilians eyes narrowed, and he looked more uncomfortable than before, looking her over. A nervous jitter started in his leg and he looked over at his companion who refused to look up from the table. "He's uh-... village head of Crossroads. A-..." he paused, licking his lips, eyes darting back to his companion before looking down at the table. "A civilian village, to the south-west, near the coast."

Sakura wanted to cry. Wind was one of the largest countries there was, and she wouldn't have had time to search any of the scattered villages around it for her target. Judging by the man's reaction to the name, this wasn't going to be an easy mission for her. She couldn't tell if it was fear, or something else in the civilian man's face, but she was grateful all the same.

She slapped a handful of coins on the table, thanked him for his information, and was gone.

* * *

-x-

* * *

It was modestly sized, and looked just about abandoned. But the carved name in the wood sign at the front of the gates told her that this was Crossroads.

She pulled a kunai from her weapons pouch, tucking it into bandages wrapped around her arms, just within reach as she moved down the main street. Doors were closed, and shutters were locked up tight. Every building nearly looked the same. A bland stucco, cracked and sun-bleached. There were places where window-sil flowers once stood, but there was nothing there now except dried vines, and crumbling leaves.

Looking down, she swiped her foot across the sand, seeing a polished stone road beneath. No doubt this place was once quite beautiful and lively.

There was a faint sound, a crack, and her attention snapped to it. A second-level window was open, and Sakura could see a small brunette head peak out before a woman came by, and pulled the shutters tightly closed.

Something wasn't right here and it made her nervous.

The largest building at the end of the main road had a door open, and Sakura took that as an invitation.

Or it was a trap.

 _Well, guess we'll see_.

The wooden door creaked loudly when she entered, sunlight streamed through the pale glass into the hall. Pews lined the room, to a dias at the front where a group of three old men sat. The place was reminiscent of an aged temple.

Their chattering ceased as soon as her shoes echoed on the ancient wood.

"I am looking for Saburo." She stated, fingertips touching the handle of the kunai on her wrist, eyes darting around the room for anything out of place in the faint sunlit room.

The middle man shot up, his chair clattering backwards to the ground. "You're a shinobi?" A little breathless, laced with desperation. A civilian man, old beyond his years.

"Are you Saburo?" She stopped near the dias, watching all three men glance around at each other.

"I am," the middle one said, picking up his chair and sitting back down. "You... received my request for help?"

Nodding, she slowly began to relax her body. "I did."

Saburo frowned, propping his elbows on his legs. "I sent that request out weeks ago. I put desperately urgent at the top."

Not liking the way his tone was turning, Sakura crossed her arms, pulling herself up to glare him down. "If it was such an urgent matter, I don't understand why you wouldn't contact the Kazekage instead."

It was quick, but there was a flare of irritation, that melted into that desperate look again. "We tried, but he ignores our request! Says it isn't important enough to waste time on."

 _That doesn't sound like Gaara._ Sakura frowned, trying to pick up on anything more from the three old men. Saburo was the only one who spoke, but the other two had practiced looks of fear and desperation on.

"What is the mission?"

"Bandits." Saburo pulled a piece of parchment from his pocket, handing it over to Sakura. "There is a bandit leader and he comes into our village every now and then to drink all our fresh water, eat all our food. He steals girls that he takes a fancy to, keeps him prisoner in his camp." Saburo looked down at the floor, wringing his hands together. "We can't stop him, and since he isn't well known, and doesn't have a large following, the Kazekage said it was wasted time. We don't-... we barely have the money to pay for this." He looked up with tears at the corner of his eyes. "Kenji has tormented this village for so long, and many of us are so poor now that we can't leave. We wouldn't have anywhere else to go."

This was the truth, Sakura figured, remembering how completely dilapidated most of the village was. "Okay," she replied, taking a look at the parchment. It had a small map from Crossroads, to a place at the coast with the name Kenji. "Okay, just tell me all that you know about him and his band."

"Small," one of the other men cut in, with scars on his forehead and down one eye. "Maybe ten, maybe a bit more."

She hummed, tucking the parchment into her bag. "Civilians as well?"

The third man nodded. "Yes, but they are all strong. We tried to fight back once, but they beat us and took nearly all our girls over the age of fifteen."

That rubbed Sakura the wrong way, and she couldn't help but think about Maiya. If they were taking girls that young, it didn't take a genius to figure out what they were doing.

She was disgusted. And it wasn't just the scratching of the bugs returning behind her eyes. She snapped her eyes shut, taking a huge breath and forced a normal voice. "I will need a room at an inn for the night, and I will take care of this tomorrow." She opened her eyes, and it was just as she feared. Another hallucination stood right in front of her, it was Shisui again. Cold eyes, bared teeth, sharingan spinning wildly. He was yelling at her. Calling her all the things she never wanted to hear come out of his beautiful mouth.

She could barely hear the village head over Shisui, before she turned around and stumbled out of the town hall back into the blazing hot sun. Just like magic, the hallucination was gone, and her headache was back.

The antidote that Kankuro had given her didn't seem to be doing much of anything. Her shoulders sagged and she made her way off to the right where she vaguely heard Saburo say the inn was.

* * *

-x-

* * *

The inn bar was just about empty, save for one or two men that kept looking back to Sakura sitting at the bar top. The woman, much older with face filled with wrinkles and lines, pursed lips, cleaned a glass.

"If ye've got time to stare, why don'tcha go 'ome to yer wives an' stare at 'em?" She snapped loudly, pointing to the front door where the two men guiltily slithered away. Sakura let out a soft laugh, taking another big sip of water.

"Don't see a lot of visitors?" She commented conversationally, the barkeeps dark green eyes pausing on her.

She huffed, setting down the glass. "Not really." She gestured with her chin to Sakura's glass. "Too good fer the hard stuff?"

Sakura shook her head. "No, I love the hard stuff. I just don't drink when I'm on a mission. I'm Sakura, by the way." She smiled.

Naomi, as she was called, didn't return it. "Yer here to take care of that bandit problem we 'ave?"

"That's the plan."

Naomi slapped down a key. "Room's on the second floor, third on the right," before disappearing into the back, leaving Sakura alone in the bar. That unsettling feeling growing inside her again.

Finishing off her drink, she made her way up the stairs, finding her room already open, the sound of shuffling inside. On attack mode, she rushed in, kunai just about released when she came face to face with a young girl with a scarred face, dropping an armful of towels.

"Oh gods!" She cried, stumbling backwards.

Sakura cursed herself for being so on edge. The girl was just a housekeeper, dropping off fresh towels. Insisted it was all okay, and that Sakura had a right to be so suspicious.

Crawling into bed that night, she was pleasantly surprised to find, that she had managed to fall asleep for the first time in thirteen days.

Guess Kankuro's antidote wasn't shit after all.

* * *

-x-

* * *

A/N: Sometimes I still get so surprised at how many follows, faves and comments this story has. I honestly just started it with a one-shot and now we're here. So, thank you to everyone. I hope you all have a great Christmas if you celebrate that, or have a good Holiday, or just have a very nice Tuesday and Wednesday.

Drinks for the new year are on me!


	40. Chapter 32

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* * *

 **2 day ago**

 **Jonin exam day 14**

The sun was barely beginning to peak over the horizon, when Sakura left the sleepy village. If she was going to catch the bandits off guard, doing it when they're all still asleep was the best time. If she knew anything about bandits, it was that they drank like fish, stayed up late and slept until the sun was half-way across the sky.

The map that Saburo had given her was quite useful when navigating the sand dunes. Everything was starting to look the same after a while, and Sakura was running at full speed for a while until she caught the fainest hint of the sea.

Just over the last sand-dune, lay what was once a very impressive multi-towered castle build near the edge of a cliff on the coast. The sea was the most brilliant blue she had seen. Twinkling in the rising sun, it was beautiful.

If she were even to pick a vacation spot, somewhere here would be perfect.

Zoning in on the only standing tower left, there was some twenty-odd tents pitched up in a large circle where what looked to be an old stone courtyard stood. There was a large pit in the middle, still smouldering from a late night bonfire.

There were more tents than she liked, clearly Saburo had his numbers a bit off, but if she was strategic about this, and careful, it wouldn't be a problem. This would be quick and easy, then she could begin her sprint home. Victorious, and back to the safe arms of her boyfriends and Izumi.

She was quick to coat her kunai with a deadly poison that killed almost instantly. Then she crept her way around the tents. Figuring out which one was the bandit leaders wasn't hard. The biggest, most impressive one stood at the very front of the circle. At least twice as big as the rest. Her ears were nearly straining to hear any other sounds than that of breathing, or the occasional snore.

All she had to do was take out the leader first. Then she could go through each tent one by one.

She cut a small hole into the tent, just big enough for her to squeeze through. It was darker inside, and filled with many possessions. Gold and trophies glimmered on the wooden stands, furs lined the floor and the enormous bed nearly took up all the room. An equally enormous man lay face down, snoring loudly, half-naked and covered in more hair than she ever thought a man could be. She didn't know a human and a bear could have a child.

It was quick, clean and easy, the way her kunai ripped across his throat, shoving his face back into the pillow to muffle any gurgling or groans. He was dead within seconds, and she stayed as perfectly still as possible. Straining once more to hear if anything had changed, if anyone had heard.

Sakura was half-adrenaline, creeping back out her little hole. Only to come face to face with a mountain of a man waiting patiently for her, armed for battle.

She swung with her kunai, trying to get him to back off when he began to reach for her. "Got a live one, boys!" The man roared, grabbing the attention of the full crew. From where she darted, she could see the mass amount of men come crawling out their tents, armed, and ready.

All the chakra signatures coming to life alone told her that Saburo had _lied_ to her.

These weren't just civilian bandits.

These were missing-nin of mercenary rank.

This wasn't an A-Rank solo.

This easily was a ANBU-rank mission for a team.

Her stomach clenched tight and she took a shaking hand to the hilt of her tanto. This was a set-up. A trap, that she had just walked _right_ into.

Suddenly, it all made sense. The strange look Saburo would give his advisors, the unspoken words. The flash of pity in Naomi, the bartender's eyes. Sakura's sixth sense had been _screaming_ at her that something about all this was wrong. From the very moment she had spoken to that man in Suna's bar.

And she ignored it, because focusing on completing this mission as fast as possible was the only thing she thought about, cared about.

"Cute little kitten thinks she's gonna fight us all," the man to her left mocked loudly, earning many laughs and jeers from the others, the sly licking of lips. "Why don't you just make it easier on yourself and surrender quietly. We don't wanna hurt you." The look in his eyes told her completely different.

 _Live, Sakura, live because you don't know how to_ _die._

Her chakra reserves were high enough that she could Step as many times as she wanted to. Sakura was all around the tents, stabbing and slashing before Stepping again to repeat. She never stayed still long enough for anyone to lock onto her position. In milliseconds, she analyzed exactly where she needed to go next, saw the places where they couldn't catch her.

It was too late for her to run. They knew this area better than her. The only thing she would be risking is getting lost in the desert, with next to no water source and no physical protection. The map was somewhere in the fake leader's tent and definitely out of her reach now.

She got overconfident, watching at least five men succumb to her poison. Because the last time she stepped, there was a sharpness of a needle in her neck. The real mercenary leader stood behind her, hot breath on her skin. "Quick little thing, ain't ya?" She could hear the grin in his voice, and felt something strange course through every nerve ending she had in her body. Coarse through her chakra channels.

"What did-...what the fuck did you just do?" She Stepped, but found that no chakra would come to her call. It wouldn't coat her feet, her skin. She tried again, and she could feel her chakra within, but it wouldn't come.

Kenji waved the empty needle in his fingers. "Convenient little thing, chakra blockers. Find a man and pay enough money, and little cunt's like you don't become a threat at all."

"Ch-...chakra blockers?" Her stomach clenched tightly, and she gripped her tanto until her fingers turned white, eying the men who began to come closer to her. "No one has ever successfully made a chakra blocker that worked."

He shrugged, tossing the needle over his shoulder. "Someone did, and boy, you just _can't_ put a price on that kind of convenience." His grin promised that he would hurt her. Hurt her in ways that only a female could be hurt.

She swung wildly, having echoing memories of her fights with Shisui where he didn't allow her to use chakra, and her fight with Itachi for a scroll. Anko's voice echoing in Sakura's ears. _"A true jonin knows to never stop fighting. Even when they're out of weapons, out of chakra, out of hope."_

She breathed, centering herself and fought again.

And she fought _hard_.

Even when her sword was knocked out of her hand, even when an elbow found her face, even when she reached for more weapons and found nothing in her satchel.

She fought even when she had nothing left but one fist, and all her other limbs were being held down by men with smiles that made her skin crawl.

She fought until a fist found the underside of her jaw, and her world went to black.

* * *

-x-

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A/N: Man, trying to write out a jonin exam is kind of hard. It's always a battle between "is this too much, is this not enough?" What would kill a normal person? How normal are shinobi? On a scale of immortal to pathetically human?


	41. Excerpt VIII

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* * *

"Ita- _kuuun_ ," Izumi let out a whine, stamping her wedged sandals against the polished courtyard stone, wiggling around in her seat, a pout full on her lips. She nearly winced at how _completely_ more childish it came out than it did in her head, but mama Mikoto didn't raise no quitter. She was going to _commit_. For good measure, when he didn't react, she whined even _louder._ A civilian from an adjacent table looked over.

Itachi flicked down the corner of his newspaper with a raised eyebrow, glancing around the café slash flower shop courtyard to the bustling street at mid-morning outside the fence back to her. "Izumi, we're in public."

Izumi wiggled around again, with a grumble, sliding down in her seat. Her spring dress riding up her thighs, the peak of her spandex shorts underneath at the edge. "I'm bored!"

He let out a long breath, setting the paper down and reaching for his coffee cup. He took a sip before setting it back down to stir another sugar cube in. "She's only been gone two weeks." He replied simply.

Izumi reached out from her slouched position for her strawberry Frappuccino, wrapping both hands around the plastic cup, chewing on the straw. "And my life is literally meaningless without her." She said back dramatically.

Taking another drink of his coffee, Itachi settled into his chair with another long sigh. "When she's ANBU, she'll be gone on much longer missions, you realize."

It was as if Izumi didn't even think about that, the straw popped out of her gaping mouth, her face falling. "But-..." She paused, then lit up. "That's why I'll make sure Ibiki-kun puts me on missions with her!"

He snorted out a laugh. "Have you even talked to Morino-san about your reinstatement to active duty yet?"

Her face fell again. "No." He raised his eyebrow in a questioning manner and she guilty looked away, putting the sugar sweet drink back on the table to fidget with the edge of her short dress. "I just know he'll rub it in my face that he was right when he said that I would be back before long."

She had hoped to find sympathy with her oldest friend, but found he had none to give her. "It'll get worse the longer you wait," he replied, draining his coffee and getting up. "Take care of it today."

Crossing her arms against her chest, she tucked her chin to her chest. "Do I _have_ to?"

Itachi sighed again, knowing that there was only one thing that would convince her. "Don't you think Sakura would be happy knowing that you'll be her ANBU-senpai when she gets back?"

Like a charm, Izumi perked right up, eyes bright at the prospect. "You're right! I can ask Ibiki-kun if I can be her mentor!"

Belatedly, Itachi wished that Sakura had existed in their lives when they were younger. It would have made getting Izumi to do things a _lot_ easier.

* * *

-x-

* * *

Izumi hummed to herself, a skip in her step as she nodded to the receptionist at the front desk of T&I. "Ibiki-kun in?"

The pretty receptionist nodded, "in his office, I think," before she paused with a slow, appreciative smile. "I like your hair this way, Izumi-san."

The Uchiha flushed, one hand nervously touching the very short strands at the back. "Thank you."

Stepping into the elevator, she pressed B7 and waited for it to take her down. The cold metal of the walls unnerved her a bit, she was never a fan of small spaces like this. There was something unnatural about this much metal. She was a much bigger fan of being in a forest than the middle of a village.

A ding, and she let herself out at the appropriate floor. The walls were a slate gray concrete, completely bland except for a few doors, and one large one at the very end of the hallway. She shivered, forgetting how cold it was down here. The floors below this were worse. She couldn't even begin to imagine how anyone could spend this much time below ground.

Stepping closer to his office, she paused at the sound of raised voices. She frowned, masking her presence and creeping up closer to the partly ajar door.

"-completely insane! Do you even know the repercussions of what you've done?" Ibiki snapped, the sounds of shuffling around the office. "And you've only just told me now? It's nearly over!"

" _Obviously_ ," Anko Mitrashi drawled, voice hinting at annoyance. "Don't worry, it won't kill her. Plus, I've seen the testing and the report. It's just a couple of mild hallucinations. Won't last more than a couple days." A long silence. " _No_ , I didn't give it to any of the other candidates. I'm not that stupid. But I figured why waste time doing two separate exams when I could combine the two. You know it was pretty much what we had planned for her anyways."

"That wasn't your directive to make. If anything, _anything_ , happens to her, that clan will have my fuckin' head. The Hokage will have my fuckin' balls."

Anko scoffed. "Please, since when are you so afraid of what the clans will do."

"Mitarashi."

A long pause. "Look, if she is half as good as what they're saying, then she'll be fine. It's just a little handicap. All she has is a VIP escort mission and a tracking and assassination contract. I mean, sure it might be a bit more difficult with _that_ in her system, but once she figures out the side-effects and takes a couple antidote pills, completing her missions won't be a problem." There was a long pause. "Ibiki. _She'll be fine._ They're both fairly easy A-Rank missions."

"You better not have fucked this up."

Izumi chewed on her thumb, getting a strange feeling in her stomach. It couldn't be Sakura they were talking about. That Chūnin group had a few ANBU prospects, from what Shisui had told her. There was no way, with Sakura's high tolerance to poisons, that they would single her out like this.

The door flew open and she came face to face with her less than favorite, or mentally stable co-worker. "Anko-senpai!" Izumi grinned, wrapping her arms around the older woman's neck with a nuzzle, hoping the action would deflect off her standing outside the door.

There was a clearing of a throat from inside the room. Izumi's gaze flittered up and she smiled brightly. "I'm back, Ibiki-kun."

Anko extracted herself from Izumi with a huff, and was quick to walk away. Pouting, Izumi turned to her boss. "Did I do something wrong?"

He sighed, moving to flop himself down in his seat. His desk was cluttered with papers, scrolls and an empty coffee cup, looking more messy than she had ever seen it. Normally, he was a pretty organized guy. "What're you doing here?"

Guilty, she slunk down in the chair from his desk, scratching nervously at her jaw. "U-uhm...so, y'know how I said that I wanted to be taken off active duty?" His raised eyebrow and slowly growing smirk made her feel even more stupid. "I...uh, lied."

That fucking grin of his almost made Izumi feel guilty coming here in the first place. Normally most ANBU went through the Hokage for missions, but give the massive amount of duties she had, Ibiki had given some influence in conducting and organizing the ANBU. Before he could even open his mouth, she held up a hand. "I _know_. You were right, I was _wrong_. Can we _please_ skip the whole part where you rub it in, and just give me the scroll to sign so I can leave?"

It didn't wipe the completely satisfied grin from his face. He made a show of digging around a drawer and pulling out a scroll to unroll it on his desk. Her name was bold at the top, along with the word 'reinstatement'. Ibiki hummed to himself, making an even bigger of a show choosing a pen from his holder. He clearly had this prepared from the moment she quit months ago and planned to milk every second of it.

Izumi groaned loudly, falling to the back of the chair, eyes locked to the ceiling before she pinched the bridge of her nose. "Are you really doing this?" He coughed out a laugh before turning it around for her to sign.

"Now," he spoke, leaning back in his chair with his arms crossed, frowning and looking displeased. "When you sign this, I don't _ever_ want to hear you talk about being taken off active duty ever again." He gestured with chin for her to sign it, "I made a very special exception for you to leave so you could become a..." his upper lip curled, " _housewife._ "

Rolling her eyes, Izumi signed her name with a flourish, before biting her thumb. She coated it with her blood and pressed it onto the scroll. "Fine, _whatever_. It's done, so can we _please_ just forget it ever happened?"

His eyebrow quirked.

"... _boss_ ," she belatedly added, knowing he had a weird fondness of her calling him that. He had taken her into ANBU's cold arms when she was a newly minted Jōnin at fifteen. He had personally trained her, and part of the reason why she was so good at what she did was because of him. In a very, _very_ vague term, he was a father to her. "Can I go now?"

He shook his head, digging around another drawer and tossed a scroll at her, along with her Fox ceramic mask. She deftly caught both, quick to tuck her mask under her arm and unroll the mission scroll. "Kumogakure? Seriously?" She groaned, burning the scroll until it was dust in her hands, then crossed her arms. "I hate that place."

"That comes directly from Hokage-sama. You should leave immediately, they were expecting you a half-day ago."

Izumi gritted her teeth. "Are you kidding me?!" She gestured to herself. "I'm wearing civvies. I don't even have a bag packed!"

Her boss shrugged, working on organizing the papers on his desk. "Good luck."

Expletive swearing echoed all the way down the hall where she sprinted, Ibiki's smile slowly slipping off his face until rubbed his face and pulled a page from beneath the piles. He prayed that his protégé hadn't seen, nor heard a thing. He knew the Haruno girl was beloved by the Uchiha clan, and was possibly one of the most influential shinobi in the village.

The scroll, dark in coloring, was locked for his own personal viewing, and he unrolled it with a quick flare of chakra.

* * *

 _***A second strain of the Lady's Nectar has been completed to succession. Separate from its counterpart, the original purple-blue tinted poison overseen tested by Mitarashi Anko, Senju Tsunade, and Haruno Sakura, this second strand has been secretly cultivated by order of Morino Ibiki. Noted for its shade more purple coloring, in the wrong light can easily be mistaken for its predecessor. It is firmly urged that the two be kept separate from each other. Below you will find a log of the effects tested._

 _Day 1: Exhibits very close similarities to the Original in terms of the beginning effects. It has been expelled from the body within minutes of ingestion. Headache started within minutes, along with tremors of both hands._

 _Day 3: Patient had developed debilitating hallucinations. We were forced to put a straitjacket when they tried to dig through their own arm with a pen to get at the 'bugs' underneath their skin. Hallucinations seem much more vivid and tactile than in the Original. When questioned about patient's perception of current events, they were unable to answer any questions correctly.  
_

 _Day 15: Headaches seen exhibited have caused the patient to be unable to keep food or liquids down, light sensitivity is much more potent. Patient has stated that the light is 'burning'._

 _Day 20: Patient has not yet fully metabolized the poison. Side-effects are consistent and lasting. Note that it is under assumption this has caused permanent damage to their psyche. Continues to see figures that torment them physically. They has been found with scratch marks on their face, with no known explanation to how they received them with both arms wrapped in the jacket. Further testing and observation required._

 _Day 25: Patient is deceased. No known cause, yet believed to be heart failure. Full autopsy to be completed at a later date._

* * *

He pulled out two vials from his rarely visited _locked_ bottom drawer. One empty, and the other filled with indigo colored liquid.

"Fuck."

* * *

-x-

* * *

A/N: They never really say who organizes ANBU. I know the Hokage gives important information, but I like to believe that Ibiki Morino has a hand in it as well. If not, then well, that's my own personal flair to this story.


	42. Chapter 33

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* * *

It felt like her head was going to split open, it was pounding so hard when she finally tried to open her eyes. It was making her feel nauseated. A low, lasting groan escaped her mouth when she tried to adjust her arms that had been tied tightly behind her back, the coarse rope rubbing her skin raw.

It was dark, wherever she was. Her face was pressed down into the dirt, and she rolled over onto her back. A rattling cough shook her body, and only one of her eyes could fully open. The other was swollen shut.

" _Fuck_ ," she winced, using all her effort to pull herself up into a seated position. Her face felt stiff, and she figured it was dried blood and dirt matted to the skin.

Panting heavily from the movement, she leaned back against the cool stone wall of her cell. Light faintly drifted in from a small window high above. Looking at it, Sakura figured even if she could get to it, she would only be able to get her calf through the ridiculously small opening.

Her chest rattled with each breath she took, a low wheezing in her lungs. Judging by the familiarity of the pain, she had a broken rib pressing on her lungs. Shifting her legs, she squeezed her thighs together, and let out an almost sob of relief when she felt no ache or pain from between her legs.

But that was quickly diminished by the realization that they wanted her awake and aware for when they did do it. Her stomach rolled, and she began to dry heave. Body vibrating with nerves, and fear, her breath came quicker and her gaze darted all around the small, filthy cell.

It smelled like rot and decay, coming from what looked to be a pile of human bones in the far corner.

The only way in or out of the cell was a intricate metal door, the slits in between not big enough to fit a person of any size. A large padlock wrapped around to keep her inside. "Shit," she breathed, stopping to let out another cough. " _Shit._ "

She knew she needed to save her energy, to just stop and think and plan, but she was entering full panic and hyperventilation mode. The chakra blockers in her system would last for several weeks before dissolving. Or at least that's what Kenji had told her, when he taunted her with an empty syringe.

"Rea-a-a-ally got yourself into a situation, eh Sakura-chan?" The elusive Mini-Demon drawled, sitting down beside her, looking disgusted at the surroundings. "Things aren't looking good for you."

Sakura whimpered, looking desperately to the illusion. "What do I do? How...how do i get out of this?"

For a moment, it almost looked like the Ino-mimic pitied her, felt _bad_ for her before she disappeared.

"H-hello," a small, timid voice called from outside the locked door. Sakura instinctively flinched, before narrowing her eyes at the new person. Was she real?

"What."

The girl, younger than Sakura, kneeled down outside the door, pushing a plate underneath the bottom. It looked like some watery broth and a stale piece of bread. "I brought you something to eat."

Sakura narrowed her eyes even more, shifting so she could kick the plate back out. It splashed onto the tattered clothing the girl wore. "I'm not fucking eating anything you give me." Sakura bit out.

She didn't seem too bothered by her clothing covered in broth, instead moving it off to the side to settle more comfortable against the metal. She tucked a strand of her messy red hair behind her ear, adjusting the sleeve back down her darkly bruised forearm.

"My name is Mina. I was a Chūnin of Kusagakure. My teammates and I accepted a contract to defeat a group of bandits plaguing a small village not far from here," her voice was soft, full of ghosts and the similarity to Sakura's own story made her stomach twist painfully. "We arrived early in the morning to assassinate them while they slept off their hangovers, only to find a large group of high-ranking missing nin. Many were ex-hunter nin's from Kirigakure. My teammates and I didn't stand a chance," she played with her thin, bony fingers and looked up at Sakura. The medic finally clued into all the scars and bruises on her deformed face. The yellowing around the corners, and the strange angles of the bones of her face told her that these were _old_.

"Ho-...how long ago was that?" Sakura's mouth was dry.

Mina looked down guilty, pulling at her sleeve again. "Three years ago. Many other girls have come and gone since then, but I have been kept alive because I stopped fighting back." Her smile was wobbly and broken. "Don't fight them. I-it...they aren't always so bad. They won't kill you, and they'll let you out in a couple weeks. You'll have to clean, and cook, but they won't hurt you that bad."

Sakura began to dry heave again, spitting up nothing but stomach acid. "Fucki-...fucking _no!_ " Her voice horrified. "I have... I have people! I have a family I need to get home to!"

Desperation began to lace her blood and she tried to scoot herself closer. "Lo-look, we-we can figure out a way out of here, right? You and me. You know their patterns, and-and...you can get me out of here. I-I can get us to safety."

Without warning, a boot found Mina's face and her thinned body went flying down the hallway. "Who the fuck said you could talk to her, eh?!" Kenji snapped, before stepping out of sight. All Sakura could hear was soft crying from Mina, along with the tell-tale sound of a boot hitting a soft surface. "Don't. Fuckin'. Speak."

The next thing she saw was Kenji dragging Mina by the hair and out of sight. Sakura's breathing became erratic again, and she pressed herself as far as she could go into the corner.

They had stripped her of most of her own clothing. Leaving her in her chest wraps and spandex leggings. No doubt they found all the weapons she had tucked into various parts of her boots, gloves, t-shirt and leggings. She had no way of fighting back.

"There now," Kenji grinned, leaning against the stone wall beside the door. "Just you an' me now, kitten."

Sakura bared her teeth at him. "Don't fucking touch me."

He rolled his eyes. "Why is it that all you cunts are the same? See," he crouched down, forearms hanging off his knees. "Mina, she's a smart one. Figured it out pretty quickly. Plus," he paused, scratching at the patchy beard growing around his chin. His sun-tanned skin dark and dusty. "she's learned to like it here. We're pretty nice guys. We feed her, clothe her, keep her body warm at night." His grin was feral, and Sakura shuddered. "If you're smart, little kunoichi, you'll follow in dear Mina-chan's footsteps. We could use some...fresh blood around here."

His cackling echoed off the walls until he disappeared. Sakura buried her face in her knees, and sobbed.

 _I just want to go home._

* * *

-x-

* * *

Mina had visited a few more times, in-between all her duties. She waved away Sakura's concern about her bloodied face, and tender abdomen. 'It's my own fault,' she said. 'I didn't ask permission first.' The young girl didn't entertain Sakura's low whispers of escape. She simply replied, with a faraway look, that there was no escaping Kenji. And those that tried, found themselves in many different pieces, thrown off the cliff at the back of the dilapidated castle.

"I missed home at first, but I got used to it. This is home now."

Sakura sneered. "Is that what you tell yourself so you can sleep at night? Mina," she stressed, "no one should have to live like this. And I know you did what you had to to survive, but I am _never_ going to stop fighting."

Mina looked up with startled dark green eyes."Why?"

"Because I have family. I have a home. I have people waiting for me."

The red-head shook her head. "They'll kill you."

Sakura narrowed her eyes. "They can try. Greater enemies than them have tried, but I won't die that easily. I have killed an Akatsuki, I am a Sannin's apprentice and an Uchiha's future wife," she said firmly, jutting her chin. "This is not where I am going to die."

Mina didn't say anything back, but chewed on the inside of her cheek before footsteps had her scattering away.

Kenji's face came into view, with a sadistic grin. "We're all ready for ya, kitten."

* * *

-x-

* * *

He took her by the hair, and she cried out painfully as he dragged her out of the castle halls, back to the main caravan area. Men lined a small pathway, cheering and jeering as he took her closer to the bonfire lit in the middle of all the tents.

"Gentlemen!" He called out, dropping Sakura and beginning a slow walk to address all his subordinates. Adjusting her body, she got herself to her knees, trying to calm her breathing. "Tonight, I have a _very_ special gift for you all."

Cheering had Sakura on edge when someone took her tightly bound arms and cut the rope off. Confused, she gingerly touched the raw, bloodied skin.

"She arrived at our doorstep, much like many other's have in the past. But," he called out dramatically, gesturing to her. "She is _not_ like the others. It is from her own mouth that she _is_ an Akatsuki killer!"

A low murmur went through the crowd and Sakura clenched her fists, eyes darting all around the circle. Firelight in the dark night lit up their faces, eager with anticipation. "Which one of you wants to be the _first_ to take down such a woman?"

Shouts rang out and Kenji gestured for calm from the crowd. "It will be strictly hand to hand combat. In all fairness, whoever defeats her, gets to have her first."

Sakura had never heard such raucous cheers from a crowd before, and it made her sick. She looked down at her fist, spreading her fingers, watching her hand vibrate with nerves.

A mountain of a man stepped out, charging at her without a single call to fight. She ducked out of the way, dodging his resulting punches and kicks. Habit had her calling for chakra to coat her skin, and it distracted her for a moment when she remembered it wouldn't come no matter how hard she called. The mountain man's fist found her face, and she went flying across the circle, skidding in the crowd who grabbed at her.

Pain. Intense, white-hot pain from her cheekbone radiating down her face.

He charged at her again, and she scrambled out of the way, only to turn sharply and begin to scamper up his back, and wrap her forearm around his neck, gripping her wrist with her other hand and _pulling_.

Choking sounds started immediately, and he clawed at her arm, trying to swing her off his body. She hung on tight, biting down the cries of pain when he began to punch at her limbs. He fell onto his back, nearly taking Sakura's breath with her, but she squeezed even tighter with her arm until there was cracking underneath her skin and the body went limp. Sakura finally let go, and pulled herself out from underneath him.

Only for another body to slash her thigh open with a knife and dart away. She cried out, and Kenji's laughing jeer from the sidelines. "I said hand to hand, you asshole!"

The smaller man with the knife, shrugged and pointed to the body. "I don't feel like dyin', but I do feel like havin' a piece of 'er!"

He darted closer to her again, and Sakura had to try and breathe and dodge each swipe of his weapon. This was life or death, and Sakura couldn't think about anything else but this moment.

This guy had managed to catch her a couple times, slicing her skin open until it bled freely. Once, Sakura thought she saw the white of her own bone. She was beginning to get light headed from the blood-loss.

"No!" Mina screamed from the sidelines, catching the thin man's attention for a second. Sakura darted forward, gripping his wrist and twisting it painfully until she dug the knife into his own neck and began to choke on his blood.

The crowd boo'd, and Kenji snapped for someone to punish Mina for her outburst.

An arm found itself around Sakura's neck and began to crush her trachea. She choked, clawing at the arm around her neck, feeling rumbles of laughter against her back. It didn't take long for the blackness to begin creeping into the corners of her eyes.

* * *

-x-

 **Non-con mentioned from here.**

 **It's not graphic, more 'looking from the outside in'.**

* * *

Cold water was splashed onto her face. Sakura sputtered, and groaned, opening her eyes to a starry sky, and a face looming in closer. The man licked his lips, the metal clattering of a belt being undone.

He was saying something to her, but she couldn't hear much over the roar of blood in her ears.

She was tired.

She was _so tired._

Her body felt weak. Even more weak than when Shisui would make her Step for twelve hours around the village. She felt like she didn't have an ounce of strength left and tears began to form in her eyes when her clothes were being ripped off her.

She didn't have any energy left to keep fighting.

She was just so _fucking tired._

The man was rough, and cruel. His breath smelled like stale ale.

She had always thought her first time would be romantic. A candle-lit bedroom, rose petals, fresh from a bubble bath and wrapped up in a fuzzy towel that one of her boyfriends would slowly unwrap.

They would kiss down her body, setting her skin on fire, touching her in all the right places. It would be an _experience_. Something she would remember fondly when she was 90 years old, speaking in blushing and hushed whispers to her children.

But this...?

 _This_...disgusting _thing_ of a person that pumped away above her...this would be burned into her body instead. Carved into the very essence of her soul.

She was defiled now.

A plucked flower.

 _Gods_ , she was just so tired.

The scarred face man came and went, another ugly face taking his place with a grin.

Sakura began to disassociate, watching it all happen from outside her body. She stood, or rather, floated above the scene like a ghost. She cocked her head to the side realizing they didn't even need to hold her down, because she had stopped fighting.

"Why _did_ you stop?" Mimic-Ino asked from beside her, arms crossed tightly.

Sakura shrugged. "What's the point? They have me now. I could fight as hard as I want, but there are dozens of them, and just one of me. I'm tired, Pig."

Mimic-Ino snarled, spitting at the ground, face morphing into Shisui's, then Itachi's, then Izumi, Tsunade, Naruto, Sasuke. Her voice unable to stabilize, sounding like a thousand voices speaking at her. "Is that how it is, Sakura? You fought a fucking Akatsuki with a sword in your body. You stood at the threshold of death, and yet you did not stop fighting." The Mimic turned to face her, stabbing her in the chest with a pointed finger. "What did you promise _them_ before you left?"

Sakura faltered, glancing between the scene and the Mimic. "I promised I would come back home."

"You think you'll get back home like this? You'll become trapped here. A plaything for them. You will become no better than that girl who is nothing but a shell of a human being."

She shook her head. "I can't go back now. I-I...I failed. This is... this is as far as I go."

Mimic's slap echoed and made Sakura's face burn. "Don't you fucking say that. Don't you lose you fire."

Sakura hissed, holding a hand to her face. "Okay, fine then _genius_. What the fuck am I supposed to do now? When they're done, they're going to lock me up again. I can't wait a couple weeks for them to start trusting me!"

Mimic had formed herself back into a young Ino, and gave her a disgusted look. "I can't believe you put a fucking back-up plan in your own stupid mouth and forgot about it."

Realization dawned on her and Sakura snapped back to her physical body. Her fist went flying into the man above her, startling him before he began to roar in anger. He paused in his assault of her body to begin to punch her face with his meaty hands. The first had her seeing stars, the second dislocated her jaw and she choked. The third hit finally managed to knock out a loose tooth.

She did the best she could with her jaw the way it was to crush open. A fake one, with a metal capsule inside. Just as Mimic-Ino so rudely reminded her. A backup plan she had put there many years ago, but forgot about.

Moving it around her mouth with her tongue, she put it between her teeth and bit down as hard as she could. It was a loud snapping sound of metal, or her jaw, that caught a few men's attention.

The bitter taste of the _Sleeping Beauty_ pill coated her tongue.

"Fuck, _fuck!_ Boss! BOSS, she just fucking took a pill!" The man shouted above her, backing off to pull up his pants.

Kenji rushed forward, reaching for her mouth to pry open her jaw. But it was too late, it had already begun to dissolve on her tongue. She let out a low, hoarse laugh that grew at the increasingly infuriated look on his face.

" _Go fuck yourself,_ " were her last words before her heartbeat began to slow, until it stopped all together.

* * *

-x-

* * *

A/N: How's everyone with this quarantine?


	43. Chapter 34

-x-

* * *

Death wasn't willing to let her go that easily.

The sheer _overwhelming_ pain of everything that had happened, everything she had locked up in that little box in the back of her head all came rushing over her. She wondered if being set on fire would hurt less than this. For a single moment, she thought her heart would stop again because she couldn't handle it all coming back at her at once. She struggled desperately to lock it all away again.

Every time she blinked, the world shifted between a bright blue sky and a dreary gray one. The sound of the ocean was the same for both visions, but she knew one was a lie. And no matter how pretty, how warm the white sand beach was, it wasn't somewhere she belonged.

Not quite yet anyways.

Mina, Sakura's memory finally supplied, pressed her hand over the medic's mouth, trying to smother the scream that came out. "Shh," she panicked, looking around the deserted beach. "You need to be quiet, or they'll hear you!"

Sakura shuddered, Mina's hands on her felt like...slime. It made her skin crawl, vaguely reminding her of when she felt spiders underneath her skin spinning webs, and it startled her enough to stop her screaming and take a breath. "I need to put your jaw back in," the redhead whispered, "but it's also broken. So if I try, it could make it even worse." Mina leaned over her again, looking even more worried than before. "Nod if you want me to try."

 _Well,_ Sakura thought to herself. _Can't break my jaw any more than it already_ is. She nodded.

Sakura moaned loudly when Mina opened it, slipping her thumbs inside and gripping the outside with her fingers. Tears were leaking before Mina got a solid grip with all the slippery blood leaking out. "On three, okay?"

Blinking an affirmative, Mina - note: _asshole_ \- moved on one and there was a loud snap as it found itself back in place. Then her hands were shutting it firmly to close off the scream that just about escaped.

Instead, it was trapped inside the medic's mouth, it rumbled and hot tears streamed from Sakura's face, glaring at the girl who looked guilty. "I can't believe you're alive."

A violent, wet rattling cough left Sakura's lungs, fresh blood coating her dry lips, when Mina removed her hands. "Me 'ther." The words caught in her throat, and throbbing jaw. It almost felt like if she opened it too much, it would fall off.

While the _Sleeping Beauty_ pill was something Sakura had created herself, she didn't actually fully test it before putting it onto a pill, and hiding it in the fake tooth in the back of her mouth. It was supposed to _just_ slow a person's heart rate to mimic death for a couple hours.

Sakura didn't actually expect her to heart to _fully_ stop. Small mercies that she actually woke up.

"What're y'doin' here?" The words came out more jumbled and slurred than she wanted. She reached up and gingerly began to touch around the edges, feeling the step off where part of the mandible body had cracked. She felt like absolute shit.

"I wanted to give you a better burial than this," she whispered, settling back on her knees, hands gripped in her lap. Mina sniffled, and wiped at her nose. In this lighting, she looked so _young_ with eyes that had seen too much. "But when I began to move you, you opened your eyes. You were looking at me."

Sakura hacked out a cough again, pushing herself up fully this time. A tattered blanket covered her body, the place between her legs was aching and sore. A quick glance at her body told her all her cuts had stopped bleeding, and began a crude form of healing. But she was certain if she began to move, they would rip open again. "How long?"

"It's been almost two days. Nightfall is going to be soon." Mina tucked a piece off her hair behind her ear, showing off a fresh blooming bruise. "Kenji was really mad, and I wasn't allowed to leave for a while."

Sakura chewed on the inside of her cheek, wincing when it hurt because _duh_ why wouldn't it? She looked down at her body, and wiped absently at her absolutely _filthy_ skin. It looked like she had gone rolling around in a dirt pit with how it coated her in a thick layer. "When d'they sleep?"

Dark green eyes widened and red hair went flying with a quickly shaking head. "You _can't be serious!"_ She reached out and gripped Sakura's arm tightly, the medic holding back a gag at the feel of it, before ripping her arm away. Mina, unbothered by the action, continued on. "You have to run away! You gave yourself a second chance and you need get away from here."

"I dunno th' land," Sakura frowned, rubbing at her blurring good eye. _C'mon, focus Sakura._ "No protection, no weapons, no water. I'll die out there." She turned her gaze to the red-head's bruising around her wrists, where the tatted yukata she wore slid up the thin arms. Reaching out, Sakura pulled back when she began to get the jitters again. "Get me a weapon, they won't be expecting me this time."

"It's not going to _work_ they're...they're too strong! There's too many. Kenji will kill us both if he wakes up." She whispered furiously.

Sakura groaned, maneuvering herself to stand up. "Fine, I'll do it myself," she snapped.

Mina sat there, watching Sakura limp away to the far end of the beach where a rope ladder hung off. "Wait," she called softly, rushing after her, clutching her arms around her chest. "I'll help you."

A true smile crossed her lips, and Sakura began to pull herself up.

* * *

-x-

* * *

The one blessing of the chakra blockers is that she didn't have a signature right now. She was like a ghost, sneaking around the backside of the castle, finding a nook to settle down in and wait until dawn.

Mina said she had duties she had to complete, but would do her best to find something sharp for Sakura to use. The plan was the same as it was the first day. But if she failed again, this time she really would die.

Sakura quelled the vibrating of her hands, clutching them close to her chest, and prayed. Prayed this would work. Prayed she would succeed. Prayed that her and Mina would make it back to Crossroads safely, and back home.

The sun dipped below the horizon and the night cooled off. Sakura gingerly wet her lips with the crudely carved bowl of water Mina managed to sneak her. Her abdomen was too tender for her to handle anything more than a sip.

There was no loud partying this night, though conversation did echo in the air. The ones who did manage to have Sakura boasted about it, commenting on how tight she was, or how much they loved the fit body of a kunoichi. Her stomach rolled, and she did her best to trap the memory in the freshly cleaned out box in the back of her head. She couldn't break down now, she _couldn't_. She had to keep it together, just for a little while longer. She just needed to get _home_.

Burying her face in her knees, there was a very small part of her - the old Sakura - wished that Itachi or Shisui would come bursting into the camp and save her, then carry her away from all this. But she knew that no matter how long she waited, they wouldn't find her in time. Best trackers the village had they may be, but those villagers had been doing this for a _long time_. They knew how to keep their mouths shut, no matter how powerful a shinobi would threaten them.

So they wouldn't come. She would have to do this alone without a single drop of chakra. The last feral fight for her life.

"Sakura... _Sakura!"_ Mina whispered, shaking her back to wakefulness. She didn't even realize she dozed off.

The scent of dew was strong in the air, the far east sky a shade lighter than the rest of the night. "It's morning."

Moving her body proved troublesome. It had settled into its position, and now ached something fierce as she began to stand up. The painful ripping of her wounds, shaking of her weakened muscles, the grumble of an empty stomach. Mina helped her up before pressing a kunai into her palm.

"I'm sorry, it's all I could find. All the bigger weapons are locked away."

Sakura shook her head, taking the spare chest wrap and scarf for Sakura to tie around her hips to preserve the last scraps of her modesty. "It's good."

* * *

-x-

* * *

The kunai wasn't as sharp as she hoped, but it did work well when she slit open her first tent, creeping barefoot to the bed where one bandit snored loudly. His face was a vague familiarity. It was clean, and too quick a death for a man like him, but she covered his mouth with her hand, letting her face be the last thing he saw.

The satisfaction she got from it was better than anything she experienced in her life. Revenge, combined with belated fury at what they did to her and all those other girls, gave her a high. She couldn't even feel the pain of her injuries anymore.

Tent by tent by tent, they fell to her single kunai. Not a single sound made to disturb the quiet morning.

Second to last was _his_ tent. The man who assaulted her first.

Taking the senbon from the previous tents, she was quick to apply them to his acupuncture points, effectively paralyzing him. His beady black eyes burst open, looking wildly around until they landed on her.

She grinned, waving her bloodied weapon in his face, letting it drip on his skin. "Hi."

"th'...th'...fuu-..."

"Surprise."

For a moment, she thought she saw true fear, a cold sweat gleaming on his upper lip. "Sorry, but uhm, this is gonna hurt." She shrugged before she cut off the pants around his body, until he was bare and his flaccid cock was against his thigh. Grabbing it tightly with her hand, she began to slowly hack at it with her now dulled kunai.

Low, guttural moans came from his mouth, eyes darting all around him.

She took her time, making sure it was completely removed, balls and all before she leaned over and shoved them into his mouth. Then she made a decent cut that nicked his femoral artery and took a step back, wiping her hands off on a stray shirt on the back of a chair. "Nice meeting you," she whispered softly, grabbing a clean tunic that fell half-way down her thighs, and exiting the tent.

The last one would be Kenji's, the large one at the far end. But instead of the man sleeping quietly in it, he stood outside, hand knotted into Mina's hair who crouched at his feet.

"My little Mina has been sneakin' off all day, guess it was you she was seein'," he grinned, twisting his hand more and earning a painful yell from the girl. "Thought you were dead, kitten." Sakura twisted the weapon in her hand, dropping her center of gravity, ignoring the way her thighs quivered. _No, lock it the fuck away Sakura.  
_

"I was," she snipped, eyes darting down to Mina who had fresh tears on her face. "Let her go."

Kenji, ugly face and all, laughed louder and pulled the young girl up by her hair until her feet barely touched the ground. "Why should I, eh? She's been my favorite girl for a couple years now," then he furrowed his brow, glancing over at her. "It _has_ been a couple years, innit Mina?" Then he reached over with his other hand, the loud _crack_ of her neck snapping filled the courtyard and he dropped the body to the ground.

Sakura jerked forward, watching her fall, body limp. Dead.

"Time to get a fresh upgrade. Her cunt was gettin' all..." he waved his hand around, "loose. Why don'tcha put the weapon down, kitten," he took a step closer, holding his hands out as if to show that he was unarmed. "You'll be my best girl. We'll move away from 'ere, and start fresh out west. Heard Earth has some great villages just _ripe_ for the takin'."

Her gaze darted around his patchy beard, dirty long dark hair, to the silvery white scars on his tanned skin. He had more than a few inches on her, and with all that muscle, he could be double her weight too.

But, unlike the Mountain Man she took down that night who was too big to maneuver around quickly, Kenji still had shape to his body, proving he could be a big man, and be quick.

Adrenaline began to course her bloodstream. Squeezing her eyes shut for a moment, she took a grounding breath. "I'll kill you, Kenji," she whispered low, opening her eyes to glare at him, tightening her grip almost painfully on her weapon.

He shrugged with a nonchalant way that told her he didn't consider her a threat, and took another step forward. She blinked, and he had disappeared. _It's begun._

Dropping to the ground, she rolled out of the way where he had jumped behind her, fist swinging into open air. She scrambled back, weapon slicing through his upper calf. He hissed loudly, and Sakura cursed. _Missed_.

Kenji came at her again, reaching for her, but she did her best to keep dodging his hands, sweeping legs. He wasn't using chakra, or weapons. Sakura wasn't sure if she was thankful or insulted. But would later come to the conclusion, it was because he wasn't trying to kill her. He wasn't threatened by a now chakra-less woman.

"I love our foreplay, kitten," Kenji purred, catching her chin with his elbow, sending her skittering across the dusty cobblestone into a pillar. A guttural scream ripped from her throat, the telltale crack of her jaw breaking even more loud in her ears. Lightning was shooting up the side of her face, and down her neck. Fresh blood leaking freely from her open mouth to the ground, where she lay half-propped up. There was a buzzing in her ears that always foretold her passing out.

 _'Sakura, get up,'_ a voice whispered in the air. Startled, she looked up and around, but there was no one there. She rubbed an anxious hand at her good eye, thinking that the hallucinations had stopped when she died. This wasn't a good time to start seeing shit. To start doubting what was real, and what wasn't.

He let out a low whistle. "Did I hit ya too hard? Sorry 'bout that. I can't have ya too broken." Sakura barred her bloody teeth at him, and took her stance once more. She saw him coming this time, and prepared. One hand mid-swing for her, and she ducked, ripping her kunai across his hand.

Two and a half fingers dropped to the ground, and his loud roar of pain had her bear crawling away from him. "You fuckin' bitch!" He reached his good hand out and took her retreating leg in a bruising grip. The bones of her ankle were grinding together and she cried out. "I was gonna be _nice_ ," he snarled, dragging her closer, bloody hand gripping onto her loose white tunic. "But now, I figure ya don't need both eyes, eh? You don't need that tongue in yer stupid fuckin' mouth, _eh?_ "

He flipped her on her back, and she kicked as hard as she could, even while he pressed her down into the stone, his body covering the majority of hers. The weight of him stealing her breath, _or_ it was his good hand gripping around her throat and squeezing.

His bloody hand reached out, stealing the kunai from her hand and pressed the dulled tip to her cheekbone. "I don't even think ya need this face," he dragged it down her cheek, across her lips. "All I need from you...is this mouth to suck my cock, a few fingers to make a hand, yer cunt for me to fuck, and knees so ya can crawl." He hissed out through his teeth, saliva on his lips, bubbling at the corners of his mouth. Kenji was looking more like a rabid dog now.

 _'Sakura, you need to get up,'_ that soft voice whispered in her ear again.

"Shisui?" She wheezed when Kenji 's other hand squeezed a bit tighter around her neck, and the edges of her vision were fading black.

"The fuck you say?" He snarled, readjusting his grip on his kunai, before he ripped it down her face. Starting at the edge of her hairline an inch above her ear, across her cheekbone, her lips, and fell off at the edge of the other side of her jaw. "Yer mine now, kitten. I won't hurt ya more if you just fuckin' _listen to me_."

She felt cool air on her face, but not pain. Even when she knew he had cut her face open pretty bad, with the wetness of it streaming down her cheek, dripping in her ear, pooling in her mouth. It didn't hurt. Not compared to everything else.

 _'Look at me,'_ Shisui commanded, and she tilted her head back as far as she could. He crouched there, Itachi by his side. They were both wearing fitted shinobi gear that she swore made them look 100x more handsome and would tease that it was the only thing she ever wanted them to wear. 'You _need to get up now. You need to fight.'_

"I did fight," she hoarsely whispered, earning a confused frown from the man above her.

 _'Fight_ harder, _Sacchan. You need to come home.'_

Tears leaked from her eyes, wishing so _hard_ this was real. That they were here for real. "Please...just save me..."

The whisper of Itachi's fingertips across her forehead, brushing away her greasy and dirt matted hair from her eyes. _'Get up, war god,'_ he smiled at her. _'Get up and_ fight _back.'_

The air shifted, and they were gone and Sakura _screamed_. Kenji was taken by surprise, having thought he had finally broke her. She spit out a mouthful at blood at him, and it was all the distraction she needed to slide her arms under his body and shove her thumbs up as far as they would go into his eye sockets.

The result was instantaneous. He fell back, fingers clawing at the bloody mess where his eyes once were. She crawled backwards out of his reach. The kunai clattered to the ground in his panic. "Wh-...m-...my fuckin' eyes!" He roared, swinging out again with his arm. "You'll pay for this! C'mere, you stupid fuckin' bitch!"

Sakura shakily got herself to stand up, reaching down to take the weapon in her grip. It felt like the world was on an axis, and it was beginning to drop out around her. She shook her head hard. It wasn't _over_ yet.

Bare feet muffled the sound of her steps as she walked around him, quick to slice his Achilles tendon in half. His screams...were music to her ears. It tasted so sweet on her tongue that she stood there for a few moments, eyes closed, drinking it up.

This... _monster_ that she had been so afraid of now rolled around on the ground, screaming like a child, simultaneously trying to clutch his blind eyes and dangling feet. She spit out another mouthful of blood to the ground. Sakura crouched down just out of his reach, propping her chin up in her hand. The pain of her body had become background noise. "Now then," she grinned, tasting iron. "It's just you an' me, kitten." His words echoed in her mouth, before she ripped his head back to expose the pallor of his neck. "I'll take good care of ya."

Oh, she was going to _enjoy_ this.

* * *

-x-

* * *

The village was just as deserted as the first time she came through, doors and windows locked up tight. A deceivingly innocent open door of the far building, just begging to be explored. She shuffled down the sandy pathway, her right arm aching from the weight of her gift. It had taken at least a full day for her to walk back from the ruins, judging by the sun across the sky. She hadn't stopped once, knowing that if she did, she would never be able to get back up again.

The meager amounts of water she stole in a water bladder was barely enough to get her across the sand. Her rust stained tunic was soaked to her body in sweat, legs were bare, sunburned and flaking. There were no pants that would fit her. She had even debated taking from Mina, - whom she had no choice but to bury out there in the sand - but the girl was _so tiny_ , and Sakura couldn't go through with it, so she had to make do with her ruined spandex leggings. She cut off the tattered edges off at the knee.

Surprisingly enough, the only things that made it out of the whole ordeal was the boots and arm protectors from her boyfriends. She found them stuffed into what she assumed was a trophy box in Kenji's tent with various other weapons, colored scarves, locks of hair, empty weapon pouches and dozens upon dozens of hitai-ate. Sakura found her own in there, and tied it on her upper thigh, closing off the deepest wound she sported. She also felt bad knowing she would have to tell Mikoto that her precious Jōnin outfit had been ruined.

It was so cool inside the hall, like water being splashed on her burned skin, when she slipped inside. Her tongue peaked out to touch her swollen, flaking dry lips. There was a full congregation inside, all the villagers in the pews, as Saburo stood at the dais speaking loudly about something or other. She couldn't really hear over the buzzing in her ears.

He shuffled some cards, ran a hand through his gray hair, looking up to speak once more when his attention landed on her and a startled yell escaped him.

Dozens of curious eyes turned to her.

They were seeing a ghost, or probably more accurate, a corpse. Some vague similarity to the girl that left bright-eyed and eager many days ago from the village. Someone they had not expected, like all those poor shinobi before her, to return. Alive, no less.

She only wished she was able to bask and appreciate the raw horror on their faces a little bit longer.

There was a low wheezing in her chest when she breathed, dragging herself to the far end. _Was the hall this big_ _before?_ Her vision beginning to blur at the edges, and she forcibly had to blink to recenter herself. She wouldn't pass out here, _now_ , like this. The other two elders from the first time she came stepped up, pulling Saburo back with them, whispering fiercely. They kept glancing at her with equal parts worry and fear.

She stepped up to the front, panting heavily, tossing the head across the polished wood floor where it rolled, congealed blood leaking freely until Kenji landed face up in front of Saburo. She then tossed the item from her left hand, the large bag of coin skittering across the floor before spilling open. It was all she could bear carrying, and it was heavy enough. With the money, she hoped that those that were innocent in this village, would be able to get away from here.

"I've taken care of your bandit problem," she slurred through her dry, aching mouth. The movement pulled at the crusted over ragged cut that bisected her face. She reached into the weapons bag attached to her quivering thighs and pulled out her document. Holding it out, she cleared her throat and spoke again. "Sign the scroll, please." The original black scroll wasn't something she trusted to keep in her room at the Inn, or on her person. So before she had left, she had buried it just outside the village for safekeeping.

The congregation was stunned into silence, Saburo especially. His traitorous little eyes darting between her and her outstretched hand, mouth gaping open like he couldn't believe this was real. She narrowed her one good eye, putting much more force into her words. "Sign. The. Fucking. Scroll. _Please_."

Saburo was quick to grab onto it after that, opening it to stamp it and sign with a swipe of his blood. His arm shook as he held it out to her. She wondered if he thought she would kill him too. After all, he lied to many girls, and sold many more. He was just as guilty as Kenji. Taking a half-step closer, she grabbed it, tucking it back into place.

"Thank you."

Turning, she began her shuffle back out. The villagers going out of their way to give her more than enough ample room to get out of the doors. She shifted her gaze to the side, catching the sight of a young girl. Just on the cusp of puberty with pretty angles to her face, fresh clean skin and large doe eyes.

Exactly the kind of girl Kenji would ruin.

A very tiny nod, the vague lifting of her lips in the semblance of a smile, and Sakura stepped back out into the heat.

* * *

-x-

* * *

The water was as hot as she could run it, and she hissed loudly when she shakily lowered herself into the tub. The steam obscured her vision, as she groped around for a scrub brush and soap.

And then she went to war.

Her skin was black and blue. Distinct outlines of fingers at her wrists, forearms, the outside of her thighs. There was barely any sliver of her body that wasn't cut up, bruised or raw. How was she still _alive?!_

She could still feel them holding her down, she could still smell their breath, sweat. It was finally all settling in, it was finally all coming back to her. They all may be dead, but the echoes of them still lingered on her.

They had taken her virginity and she wheezed out a sardonic laugh. It was the oldest fucking story in the book. It was so cliché, it made her teeth hurt when she clenched her jaw. A pretty virgin girl thinking she could tear the world apart at the seams, sent on a mission where she was double-crossed. Locked up, tortured and abused.

Only _this time,_ there was no handsome white knight flying in to save her. She had to save herself. At the cost of _everything_.

Sakura didn't even know what _day_ it was, how long it had been since she left home. She found she didn't even give a fuck about the exam anymore. This had ruined her. _Broken_ her. She would wear the scars both physical and mentally for the rest of her life. Who the fuck cares about passing a stupid exam, when she had been thrown to the wolves, by a mission that hadn't been vetted properly.

It had all gone wrong the moment Anko fucking Mitarashi forced her to take a shot of poison. The catalyst that had begun the slow erosion of Sakura Haruno. For a girl who already had someone else living in her head for many years as a child, it was beyond what she could handle. Unable to sleep, to eat, to trust what her eyes saw. Forcing to self-harm just so she could _think_ clearly, and lay in bed without visions tormenting her just so she could try and get some rest. But it didn't work out that well, and the only time she ever did get some true sleep, her heart had stopped beating.

A low, bubbling laugh crawled up her throat. "I can sleep when I'm dead, hm Shisui?" Sakura hoarsely whispered into the empty bathroom.

It wasn't until she took a shuddering breath in that she realized she was full on sobbing. It wasn't steam that obscured her vision, it was her own tears mixed with laughter that hinted insanity.

With a shaking hand, she took a cloth that was more pink now than white, and pressed it at the junction of her thighs. She let out a sharp, gasping breath at how sore it was, and began to wipe at the abused skin. She may have been pure, but she knew enough about sex to know what happened.

Sakura let out another high-pitched whine mixed with a laughing sob and shoved the pain away and scrubbed harshly. But no matter how hard she scrubbed, she couldn't get rid of it. The feeling, the memory, the echo. Frustrated she tossed the cloth across the room, where it landed against the wall with a splat, and fell into a puddle. She drew her legs up to her chest, burying her face against her knees, gripped the side of the deep tub and _screamed_.

 _All she could hear is Kenji cooing at her. 'My little kitten,' he would say, fresh ale on his breath. The clammy, sticky warmth of a body on hers. Filthy words from dirty mouths whispered in her ears. Thick fingers forcing her jaw open, ringing laughter around the circle. 'I've marked ya, kitten. Every time ya look at yerself, you'll be reminded of me,' he grinned at her. 'You'll always be mine.'  
_

Her nails began to dig into her skin, thinking that if she couldn't wipe it away, then perhaps she could scratch it out. So she clawed at her own skin, ripping open her soggy wounds, the bath water turning a strange muddy pink, but she couldn't stop.

 _Please,_ she begged. _Someone, just make it stop!_

A woman rushed into her room without a single knock on the door. Turning her good eye, Sakura vaguely recognized her as Naomi, the bartender.

"Shite," she swore, kneeling down beside the bath. "Alright there?" She reached for her.

Sakura's howl filled the bathroom. _"Don't fuckin' touch me!"_

Naomi tsk'd, getting up to grab a towel. "I heard ya came back, an' people are sayin' there's screamin' comin' from 'ere and..." she paused, taking a closer look at how the marks patterned Sakura's skin and let out a long, slow sigh. "Shite. Ye poor lass." She crouched down again, fingertip dipping into the water. "Water's freezin', y'gotta get out now."

"I-I...I can't," Sakura shook her head back and forth, teeth chattering. Phantom hands were holding her down. "I-I can't _get up._ "

"Y'can, lass. I'll help ya," Naomi reached, touching her as gently as she could to pull Sakura from the bloody water, swearing low at the exposed wounds of her body. "We gotta take care of these."

Stepping from the cold water, Sakura gripped the towel around her like a lifeline. Blooming red flowers staining the stark whiteness of it. "I-I-I'mma...medic, best in-in my village. I-I can do it."

Naomi sighed, putting her hands on her hips, brushing a piece of her dark, curly brown hair out of her eyes. Shame high on her cheeks, she murmured "not with them chakra blockers in yer system, I bet."

She was directed to the bed, and made to sit down while the bartender busied herself around the room, pausing at the scraps of clothing Sakura tossed at the floor. She vaguely heard her mumbling something about bringing something clean back later.

Naomi left the room for only a moment, coming back with a tray laden with folded linens, a teapot and cups.

She set them down on the bedside table, pouring a steaming cup and pressing it into Sakura's hands. "Drink it."

Sakura shook her head, stomach clenching, pushing it back to Naomi. "I'm not thirsty."

Naomi pushed back. "Y' _need_ to drink this, unless ye wish to care for a babe."

Her stomach rolled, eyes wide. The teacup nearly shattering in her hands from how tight she gripped it. "A-a baby?"

"Drink," she repeated, helping bringing the cup to Sakura's lips. It was bitter, and it burned her throat. When the cup was empty, and warmth had bloomed in Sakura's belly, it was refilled with Naomi dragging up a chair and a med kit. She stitched up the deep wounds on her legs, and arms, moving to the one that crossed Sakura's face. Naomi apologized that she wasn't that good with a needle and thread , and it would probably heal with a distinct scar. The last thing Naomi did was give her a sleeping pill, saying that she'll need to get some rest if she wanted to make the journey back home tomorrow. "Don't think too poorly of us, lass, for what we had to do to survive."

Sakura didn't want to sleep, but the sedative was too strong, and she found herself being pulled into the dark.

* * *

-x-

* * *

A/N: Man, this one was a monster to write. It took so, SO many scrapped documents just to get it to sound right. Every time I re-read it, I would end up with an additional 1k words. As you can see, quarantine has given me a lot of time to get writing done. Expect like... _all_ the angst next.


	44. Excerpt IX

-x-

* * *

The last day of the exam had brought many people out of the woodwork. Folding chairs, food tents and betting tables had all set up just inside the gates. It was a bit of a spectacle that only ever happened every few years. While the Chūnin exams were something fun to watch, it was the Jōnin ones that people really geared themselves up for. The successful ones would ride the glory of it, an entire village coming to congratulate them. Everyone wanted to know who it would be that would teach the next generation of shinobi, be the new leaders in the village.

It always turned into a festival.

"Bet Zuzu-chan is beside herself she can't be here for this," Shisui grinned, flopping back down in his seat beside Itachi with a refilled sake ceramic jug. The cousins had set up just outside the gate, beside the Twins to keep them company. Much to the latter's relief. "We gotta make sure we rub it in her face that we got to her first."

Itachi raised an eyebrow, but raised his ochoko in salute.

Sasuke, not surprising to anyone, had come through first in the early dawn with successful completion of three high-ranking track-and-assassinate contracts at the far ends of a northern Lightning village, a western Earth compound and a far southern Waves island. He tossed the stamped black scroll to Anko Mitarashi, who also set up at the gates and waltzed on by. For once, he actually looked a bit tired, and was sporting a shiner.

The only passing comment he made was to be notified when Sakura made it through.

But as the day passed, eight more Chūnin had come through the gates, and none of them were her. Each of the others had incomplete scrolls indicating mission failure. It was tough to see, especially how exhausted they all looked.

"She has until the sun sets, or she fails," Anko grinned, stealing the sake jug from beside the shinobi, and taking a long swig of it.

Itachi glanced up at her before looking back to the darkening path leading up to the village. "She'll be here."

Shisui smirked, shuffling the playing cards in his hand. "Gotta save the best for last."

* * *

-x-

* * *

"There is no way she could fail this exam," Shisui snapped pacing the office, one hand running through his hair and across his face. He hadn't slept in over twenty-four hours, standing at that stupid gate all night. "Something _happened_ to her, and we need to go out there and find her!"

Tsunade sat upright and stiff in her chair, hands clasped tightly in her lap. The firm purse of her lips, and steady gaze made him furious. "Exam rules state that we must wait an additional forty-eight hours before we can take action."

Shisui swore loudly, driving his fist into the wall before he stalked out of the office.

* * *

-x-

* * *

"Hokage-sama," Itachi said softly, geared up in full ANBU, standing at attention in front of her desk. He looked calm and controlled, but there was a tightness around his eyes which weren't fully black, but lingering closer to red. "The exam ended four days ago, and yet Sakura has not returned. Send Shisui and I to go find her."

Tsunade shook her head, dark circles underneath her eyes stark against the pale of her skin. "Family and loved ones are forbidden from participating in rescue missions. I have sent a separate team with the best Inuzuka tracking dogs. The two of you will stay here."

"Hokage-sama..."

" _Dismissed_ , Bear," she snapped.

* * *

-x-

* * *

Shisui had bitten his thumb to pieces, and it bled lazily. He paced up and down the entrance of the village, glancing up every now and then to Itachi who stood as a statue beside the doors. His eyes never leaving the road. Shisui wondered if he even trusted himself to blink.

Neither of them had left the gates for long since the exam ended nine days ago. The Gate Twins had promised to notify them the moment there was news, telling them to go rest. That they weren't doing themselves, or her any good by denying themselves sleep. Itachi and Shisui both turned blazing red eyes to them, and the argument stopped there.

"It's been _days_ since that tracking team went out. How haven't they found her yet?" He said lowly, eyes bleeding to his sharingan before fading to black, only to bleed again. "Fucking _incompetent_ mutts, can't even do a single thing correctly." He paused, stepping up close to his cousin to murmur in his ear. "We can go, Itachi. You and I...no one could stop us."

Itachi turned, the lines beneath his eyes deeper than before with a dead gaze, purple bruising beneath his eyes from sleepless nights. "We would be branded missing-nin for defying Hokage-sama's orders, and abandoning the village."

The younger cousin poked him in the chest, leaning in close. "Who the fuck cares about that. _She_ is out there. She could be injured, or captured. She could be..." There was the hint of a waver in his cousin's eyes. "Fuck the Hokage, and _fuck_ her orders. You and I are the best goddamn trackers this village has." He dropped his voice even lower, knowing that the Gate Twins still lingered close by.

It was some time, but a small nod from Itachi had Shisui ready to bolt from the gates when he faltered in his steps.

There, limping their way up the pathway was a person. Which took all four shinobi at the gate by surprise. They had absolutely no chakra signature, didn't make a single sound when they moved, and their scent blended in with the musky dirt of the forest.

Even in the mid-day sun, it was so hard to make out the features.

Short near black hair was matted against their head, sticking to their face. A once white tunic was mutilated and grimy, revealing a bruised and malnourished shoulder. An ankle was bent at a sickening 90 degree angle with every limping step they took. The tantō clutched in their right hand weighed their entire arm down, causing them to lean to the side, the tip dragging a shallow line into the ground. There was a strange rattling sound coming from their chest when they breathed, which happened less than a couple times a minute. One pouch attached to their lacerated thighs contained a black scroll, the other brandishing a tattered hitai-ate that hung by a few weak threads.

"Sakura," Itachi choked out, spotting the familiar leather boots and forearm guards.

She lifted her gaze at the sound. Only one eye was able to open, the green of it was barely visible from the flaming redness of the sclera around it. She had black bruising underneath her eyes and she tried to bare her teeth in warning but the action only served to split open part of the massive jagged cut that crossed her face "...let me pass...or I'll kill you..."

Shisui was frozen, and could only watch her in sickened horror, body shaking in subdued fury. The cloudiness of her only eye told him that she couldn't see properly. She probably didn't even know where she was.

His rational mind told him that this...this _thing_...it couldn't _possibly_ be her. This wouldn't happen to _her_. The Hokage would have _never_ sent her on a mission that would result in this. This was a joke. He had to be fucking dreaming. This _couldn't_ happen to her. The tell-tale sound of her broken ankle crunching when she walked on it had his stomach turning, and he doubled over, dry heaving. _  
_

"Little pink," Kotetsu murmured, glanced back at the older Uchiha, and taking a step closer. _That_ was the reason why family and loved ones weren't allowed on rescue missions. You could be the strongest shinobi the village had, but seeing the person you loved look like this...

She moved quicker than anyone thought she could, given her state. The edge of her weapon pressed into his neck, drawing a bead of blood that dripped down his neck, staining the collar of his jacket.

"...I need...to get... _home_..." She wheezed, sword dropping to her side when he took a step back, hands held up in surrender.

"Sakura," Itachi's firm voice didn't waver, but his face had lost all color, and his fists balled up so tight at his sides that blood dripped between his fingers. "You _are_ home. You're at the gates."

Another agonizingly slow, rattling breath wheezed out her mouth, she blinked. She looked from their faces, to the pallid green of the gate, tracing the red hiragana _'an'_ with her eye. _"...home...?"_

Then, like a puppet with her strings cut, her body crumpled to the ground.

 _"Sakura!"_

* * *

-x-

* * *

A/N: Immortal Sakura lives another day. Thank you for the support, everyone. We got through the exams, and this story celebrated its 1st birthday recently. Yay.

p.s. what can I say? I have gotten _reaaaallly_ good at torturing my characters.

p.p.s I love reviews, please leave one on your way out?

(you can even tell me how mean I am, I don't mind)


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